Harassment on GC

[the411]

Let me say something to my Sorors and to SisterFriends who have desires to become members of DST or any black sorority (if this does not apply to you, then please don't take offense). And, please know that my intention here is not to hurt anyone's feelings, but mainly to keep the peace and maintain a good comfort-level for all.

As moderator, I receive, at minimum, 10-20 private messages or e-mails from ladies who are reporting that they are being harassed by Sorors or other prospectives.

TO SORORS: Please remember your virtues as Delta Women. We are to be kind to others and to explore tactful, constructive ways of offering advice or criticism to those ladies who are interested in becoming members of our Illustrious Sisterhood. It pisses me off when I come across Sorors and other greeks who seem to forget from whence they came! We were ALL prospectives at some point or another! And, furthermore, I doubt there is 1 single person who did not have to deal with the rudeness, coldness, and/or meanness of AT LEAST 1 member who was already in the org we chose to pledge! How did YOU feel when you had a simple, legitimate question about the org, but were straight up dissed, ignored, or humiliated when you tried to ask it--even when you practiced discretion, tact, and appropriateness in broaching the subject?!?!? How did you feel when you got dirty looks from members whom you knew could vote you in or vote you out? There IS a way to deal with interested ladies, but I totally disagree that harassment, ridicule, and meanness is it. You are not at all obligated (and in some cases authorized) to answer questions about the org and membership qualifications/intake. BUT-- as Deltas, you ARE obligated to show some consideration for other peoples' feelings and compassion for the naivete of prospectives who genuinely are just learning, ESPECIALLY when it comes to this forum.

TO SISTERFRIENDS: If you aren't in DST, you have NO RIGHT to tell anyone else what her chances are/aren't of becoming a member. How dare you-- an aspirant--decide whether or not someone will/won't, should/shouldn't become a Delta? You don't have a CLUE what the intake process is REALLY like on the inside, nor do you know what specific characteristics are required for membership. Every prospective THINKS she knows! Even those of you who submitted once and were rejected may THINK you know, but I assure you that you do NOT! So, instead of putting someone else down for what YOU deem to be wrong or bad, you should be sweeping around your OWN front door! In other words, check yourself--by putting others down and being judgemental, YOU are the one who is exemplifying un-Delta-like qualities. If you know something that could HELP a person who may really just not know enough, a Delta-like quality would be to HELP her, not belittle her. Keeping helpful info to yourself and being competitive are traits that have absolutely NOTHING to do with SISTERHOOD! You can't be a 1/2 of a woman during your application and expect to be a WHOLE woman if/when you pledge! We seek Delta attributes in ALL prospectives--i.e. you must already be a WHOLE woman!

I urge you to take heed to Matthew 7:1-3

1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

This is ALL said to each of you in TRUE, SISTERLY, LOVE, I promise!

PROSPECTIVES & INTERESTEDS: If you have sensible questions that haven't been answered already (via previous posts, announcements, the Official DST page, etc.), I encourage you to e-mail a MODERATOR, rather than to post publicly. If it's something we can answer, we will. If not, we'll just politely tell you that the answer is "classified." Also, you may want to update your profiles and signatures so that it's not so obvious where you're from. It is useless to declare your interest in Delta to us, as NONE OF US has any role in whether you will/won't be extended membership. Please, please, please keep that in mind!



And I'm Out!

[Nubian]

Great post, I truly hope it has an impact.

[ChaosDST]

I was unaware that any of this was going on at GC. It is really unnerving, actually. I think Soror Moderator addressed the issue excellently. I just wanted to encourage EVERYONE on GC to maintain positive and nurturing relationships and friendships OUTSIDE of the internet. I am seeing a disturbing trend of people who rely on such internet tools as their sole interactions, which can prove very harmful. Go out, meet people, get from behind the computer...it's good for ya As Soror Moderator said, if this doesn't pertain to you, please don't take my words to heart.

[Virtual Violet]

Originally posted by the411
Let me say something to my Sorors and to SisterFriends who have desires to become members of DST or any black sorority (if this does not apply to you, then please don't take offense). And, please know that my intention here is not to hurt anyone's feelings, but mainly to keep the peace and maintain a good comfort-level for all.

As moderator, I receive, at minimum, 10-20 private messages or e-mails from ladies who are reporting that they are being harassed by Sorors or other prospectives.

TO SORORS: Please remember your virtues as Delta Women. We are to be kind to others and to explore tactful, constructive ways of offering advice or criticism to those ladies who are interested in becoming members of our Illustrious Sisterhood. It pisses me off when I come across Sorors and other greeks who seem to forget from whence they came! We were ALL prospectives at some point or another! And, furthermore, I doubt there is 1 single person who did not have to deal with the rudeness, coldness, and/or meanness of AT LEAST 1 member who was already in the org we chose to pledge! How did YOU feel when you had a simple, legitimate question about the org, but were straight up dissed, ignored, or humiliated when you tried to ask it--even when you practiced discretion, tact, and appropriateness in broaching the subject?!?!? How did you feel when you got dirty looks from members whom you knew could vote you in or vote you out? There IS a way to deal with interested ladies, but I totally disagree that harassment, ridicule, and meanness is it. You are not at all obligated (and in some cases authorized) to answer questions about the org and membership qualifications/intake. BUT-- as Deltas, you ARE obligated to show some consideration for other peoples' feelings and compassion for the naivete of prospectives who genuinely are just learning, ESPECIALLY when it comes to this forum.

TO SISTERFRIENDS: If you aren't in DST, you have NO RIGHT to tell anyone else what her chances are/aren't of becoming a member. How dare you-- an aspirant--decide whether or not someone will/won't, should/shouldn't become a Delta? You don't have a CLUE what the intake process is REALLY like on the inside, nor do you know what specific characteristics are required for membership. Every prospective THINKS she knows! Even those of you who submitted once and were rejected may THINK you know, but I assure you that you do NOT! So, instead of putting someone else down for what YOU deem to be wrong or bad, you should be sweeping around your OWN front door! In other words, check yourself--by putting others down and being judgemental, YOU are the one who is exemplifying un-Delta-like qualities. If you know something that could HELP a person who may really just not know enough, a Delta-like quality would be to HELP her, not belittle her. Keeping helpful info to yourself and being competitive are traits that have absolutely NOTHING to do with SISTERHOOD! You can't be a 1/2 of a woman during your application and expect to be a WHOLE woman if/when you pledge! We seek Delta attributes in ALL prospectives--i.e. you must already be a WHOLE woman!

I urge you to take heed to Matthew 7:1-3

1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

This is ALL said to each of you in TRUE, SISTERLY, LOVE, I promise!

PROSPECTIVES & INTERESTEDS: If you have sensible questions that haven't been answered already (via previous posts, announcements, the Official DST page, etc.), I encourage you to e-mail a MODERATOR, rather than to post publicly. If it's something we can answer, we will. If not, we'll just politely tell you that the answer is "classified." Also, you may want to update your profiles and signatures so that it's not so obvious where you're from. It is useless to declare your interest in Delta to us, as NONE OF US has any role in whether you will/won't be extended membership. Please, please, please keep that in mind!



And I'm Out!

I totally agree with the 411, we do sometimes need to remember from whence we came, before DST. Many prospective don't know when they are being inappropriate, so have patience with them. In the same vein, prospectives need to remember that you aren't entitled to an answer from my sorors regarding membership intake in any way. Work hard on your credentials (grades, service), do your research (outside of the internet) and let the chips fall where they may. Remember this is something YOU DECIDED TO PURSUE, and it isn't going to be spoon-fed to you.

Finally, if you are PRESENTLY pursuing membership intake (i.e. completing packets, interviewing, etc.), please be aware that we aren't allowed to address your questions, kindly direct them to the contacts as instructed at the rush.

[ladygreek]

Originally posted by Virtual Violet
Finally, if you are PRESENTLY pursuing membership intake (i.e. completing packets, interviewing, etc.), please be aware that we aren't allowed to address your questions, kindly direct them to the contacts as instructed at the rush.

This is important for everyone to understand, sorors and prospectives.

Very appropriate address in regards to harsh approaches by Sorors... but I'm wondering if we're dismissing the underlying notion that brings such things to the forefront to begin with. ie... whatever happened to inducing humilty and instilling Delta's version of "the fear of God" into prospectives? Are we abandoning that approach in favor of nurturing and accommodating personas? I personally think that Sorors having been born through a psychologically arduous process, then crossed and welcomed into doting arms, are more likely to be dedicated to and appreciative of the sisterhood than Sorors who've somehow avoided the fledgling jolts. Just my two cents. Would love to hear others' thoughts.


The Diva in Refuge

[ChaosDST]

I admire your eloquence and how well "spoken" your posts are. I had to get out the dictionary for this post (just joking). But, opinions on this matter differ, thanks for expressing yours. I think the overall point is that no matter HOW people wish to treat others (I hope we'd all be respectful, but that's your business), disrespect and any unruly behaviors are NOT welcome on GC.
If you're a hopeful for membership, be weary of expressing this interest over the internet...to be honest with you, you don't know WHO'S sitting behind the PC or WHO'S replying to your posts, etc. Greeks need to be mindful of this, also. Greekchat (or any other internet tool) is NOT to be used as a substitute for in-person human interaction...so folks who come on GC to release their frustrations, insecurities, or ISHEWS on others need to seat back and take a deep BREF.

Originally posted by REIKI


If my comment is out of place on this board, I apologize ahead of time...Since when is respect "accomodating"? Humility is a four-way street and requires all parties to remain on equal ground at all times. That is my theory. Strength is not defined by false humility and/or forced false humility. Strength is defined by equal, consistent humility that has at the forefront of it's core intent, the edification of ALL parties involved. I, a Greek prospective, am more likely to be "dedicated to and appreciative of the sisterhood" when my "sisters" have valued me so much so, that even in the position of "teacher/big sister" they know how to employ true "humility" in a manner that is so evident and unpretentious, that it incites my mind to wonder..."Fledgling jolts", especially undirected, and uncontrolled, are plain old disrespect masked under another name. Once again, that is my theory, and it may be out of place for this board. If it is, feel free to delete this post, and I will understand.

Peace.

[ChaosDST]

I'm glad you didn't assume, because you would've been incorrect. I was admiring your eloquence...but was speaking generally with regards to people using GC as a mechanism to disrespect others. Thanks for not assuming, though...I think if more of us stopped assuming in life (and on these message boards) there would be less "drama" and negative tones.

Originally posted by REIKI


I am not sure whether you were directing your comments specifically at me or speaking generally in reference to 'expressing interest, voicing frustrations, insecurities, issues, etc.', so I will not assume you were directing your comments specifically at me. I do appreciate your respect for my opinion on the matter though.

Peace.

[Reds6]

Ok, I'm sure some would not agree with me. When I was in school, if a girl let her interest be known to me, my reaction to her would probably be in how she approached me. if you come to me and ask, "when are the sorors are having a rush" "how much does it cost so I can save", etc and this has happened. You may not get a pleasant response. Will I disrespect you no, but what i find disrespectful may not be to the next.
If you come to me as a woman in a respectful way than thats is what you get. Also I never wasted my time with folks that I knew were not qualified. Thats part of the problem.
Also I don't think anything is handed to anyone. An interview for a job is even hard. I think we are expected to hold some of these interest hands to be PC.
If people wouldn't take ISH personal than they would relax and enjoy the entire process.

[ChaosDST]

I thought we were specifically talking about Harassment on GC. If that's still what we're discussing, I don't see the internet as a place for interests to ask questions regarding intake, rush or anything. Interests have access to a lot more information than most of us had access to years ago. Therefore, instead of interests emailing and getting on these message boards, they need to get the necessary resources and do some researching. These resources have been made (too) available, so I'm confused as to what interests would still be asking about. In terms of more specific information, that's why we have chapters with members...get off the internet and talk to a real Delta---afterall, that's the chapter that you're interested in, right?
Therefore, I also don't see the internet as a place to put interested young ladies "in their place" or humble anyone. Regardless of how sorors feel about whatever, GC isn't our opportunity to bring in new members. It should be taken as what is...only an internet message board.


Just my $19.13

DSTDeuce