I'm a PNM who's kind of thinking of depledging...

[justgo_withit]

Well there are two different issues here, a. time conflict and b. concerned about your sorority's reputation. Some people's responses focus on just one of the issues, so don't think that someone telling you to stop being so judgy is saying so because of the time conflict or whatever.

As for a., what did you expect people to say? Mandatory meetings are mandatory, we can't change that. My NM class of 20 was able to find a time that worked for all of us, but if yours can't do that then they've got to go with the time that works best for everyone. Chapter is chapter and it's not going anywhere. None of us know if you can make the mandatory meetings not mandatory.

As for b., saying that you're worried because someone told you stuff is a lame reason to say your sisters are wild. And no actually, it's not hard to ignore a reputation when you take the time to get to know your sisters and then realize that it's completely wrong. Comments like "I don't know if I'm cut out to be a sister" don't make much sense because that could be for any number of reasons, spanning anywhere from "I'm secretly a guy" to "I don't want to put in the effort to create these bonds". We don't know you, we can't give you step-by-step instructions on what to do here.

This is the Internet. We only know as much as you put out there. So no, dropping a hint that you were happy to be wanted is not going to make most people go "this girl has low self esteem I should be really nice to her!!!" This isn't about you personally, posters have no idea who you are. There's a chance for each of us that you're talking badly about our sisters and that is something that is universally no bueno.

[IrishLake]

Something tells me that if the OP had indeed gotten a bid from her first choice, the conflicting schedule with church wouldn't be an issue. You can find a way to still be involved with church. New member meetings don't last forever, but chapter/sisterhood meetings are necessary. She had to have thought about that possibility when going through recruitment.

[ASUADPi]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Something tells me that if the OP had indeed gotten a bid from her first choice, the conflicting schedule with church wouldn't be an issue. You can find a way to still be involved with church. New member meetings don't last forever, but chapter/sisterhood meetings are necessary. She had to have thought about that possibility when going through recruitment.

I think you are right.

[SoCalGirl]

OP - Honestly, if you already know that your other activities will conflict with chapter meetings you should probably depledge now. I don't think it'll get easier once your a full sister and required at even more events than you would be as a new member. Many chapters fine sisters that miss require events. If your unhappy now, imagine having to shell out cash on top of everything.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Something tells me that if the OP had indeed gotten a bid from her first choice, the conflicting schedule with church wouldn't be an issue. You can find a way to still be involved with church. New member meetings don't last forever, but chapter/sisterhood meetings are necessary. She had to have thought about that possibility when going through recruitment.

I think you are right. Is it horrible that my opinion is that she should just go ahead and quit now, so that her sorority might be able to pick up a girl to fill her spot right away (hopefully a girl that actually wants it) and the new girl can be initiated right along with the rest of the new members?

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by kokopelli

I like how I made it pretty clear that I had self esteem issues and how great it felt to actually be wanted even when it wasn't my first choice, and everyone spends the rest of the thread saying "you're disgusting, they deserve better than you, quit now!" And you wonder why people don't have a good image of Greek life. Stay classy, ladies.
It's not even that I think I'm "better" than these women or I think they're some kind of harlots (but it's awesome that mentioning I was a Christian immediately made everyone think I was hardcore judging these girls for their personal decisions) - it's that I don't know if I can fit in with them, and I don't even know if I am cut out for Greek life as a whole. Less than 2% of my campus is Greek, and I'm just now understanding what I've really gotten myself into. I'm sure there are girls who would love to be in my spot, and if I did leave, maybe someone in COB would take my place who would immediately adore this chapter.
There is some great advice on here, and I'm seeing some of my sisters tomorrow, so I think I will bring up with the older girls that I have a lot of other commitments (my church isn't the only one) and I'm not sure if I can really devote myself here and see if they can help me out. We'll see how that, and my whole new member period, goes.
But really, thank you so much for all encouraging advice. I wasn't sure I was cut out for Greek life. Seeing some of the attitudes on here, maybe I'm just not.

To the OP: As DGTess suggested, I hope you can make it work.

The sisters of your new chapter chose to connect with you because you have qualities they require and respect. What you choose to give them in return as a sister is up to you.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by Cheerio

The sisters of your new chapter chose to connect with you because you have qualities they require and respect. What you choose to give them in return as a sister is up to you.

^^^This is said absolutely perfectly.