Placing Blame

[ToBeSororityGrl]

Since I'm not in a sorority I can't begin to say how the whole rush thing works but here's what I've been thinking.

If there are only 4 groups with 2 PNMs on a active and all the rest are one-on-one why can't there be a trade off if there aren't enough actives to go around? Me and Suzie will talk one-on-one for 10 minutes and then another PNM would was one-on-one will talk as a 3 person group while another 3 person group could go invidiual for a few minutes? Does this make any clear sense? It just doesn't seem right when at least 90% of the PNMs were able to be open and freely talk one-on-one while the other 10% of us were trying to fight for time to talk. I would just think that maybe a little trade off would combat that. Start as a 3-person group then go to one-on-one and vice-versa.

I understand the whole lets see how potential new sisters can get along together, but when you are still in the stage of getting to know someone, it just makes things really complicated and difficult. I know that when I left that party a few girls had commented on how it made them feel being 2 on 1. Like me, they felt they hardly got to talk or say anything.

I realize that some actives were walking around passing out desserts but when I'd turn around it just seemed like 5-7 girls were standing around talking.

I'm not trying to be rude, just saying that if this situation can't be avoided there should be ways to make everyone feel special.

[doubleblue&gold]

It's not rude to question what you don't understand. Unfortunately, there's no way you can until you've lived it from both sides

Formal recruitment isn't perfect and it's not the only way. My group had more success in COB until this year when we almost doubled our numbers.

Also there are many times that there may be people on the floor that can't rush.....it depends on the rules from Panhellenic. While it may look like there are extras, they may be just there to look good number wise.

And no matter what my fellow GC's say, there is no way that everyone can feel special during formal recruitment. It would be nice but that's pretty idealistic. Also, we also can be devastated that women didn't return to our parties thaat we wanted to. There can be hurt and sadness on both sides.

I know that doesn't help you. Your next step is to decide whether you still have an interest and pursue it, or become involved on campus elsewhere. Good Luck, whatever you decide.

[doubleblue&gold]

It's not rude to question what you don't understand. Unfortunately, there's no way you can until you've lived it from both sides

Formal recruitment isn't perfect and it's not the only way. My group had more success in COB until this year when we almost doubled our numbers.

Also there are many times that there may be people on the floor that can't rush.....it depends on the rules from Panhellenic. While it may look like there are extras, they may be just there to look good number wise.

And no matter what my fellow GC's say, there is no way that everyone can feel special during formal recruitment. It would be nice but that's pretty idealistic. Also, we also can be devastated that women didn't return to our parties thaat we wanted to. There can be hurt and sadness on both sides.

I know that doesn't help you. Your next step is to decide whether you still have an interest and pursue it, or become involved on campus elsewhere. Good Luck, whatever you decide.

[FuzzieAlum]

Yeah, rushees will get hurt, but I think there are some kind of hurts we can prevent. Let's imagine you are a pretty undesirable rushee. Your grades are a 2.4, so you'll probably get cut for those. No activities. You redefine the word ugly, your clothes are hideous, you have no sense of humor, and you always talk too loud. Plus, you've got this BO problem.

So, right, you might feel like you don't belong at a rush party. You might be disappointed when you get cut. Those kind of hurts the chapter can't do much about (except by not cutting you).

BUT - the chapter still owes it to you to a) talk to you politely b) not make comments or make it obvious how they feel about you c) show you the same consideration during the party they would to any other rushee.

I actually knew a woman a lot like that who came to several pre-rush functions. She had a best friend who was a great woman and very desirable, and only she ended up rushing. But you can bet that when it came time for her to choose a house, she remembered with special consideration those that were kind to her friend!

[justamom]

The bottom line is-these young ladies are a GUEST in you HOME and should be treated as such. After all-YOU INVITED THEM!

TBSG-No one can know how YOU felt, so I will not even try to guess or comment on your particular experience. However, I think your rotation suggestion is worthy of a closer look.

Some points made in various posts-
Some girls ARE poor "rushers". Some rushers ARE horrid. I would bet in every chapter there is at least ONE that could eat those PNMs alive! God pity the PNM who gets stuck with her because NO girl could live up to her standards and she is sure to blast her during discussion. THAT's why rotation is so important.

Inexperience-Can't get around this one. This is equally difficult for the PNM because there's no way to be on if you're talking to a piece of wood.

It appears obvious from enna's,UGa, now TBSG's thread SOMETHING needs to improve! Whatever you can do inhouse should be a priority because getting anything changed on a bigger level may NEVER happen.

GC is as great a place as any for a girl to come seeking advice and support. I honestly feel in our efforts to present the positive, we gloss over the negative. Part of the problem is-by the time they find GC, it's too late to make any meaningful changes. Grades, activities and personalities (Bubble quality) are set in stone. I think WE should be careful too. When a PNM posts, "I don't know, the active and I just didn't click." I want to tell her-GET READY TO BE CUT. (That was the ONE thing my daughter always mentioned when she said she thought she would get cut.) If I said somethig like that,I'd be blasted!
We must openly admit to these young girls
that there IS an ugly/dirty side to rush, great girls get cut, YOU COULD TOO!