Depledging Then Rushing Again

OneLove719 · #1 11-13-2006, 10:21 PM

Hey all,

I've been on this board for awhile, but I finally decided to make a name and post. I've read topics pertaining to this question, but I'd really like to share my concerns and perhaps talk to someone through PM.

My name is Samantha and I am currently a sophomore at a university in the north with deferred rush. Long story short, I depledged the group I joined because I was very unhappy with my group, not greek life in general. Since then, a lot of things in my life have improved and I would like to rush again.

My question is, should I tell my Rho Chi my story before rush starts, and ask her how the sororities might react in response to my depledging?

Also, if anyone would like to PM me I would be more than happy to answer any questions! In fact, I would love to privately share my circumstances and reasons for depledging, but I do not want to give any information that might give away which school I go to or who I am. So please, I could use any advice!

Thank you all!

<3 Samantha

Drolefille · #2 11-13-2006, 10:50 PM

It can depend on the school. At some schools you can rush again no problem and get a bid. Some you will have difficulty getting a bid because you're a sophomore. Some will kind of shun you if you depledged.

But, asking the question, and explaining your situation to your Rho Chi is a good idea. I'd make sure you don't ask one who's from whatever chapter you depledged (assuming you remember the women well enough). Be prepared to answer the questions if you are asked about it during rush: Why did you depledge? What's changed that you think you'll be ok with pledging now? Etc.

And go through recruitment, but with an open mind. Your options may be more limited, but you also may find a better fit for you.

OneLove719 · #3 11-13-2006, 10:55 PM

Thank you for responding!

At my school, there are plenty of sophomores who get bids. So that fact alone should not hurt me very much.

When I'm talking to the girls, should I bring up the fact I depledged, say, if they ask why I didn't rush last year? Or should I wait for them to mention it?

Drolefille · #4 11-13-2006, 11:06 PM

I wouldn't bring it up unless they ask about last year/rush etc. Don't lie about it. They almost certainly already know so not fessing up just looks shady. But don't make it the focus of your conversation either.

"Hi, I'm OneLove and I pledged XYZ etc." is not exactly the best conversation topic to start on

violetpretty · #5 11-13-2006, 11:10 PM

Right, definitely don't center conversation around it, but chances are that a sister will ask you why you decided to go through recruitment. This would be an appropriate time to talk about your situation.

EGAOPi · #6 11-14-2006, 01:35 AM

I definitely understand your situation and I've seen this happen to girls in the past.
One of my good friends went thru recruitment last year as a freshman and got a bid from a sorority that she wasn't really into. She tried really hard and never really made that connection so after a little while, she decided to depledge.
She cited money reasons instead of admitting that she didn't feel at home no matter how hard she tried. Part of the thing was that she just wasn't ready. She ended up enjoying her first year without being a part of Greek Life by knew the ultimately she'd rush again.
She went thru fall recruitment again this year (as a sophomore), and things worked out very well. She got her top choice sorority this year and absolutely loves them. Some girls asked her if she went thru before because she looked familiar and she told her she did and explained her situation without going into too much detail or insulting the other sorority she was previously in. The girls understood and invited her back everyday. She actually got asked back to all but one of her top choice sororities every day.
Some girls didn't even ask her about it. It's normal for sophomores to go thru, so it doesn't really raise that question as often (at least not here).
If someone does outright ask you about it, be honest but don't go into extreme detail. Just say something like, "I went thru last year and got a bid but I didn't find my home. It truly wasn't the place for me and I wasn't really ready at that point, but now I am and I'm really excited about this experience and I now know what I want out of a sorority, so I'm looking forward to this opportunity"...something along those lines. You can make it into a quick sentence so you know what to tell everyone.
Good luck to you and please let us know how it goes...it's wonderful to hear you're interested in finding a home this time around. I hope it all works out!
<3

DeltaEtaKP · #7 12-19-2006, 12:33 AM

I also go to a school with deferred recruitment. I have seen quite a few girls who depledge and then go through recruitment again. Sometimes it works out well, sometimes it doesn't. I think it depends on your situation, honestly.

RhoPsiDST · #8 12-19-2006, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaEtaKP

I also go to a school with deferred recruitment. I have seen quite a few girls who depledge and then go through recruitment again. Sometimes it works out well, sometimes it doesn't. I think it depends on your situation, honestly.

Can some just explain deferred recruitment to me? I am just in awe that your orgs let you "depledge" and even consider joining another.... I can believe you even think about doing it.

oh well, different strokes

NinjaPoodle · #9 12-19-2006, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RhoPsiDST

Can some just explain deferred recruitment to me? I am just in awe that your orgs let you "depledge" and even consider joining another.... I can believe you even think about doing it.

oh well, different strokes

SisterGreek, sending you a PM

33girl · #10 12-19-2006, 02:07 PM

Deferred recruitment is when first semester freshmen are not allowed to pledge a fraternity or sorority. At many schools, men and women go through NPC and NIC rush before they have even attended any classes - they are technically pre-freshmen.

When people "depledge" they are NOT initiated members. They are still in the process of pledging. Anyone who has been initiated into an NPC sorority and has their membership terminated or self-terminates may NOT join another NPC group ever. I won't speak for the NIC fraternities as their policies vary.

Hope that helped.

AlphaFrog · #11 12-19-2006, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RhoPsiDST

Can some just explain deferred recruitment to me? I am just in awe that your orgs let you "depledge" and even consider joining another.... I can believe you even think about doing it.

oh well, different strokes

NPC rush is not even close to being anything like NPHC intake.

It's like Chavez telling Bush that he can't believe that Bush is considering letting the American people elect another president.

Not comparing NPHC to a dictator and NPC to...well, whatever colorful way you want to describe Bush, of course...it was just the best example of two completely different systems I could think of.

breezydz · #12 12-19-2006, 02:18 PM

i just pm'ed you..

RhoPsiDST · #13 12-19-2006, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

NPC rush is not even close to being anything like NPHC intake.

It's like Chavez telling Bush that he can't believe that Bush is considering letting the American people elect another president.

Not comparing NPHC to a dictator and NPC to...well, whatever colorful way you want to describe Bush, of course...it was just the best example of two completely different systems I could think of.

lol... gotcha

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Deferred recruitment is when first semester freshmen are not allowed to pledge a fraternity or sorority. At many schools, men and women go through NPC and NIC rush before they have even attended any classes - they are technically pre-freshmen.

When people "depledge" they are NOT initiated members. They are still in the process of pledging. Anyone who has been initiated into an NPC sorority and has their membership terminated or self-terminates may NOT join another NPC group ever. I won't speak for the NIC fraternities as their policies vary.

Hope that helped.

thx!

TSteven · #14 12-19-2006, 06:43 PM

As for the NIC/IFC, it is pretty much the same as the NPC. The main difference is that if a member can be released by their inter/national office, then they are allowed to seek membership in another IFC/NIC fraternity.

Quote:

By-Laws of the North-American Interfraternity Conference

Section 1. Membership Requirements.

(3) Be mutually exclusive of and in competition with other general fraternities, meaning that no member fraternity shall initiate a member of another fraternity until such time as the second fraternity shall have been formally notified in writing by the national office of the first fraternity that a candidate for membership in the second fraternity is no longer regarded as a member of the fraternity.

reverie · #15 12-25-2006, 06:10 PM

I don't think it would be a huge problem. We had a girl in my chapter who did that and everything worked out in the end!!

Like everyone said, be honest and you'll do great!