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  #31  
Old 08-09-2010, 06:55 PM
Drolefille Drolefille is offline
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Originally Posted by knight_shadow View Post
I just saw this, since the OP bumped this thread.

I guess it's just another "us vs. them" thing. We were taught that membership is national and that your loyalty lies with the organization, not necessarily the chapter. I'm just amazed at how many times this question comes up.
We're taught that too, but I just think some people are naive. And since you join the NPC early and THEN learn these things vs learning a lot to even be considered to join other orgs, that's the us vs. them part, I think.
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  #32  
Old 08-09-2010, 07:00 PM
honeyD honeyD is offline
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haha never said it was a bad rule and once again never said I would actually do it. I just want more information on Greek life, the rules, and process, since clearly I did not understand to begin with. Thanks for you kind feed back Knight Shadow.
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  #33  
Old 08-09-2010, 07:03 PM
Alumiyum Alumiyum is offline
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Originally Posted by honeyD View Post
never said I would actually do it....just curious.....maybe the rules should change since apparently this question gets brought up so many times, or better awarness of this rule should be made to girls before pledging. Alot of girls who are in this situation never fully understood the rules in the first place because all the NPC and greek terms are hard to understand and the girl just wants to pledge and be in the sorority and get it all over with anyway...remember when you were a freshmen and pledged??? Also most girls in this tranfer situation just want a way to have that "college experience" of fitting in some where and making friends easily who are like them. It would be hard to all the sudden just start/colonize a new sorority especially since your knew to the school, have no friends, and dont know your way around and dont know much about greek life anyway (and dont have much time to learn im only 18). Also im not sure most girls want to join different kinds of clubs for instance, something in there major, or habitat for humanity or something like that. Those are great things to be apart of but not the type of "experience and belonging" a young girl really wants be apart of coming to a new school. A sorority is just a really easy way to meet girls your age younger and older, feel apart of the school, and have friends for life and have something to be loyal to. Im not just trying to use a sorority to get a way to meet new friends, a sorority is just a great thing to be apart of in college. (Im not sure habitat for humanity or another local club or you know what i mean can really give the girl what she is looking for in her new college experience). Like I said those things are great and admiral things to be apart of but do not include the whole package.
You've given the impression that you are seriously considering it. I hope you don't, but of course that's all up to you.

I do remember being a new member very well because it was all very exciting. I remember being told and knowing that were I to be initiated, that was it. I chose to do that and have never considered breaking that promise. As you have said you have family members that are greek, and have been initiated, you really should know this. A college freshman shouldn't be expected to know everything that a graduate does, but it's time to get some gumption and learn the rules for yourself. That's a member's responsibility. If I go 70 in a 35 and tell the police officer I didn't know the speed limit was 35, he's still going to give me a ticket, because ignorance of the law doesn't give me the right to break it.

I have many friends who are also sorority sisters that I value very much, but I have just as many if not more that are not. You can develop close bonds with or without the sorority, and since your choices now are to be dishonest or develop close friendships outside of your sorority, I would personally suggest that second option. I really do think you can meet new friends and make great memories even without your chapter being on campus. It really sucks that you don't get to be an active for four years, but sometimes we get thrown into situations like that.
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  #34  
Old 08-09-2010, 07:24 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Originally Posted by honeyD View Post
never said I would actually do it....just curious.....maybe the rules should change since apparently this question gets brought up so many times, or better awarness of this rule should be made to girls before pledging. Alot of girls who are in this situation never fully understood the rules in the first place because all the NPC and greek terms are hard to understand and the girl just wants to pledge and be in the sorority and get it all over with anyway...remember when you were a freshmen and pledged??? Also most girls in this tranfer situation just want a way to have that "college experience" of fitting in some where and making friends easily who are like them. It would be hard to all the sudden just start/colonize a new sorority especially since your knew to the school, have no friends, and dont know your way around and dont know much about greek life anyway (and dont have much time to learn im only 18). Also im not sure most girls want to join different kinds of clubs for instance, something in there major, or habitat for humanity or something like that. Those are great things to be apart of but not the type of "experience and belonging" a young girl really wants be apart of coming to a new school. A sorority is just a really easy way to meet girls your age younger and older, feel apart of the school, and have friends for life and have something to be loyal to. Im not just trying to use a sorority to get a way to meet new friends, a sorority is just a great thing to be apart of in college. (Im not sure habitat for humanity or another local club or you know what i mean can really give the girl what she is looking for in her new college experience). Like I said those things are great and admiral things to be apart of but do not include the whole package.
That's all well and good but it does not change the rule.
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  #35  
Old 08-09-2010, 08:10 PM
agzg agzg is offline
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I want to take part in all these admiral things.

honeyD, obviously I was never a NM in your chapter but in mine it was very clearly and explicitly stated (from day 1) that, upon initiation, a woman may not join any other NPC or NPHC organization. If you feel you didn't know that, you should talk to your sisters at your former campus and make sure that they emphasize that in the future.
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  #36  
Old 08-09-2010, 08:33 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by honeyD View Post
never said I would actually do it....just curious.....maybe the rules should change since apparently this question gets brought up so many times, or better awareness of this rule should be made to girls before pledging. A lot of girls who are in this situation never fully understood the rules in the first place because all the NPC and greek terms are hard to understand and the girl just wants to pledge and be in the sorority and get it all over with anyway...remember when you were a freshmen and pledged??? Also most girls in this tranfer situation just want a way to have that "college experience" of fitting in some where and making friends easily who are like them. It would be hard to all the sudden just start/colonize a new sorority especially since your knew to the school, have no friends, and dont know your way around and dont know much about greek life anyway (and dont have much time to learn im only 18). Also im not sure most girls want to join different kinds of clubs for instance, something in there major, or habitat for humanity or something like that. Those are great things to be apart of but not the type of "experience and belonging" a young girl really wants be apart of coming to a new school. A sorority is just a really easy way to meet girls your age younger and older, feel apart of the school, and have friends for life and have something to be loyal to. Im not just trying to use a sorority to get a way to meet new friends, a sorority is just a great thing to be apart of in college. (Im not sure habitat for humanity or another local club or you know what i mean can really give the girl what she is looking for in her new college experience). Like I said those things are great and admiral things to be apart of but do not include the whole package.
First off, the phrases are spelled A LOT and A PART. See the big bar at the bottom of your keyboard? It isn't there for decoration. And this isn't texting so you don't have to limit your characters. Please practice writing/typing like an educated adult.

As for the rest of your post -

No, I didn't "just want to pledge and get it over with." I enjoyed every minute of my pledge time. If you didn't, maybe you should have quit before you were initiated and you wouldn't be in this predicament.

Financial aid terms are also "hard to understand." But I guarantee you that if you default on your student loan "not understanding" isn't going to get you any sympathy.

I don't think it's just that this (i.e. you cannot join another NPC once you initiate into one) isn't being taught to the pledges...I think it's a generational loss of the overall concept of loyalty.
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  #37  
Old 08-09-2010, 08:46 PM
ThetaPrincess24 ThetaPrincess24 is offline
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Originally Posted by honeyD View Post
Clearly I understand the rules now, thankyou. But hypothetically speaking, If I were to rush at my new college how would they find out that I have been in a sorority at my previous college????
As a recruitment/membership/panhellenic advisor I would strongly advise against that.

We had a girl already this summer sign up for recruitment at the school I advise. She was a transfer student from another school in the state and was greek there. She signed up for recruitment at the school I advise, I caught that, let the greek advisor at my school know (who was also an alum from the transfer school), she contacted the greek advisor at that school, found out she wasnt a member of a group on my campus trying to affiliate, and she has since been booted from recruitment.

If you do this and you are found out, you will lose membership in BOTH organizations. NPC/NPHC groups dont look kindly on "sorority perps!"
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  #38  
Old 08-09-2010, 08:53 PM
ThetaPrincess24 ThetaPrincess24 is offline
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Originally Posted by knight_shadow View Post
*side-sidebar: Who gets access to the Green Book? Is this something given to each NM? Each chapter? Each local Panhellenic?
My organization makes the entire/most current NPC Manual available to all members in the passworded section of our website. I'm sure other organizations out there have a similar means of getting the information to their members.

In addition, I would think all groups have their national constitution & bylaws online somewhere for all initiated members to have access to. I would also think that all new members once initiated would get a hard copy of their org's national constitution & bylaws, plus a copy of the chapter's bylaws as well.
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  #39  
Old 08-09-2010, 09:02 PM
Alumiyum Alumiyum is offline
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Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
First off, the phrases are spelled A LOT and A PART. See the big bar at the bottom of your keyboard? It isn't there for decoration. And this isn't texting so you don't have to limit your characters. Please practice writing/typing like an educated adult.

As for the rest of your post -

No, I didn't "just want to pledge and get it over with." I enjoyed every minute of my pledge time. If you didn't, maybe you should have quit before you were initiated and you wouldn't be in this predicament.

Financial aid terms are also "hard to understand." But I guarantee you that if you default on your student loan "not understanding" isn't going to get you any sympathy.

I don't think it's just that this (i.e. you cannot join another NPC once you initiate into one) isn't being taught to the pledges...I think it's a generational loss of the overall concept of loyalty.
I disagree that it's a generational thing. I think it's a personal problem.

Since the OP said that many family members are Greek and would therefore know the ins and outs of Greek life, I think it's likely that this rule was probably not actually news...just a major inconvenience.

To the OP, another solution to your problem would be to get involved with local young alums of your sorority in your area. I know of women that transferred from my alma mater and did this so that they could still enjoy the organization, even though we were not present on their new campus. There are plenty of ways to experience your organization other than as an active collegian. You could also see if there is a group on your new campus for other displaced Greeks, or ask the Greek Advisor on campus if it would be possible to start one. That way fraternity and sorority members in the same position could have a way to bond and friends to hang out with and sympathize. And every now and then when you have time and gas money you could meet up with your pledge sisters. It might be fun, if it's possible, to pick a town in between the two schools and hang out together on a Saturday. (That was another solution of sorority sisters of mine that transferred.)
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  #40  
Old 08-09-2010, 09:04 PM
Alumiyum Alumiyum is offline
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Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24 View Post
My organization makes the entire/most current NPC Manual available to all members in the passworded section of our website. I'm sure other organizations out there have a similar means of getting the information to their members.

In addition, I would think all groups have their national constitution & bylaws online somewhere for all initiated members to have access to. I would also think that all new members once initiated would get a hard copy of their org's national constitution & bylaws, plus a copy of the chapter's bylaws as well.
Unfortunately, that's not always the case. However, even if members are not provided with these documents, someone in the chapter has them. It would surely be as easy as asking the chapter president for a copy, or an appointment time to read over the documents. It just takes a little asking, and a tiny bit of effort.
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  #41  
Old 08-09-2010, 09:13 PM
honeyD honeyD is offline
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Thankyou for the spelling tips.

I am glad you enjoyed every minute of your pledge time. I did as well but it was all a blur. It was scary and exciting but hard to keep all the facts and papers and everything you were told and given all in order, when in the end all you wanted to do was hurry up and become apart of it!

I am not looking for any sympathy.

True lack of loyalty could be a problem but when something happens in a persons life and they have to transfer and they need a way to make the best of their situation how bad is it to put your loyality to a different sorority? You will always keep a place for the sorority you were in but your new college does not have your old sorority..........and trying to become buds with a bunch of older women in your alumni group or whatever does not sound like that were you want to put your time and effort into.

Lets say you were in a sorority you loved at your college and everything was great!!! but your mom suddenly out of no where coming home from dropping your younger brother off at a bday party on a tuesday night dies by a drunk driver..... and you have to transfer to a huge new college closer to home and because of money issues. And the only way you feel any better about going to a new college and having to start over is if you were to join the sorority your mom was in and be able to meet a group of girls right away and feel apart of something again...............what would you do??wouldent trying to join another sorority possibly cross your mind, especially if you could get deactivated from your previous sorority and your name off the books?
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  #42  
Old 08-09-2010, 09:19 PM
Psi U MC Vito Psi U MC Vito is offline
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Originally Posted by honeyD View Post
Thankyou for the spelling tips.

I am glad you enjoyed every minute of your pledge time. I did as well but it was all a blur. It was scary and exciting but hard to keep all the facts and papers and everything you were told and given all in order, when in the end all you wanted to do was hurry up and become apart of it!

I am not looking for any sympathy.

True lack of loyalty could be a problem but when something happens in a persons life and they have to transfer and they need a way to make the best of their situation how bad is it to put your loyality to a different sorority? You will always keep a place for the sorority you were in but your new college does not have your old sorority..........and trying to become buds with a bunch of older women in your alumni group or whatever does not sound like that were you want to put your time and effort into.

Lets say you were in a sorority you loved at your college and everything was great!!! but your mom suddenly out of no where coming home from dropping your younger brother off at a bday party on a tuesday night dies by a drunk driver..... and you have to transfer to a huge new college closer to home and because of money issues. And the only way you feel any better about going to a new college and having to start over is if you were to join the sorority your mom was in and be able to meet a group of girls right away and feel apart of something again...............what would you do??wouldent trying to join another sorority possibly cross your mind, especially if you could get deactivated from your previous sorority and your name off the books?
You seriously don't see how this is being disloyal? And I have a newsflash for you. MEMBERSHIP IS FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #43  
Old 08-09-2010, 09:23 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Originally Posted by honeyD View Post
Thankyou for the spelling tips.

I am glad you enjoyed every minute of your pledge time. I did as well but it was all a blur. It was scary and exciting but hard to keep all the facts and papers and everything you were told and given all in order, when in the end all you wanted to do was hurry up and become apart of it!

I am not looking for any sympathy.

True lack of loyalty could be a problem but when something happens in a persons life and they have to transfer and they need a way to make the best of their situation how bad is it to put your loyality to a different sorority? You will always keep a place for the sorority you were in but your new college does not have your old sorority..........and trying to become buds with a bunch of older women in your alumni group or whatever does not sound like that were you want to put your time and effort into.

Lets say you were in a sorority you loved at your college and everything was great!!! but your mom suddenly out of no where coming home from dropping your younger brother off at a bday party on a tuesday night dies by a drunk driver..... and you have to transfer to a huge new college closer to home and because of money issues. And the only way you feel any better about going to a new college and having to start over is if you were to join the sorority your mom was in and be able to meet a group of girls right away and feel apart of something again...............what would you do??wouldent trying to join another sorority possibly cross your mind, especially if you could get deactivated from your previous sorority and your name off the books?
You can suggest whatever fictitious special circumstances you want.

It doesn't matter what I would do because I know that I was told as a new member what there are no exceptions to the rule.

There are NO exceptions.

None.

No there are no loopholes.

No there are no higher-ups for you to complain to and try to get a different answer.

The answer is no.

My goodness.

I honestly do not know what you are looking for us to tell you.



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  #44  
Old 08-09-2010, 09:29 PM
Alumiyum Alumiyum is offline
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Originally Posted by honeyD View Post
Thankyou for the spelling tips.

I am glad you enjoyed every minute of your pledge time. I did as well but it was all a blur. It was scary and exciting but hard to keep all the facts and papers and everything you were told and given all in order, when in the end all you wanted to do was hurry up and become apart of it!

I am not looking for any sympathy.

True lack of loyalty could be a problem but when something happens in a persons life and they have to transfer and they need a way to make the best of their situation how bad is it to put your loyality to a different sorority? You will always keep a place for the sorority you were in but your new college does not have your old sorority..........and trying to become buds with a bunch of older women in your alumni group or whatever does not sound like that were you want to put your time and effort into.

Lets say you were in a sorority you loved at your college and everything was great!!! but your mom suddenly out of no where coming home from dropping your younger brother off at a bday party on a tuesday night dies by a drunk driver..... and you have to transfer to a huge new college closer to home and because of money issues. And the only way you feel any better about going to a new college and having to start over is if you were to join the sorority your mom was in and be able to meet a group of girls right away and feel apart of something again...............what would you do??wouldent trying to join another sorority possibly cross your mind, especially if you could get deactivated from your previous sorority and your name off the books?
You promise to remain loyal to one organization and if you break that promise, that's dishonest. It's your prerogative, but I do think that if it meant little the first time around, a new sorority won't mean very much, either. Many, many women (and men) are in your same position. Some do try to sneak into a new organization. When they are caught they lose membership in both organizations and likely lose many friends during that process. It's unfortunate. It sucks. I'm sorry you're in that position. But you're probably not going to get any support for choosing to join a different sorority than the one you've already promised to remain loyal to. Being "deactivated" or quitting will not make it "ok" to join another sorority. You will still be in trouble if you are caught, and it is still a disloyal action to take.

I truly believe that is not the only thing that will make you happy. If you do choose to attempt to join a different sorority, you don't need validation from an internet forum. You decide if it's worth the risk. It is against the rules, period. There is no other answer.
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  #45  
Old 08-09-2010, 09:30 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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I'm sure that there are people who could join 2 groups because of extenuating circumstances and do it respectfully. However, they've been far outweighed by the people who DON'T do it respectfully.

I haven't seen anything in any of your posts where you say that you would discuss this with your sisters from your first college, or that they feel bad that you are in the situation you're in, or that you would like to keep them as friends even if there was a way you could terminate your membership in the sorority. You just keep yammering on about "a sorority is the best way to meet girls your age."

You just want to kick the women who offered you sisterhood and friendship to the curb because it's inconvenient for you. Sorry, but even if you could do this, from what you've written, I don't think you'd deserve that chance.

p.s. It's not guaranteed that you would get a bid to your mother's sorority, or ANY sorority, at your new school.
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