Legacies?

Widgetgirl · #1 10-18-2008, 02:22 PM

When I went through rush 26 years ago, being a lecacy meant that the sorority should make every effort to at least get to know you and that you would get invited back after the first day--if nothing else, just so that you were able to meet as many people as possible. I was reading on a sorority thread that most sororities still have that policy (and most will call the relative who was a member to let them know if the legacy is cut), but I was wondering about fraternities. My son is a legacy of a fraternity because of his father, and he went through rush this week at Ole Miss. He was cut by this particular fraternity after the first night, after he was only able to talk to two members. His father is trying to find out what happened (just like I will do if my girls are rejected from my sorority--or my mother's--after only one party). My son is a very good-looking kid, who is very athletic, with better than average grades. I'm very aware of how the greek system works (I was a "mega-legacy" to a sorority, and my mother was the president of her alumni group in her major city and was at the house when I went through rush), so I'm not just a mom who sees her son as a perfect kid. He has a beautiful girlfriend who is in a very popular sorority at Mississippi State, and he is on a full ARMY scholarship at Ole Miss (and we don't even live in MS). Is it possible that they are anti-military and just didn't like his buzzed hair?

His father has always financially supported his fraternity, and I have always supported my sorority, as well. His father is ready to saw his paddle in pieces and send it to his fraternity as his last financial gift to them over this. We would NEVER expect anyone to pledge him just because he is a legacy, but shouldn't he have been able to meet more than two people in the fraternity before he was cut? What are the rules these days regarding legacies in fraternities? Or maybe it just doesn't matter anymore.

I didn't mention the particular fraternity, because I wasn't sure if it was allowed. This is the first time I have seen this site, and I just joined it to see what I could find out.

Oh, and you may have noticed that I did not join the sorority that I was a "mega-legacy" of, but that was my choice. Honestly, I liked that the other sororities liked me for ME, not because of my mother. So, again, I do feel like both sides should have their choice, but I believe that my son should have been considered beyond the first night.

Sorry I rambled...just an upset and confused Ole Miss Mom...

CrackerBarrel · #2 10-18-2008, 02:58 PM

A lot of fraternities in the SEC only really care about legacies from their campus when it comes to giving bids, but normally you would get kept around for a while at least.

Ole Miss is not an anti-military school, and I don't think any of the top fraternities would be at all. At the same time rushing at Ole Miss from out of state (other than Texas and Alabama kids) is tough. Did his dad send a letter to the house before rush letting them know that he was a legacy and to watch out for him during rush? If not they may have just cut most of their out-of-state kids without putting it together that he was a legacy.

Elephant Walk · #3 10-18-2008, 03:05 PM

While I can't tell you specifically why your son was cut... some of the supposed "positives" that you mentioned are actually negatives in Ole Miss rush. Furthermore, a legacy doesn't mean jack unless the alumni is of said-chapter/gives money to the said chapter.

ROTC Scholarship - We sometimes take kids from the ROTC, but often they have their own "new brothers" and not alot of time for fraternity pledging

Out of State - Not good, whatsoever. Especially if the legacy isn't from the Ole Miss chapter. Germantown is close enough and I know there are plenty of Memphis kids at Miss, but it still doesn't help.

My fraternity has no policy on calling the fathers of legacies of any sort or doing anything. It's unfortunate but he should continue rush and look into other houses.

Widgetgirl · #4 10-18-2008, 03:23 PM

Thank you for the info. I guess fraternities ARE a lot different from sororities, as with sororities, it doesn't matter about being from out of state OR if the alum was from that particular school--even now, I know that much is true.

I understand what you are saying about the ROTC thing, too, but since he comes from a very long "greek line", and has heard about the greek system all his life, he was very interested. So, I guess that fraternity will just miss out on someone who would have been a great asset to them in many ways. They must not care about intramural sports anymore like they did when I was in school, or he would have been a shoe-in!! lol

Thanks again for the responses!

gee_ess · #5 10-18-2008, 08:49 PM

Widgetgirl - I am sorry things didn't work out for your son! I know it is tough now, but I imagine it will work out in the long run.

I am going to stick my nose into this thread, though, and give you a "heads up" since I read in your OP that you have daughter(s) who may be going through rush in the future. In the south, at schools with what is considered a competitive rush, (Ole Miss, Arkansas, etc) it definitely DOES matter if you daughter is from out of state. It does not mean that she won't get a bid, but it is definitely a factor. Also, no one will call the legacy connection of a rushee to explain if/why her daughter gets cut. That is actually not allowed by in the rules of recruitment.

I have a daughter (two, in fact) so I completely understand your position on this issue. I encourage you to read the archived recruitment threads on GC for info regarding NPC recruitment to get ready for your daughters rush. The help will be invaluable.

Elephant Walk · #6 10-19-2008, 12:07 AM

I just wanna know if I have by-chance dated your daughter...

Widgetgirl · #7 10-19-2008, 03:35 PM

I understand what you are saying about it being important to be from the state of the school you are trying to pledge at schools like Ole Miss, but I was talking about the legacy policy of the fraternities and sororities, not just someone going through rush.

I know the thread I was reading on here was in 2001, but the legacy policy (a legacy has to be invited to at least one invitational party and if they go to the preference party, they have to be at the top of the bid list, etc.) seemed to still be in effect for AGD, DG, Alpha Phi, AOII, Chi Omega, Tri Delta, AEPhi, and DPhiEpsilon.

Some of those also said that the relative DID have to be called if the legacy was released (sometimes it has to be by an advisor and sometimes it has to be BEFORE the next invitational party).

I spoke to my Kappa Delta friend, and she said they had to "jump through hoops" at LSU if they wanted to cut a legacy (basically EVERYONE up to the top of the sorority had to be in on the decision).

My mother (yes, I know that would have been a LONG time ago) also remembers having to call mothers, sisters, and grandmothers and tell them why their relative was cut. I'll have to contact my sorority (Sigma Kappa) to see what their policy is now, but when I was there, legacies did count!

So, again, I still say that fraternities must have different rules regarding how they handle legacies.

Oh, and thank you for the info, though, about my girls. At least one of them DOES want to go to Ole Miss, and since they would not be a legacy of any of the sororities there, the out-of-state thing is very important for them to know before going through rush.

gee_ess · #8 10-19-2008, 05:15 PM

I imagine fraternities do have a different set of rules...hopefully some of the above posters were of some help with that.

Regarding the notification of the relative of the released legacy, I would be very surprised to see that it is still in effect, but I cannot speak for Sigma Kappa. I guess that is something that nationals could tell you or maybe it is determined on a chapter by chapter basis. It would be interesting to find out...

jarred66 · #9 10-19-2008, 07:32 PM

widgetgirl...did u go to LSU?

CarolinaCutie · #10 10-19-2008, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Widgetgirl

I understand what you are saying about it being important to be from the state of the school you are trying to pledge at schools like Ole Miss, but I was talking about the legacy policy of the fraternities and sororities, not just someone going through rush.

I know the thread I was reading on here was in 2001, but the legacy policy (a legacy has to be invited to at least one invitational party and if they go to the preference party, they have to be at the top of the bid list, etc.) seemed to still be in effect for AGD, DG, Alpha Phi, AOII, Chi Omega, Tri Delta, AEPhi, and DPhiEpsilon.

Some of those also said that the relative DID have to be called if the legacy was released (sometimes it has to be by an advisor and sometimes it has to be BEFORE the next invitational party).

I spoke to my Kappa Delta friend, and she said they had to "jump through hoops" at LSU if they wanted to cut a legacy (basically EVERYONE up to the top of the sorority had to be in on the decision).

My mother (yes, I know that would have been a LONG time ago) also remembers having to call mothers, sisters, and grandmothers and tell them why their relative was cut. I'll have to contact my sorority (Sigma Kappa) to see what their policy is now, but when I was there, legacies did count!

So, again, I still say that fraternities must have different rules regarding how they handle legacies.

Oh, and thank you for the info, though, about my girls. At least one of them DOES want to go to Ole Miss, and since they would not be a legacy of any of the sororities there, the out-of-state thing is very important for them to know before going through rush.

At schools like Ole Miss, there are so many legacies going through recruitment that the entire pledge class could be made up of them. Girls who are legacies have to be cut, even if they are given extra consideration in the process. To update you on Phi Mu policy, we no longer allow chapter members/advisors to contact the sister in question in regards to her legacy's recruitment status. This is an issue of privacy for the potential member. I think many of the NPC sororities have changed to this policy since 2001.

But as to the fraternity legacy policies, I can't speak to that. Did your son continue rushing other fraternities, or did he give up on the idea of going Greek for this year?

CrackerBarrel · #11 10-19-2008, 08:37 PM

I don't know specifically at Ole Miss, but at most SEC schools for the good houses we have the vast majority of our pledge class all but locked in before rush starts. We do take some guys that we meet for the first time during rush week. Meeting the guys in the summer before rush parties is a big deal and you're behind in the game if you weren't there for the summer.

gee_ess · #12 10-19-2008, 09:33 PM

Just a question, Cracker Barrel and Elephant Walk -

For guys who come in from out of state, and don't get a bid during formal because of all of the summer rushing, etc. How do sophomores do who wait and get to know some of the guys on campus their freshman year? Or are there spring pledge classes that fill up with those guys?

CrackerBarrel · #13 10-19-2008, 10:05 PM

Spring classes will tend to be easier for out-of-state guys. And we obviously take way more freshman than sophomores, but guys who had trouble from not being there the summer before their freshman year can get bids if they're guys who you see at the bars, meet in classes/other clubs or stuff, or were in town and did a lot of the summer stuff.

Elephant Walk · #14 10-19-2008, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gee_ess

Just a question, Cracker Barrel and Elephant Walk -

For guys who come in from out of state, and don't get a bid during formal because of all of the summer rushing, etc. How do sophomores do who wait and get to know some of the guys on campus their freshman year? Or are there spring pledge classes that fill up with those guys?

I'm having a bit of a trouble reading it...

like sophomore transfers, who miss all the summer rush?

I don't know, we've had a few sophomore transfers do spring, but most kind of give up or figure they're too old to try and party at a fraternity house when they aren't freshman. In the years I've been with the fraternity, we've only had one and he knew guys in the house when he transferred here.

sceniczip · #15 10-19-2008, 10:41 PM

this was my first year doing formal recruitment but from what I understood and was told, we have to jump through hoops to cut a legacy as well. And I was told that they had to contact the relative of the legacy as well. But again, this was just what I was told and so cannot guarantee that it is true.