What happens when you break up? - Page 2

thetakates2 · #16 10-02-2005, 10:56 PM

Thanks guys, I'm sorry to those people that said they couldn't be friends with their ex but I really think that Marc and I will be able to work it out. But who knows. But right now I have cut myself off from him. Although I have seen his screen name online and am constantly checking to see how long he has been on but hell its only been a week!! haha. But I am actually throwing myself into a new kind of job and going to try to start working out more because hell if we do end up getting back together I want him to be jealous of what he is missing! But I am giving myself time to be away. If he needs me he knows where to find me!

Thanks for the advice everyone it is nice to have a strangers advice and not my moms and roommates anymore....because I love them to death but they are only so much comfort.

RedRoseSAI · #17 10-02-2005, 11:06 PM

Delete his number from your phone, and delete his AIM name from your buddy list. If you ever really need them, you'll be able to get them from someone else. For now, it's too painful and too much temptation.

James · #18 10-03-2005, 02:53 AM

There is no good break ups really.

Thats what sucks about them.

Being involved with someone you really like is quite a high. Its like doing adrug. If the feelings fade in intensity, like they do for most people, and lands you into the "comfort zone" of most relationships, you lose the high, but you suffer pain if you are deprived of that person.

Anyway, the recovery is very similar to escaping a negative addiction.

ITs a watiing situation. You know you won't die. You know you are going to hurt for a while, and you know you the pain will grow less over time.

Your mission is to totally avoid the person/addiction as well as take care of yourself.

Make sure you sleep at least 8 hours, drink plenty of water, eat regularly, and excercise.

Remove the person from your aim list, and screen all calls . . . I can hear you resisting . . but would you leave Crack in your kitchen if you were trying to quit?

And also make the conscious decision its over and act accordingly.

ITS OVER. NO CONTACT. Every time you have contact its like doing a line of cocaine . . it makes it really hard to quit and starts the whole recovery process over.

When I res your post about thinking about getting back together . . well thats not the way to get over someone . . thats like fantasizing about doing crack this weekend after telling all of us you quit.

Just say no to Crack.

If you talk to him at all in the first month or so . . you deserve pain.

UKDaisy · #19 10-03-2005, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James

If you talk to him at all in the first month or so . . you deserve pain.

James, I love you

Lindz928 · #20 10-03-2005, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by UKDaisy
James, I love you

Agreed, James was right on with this one. I think it is POSSIBLE to be friends with an ex, but you have to GIVE IT TIME first! You have to have at least a few months where you don't have any contact what so ever.

My ex and I tried to force the friendship thing for about 4 months right after we broke up. It was a disaster. So, I said goodbye and deleted him from everything. Then, about 6 or 8 months later, he called me to say happy birthday, and we have been friends since then.

Lindz928 · #21 10-03-2005, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by so damn cool
What about the rest of the guys on the football team?

Not football team.... Fraternity brothers. And I wouldn't recommend that either.

If you are determined to sleep with someone just to piss him off, you have to go for that hot guy that he absolutely hates. But, you also have to realize that when you do this, yeah it will hurt him and piss him off, but it will also ruin any chance of a friendship for the future. He will hate you.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #22 10-03-2005, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BobbyTheDon
do you have any guy friends? i mean like, cool guy friends? homies? let your guy friends take you out. screw girl friends. your girlfriends will just be like, " nah uh girl friend, whah whah...well he probably has a small dick" blah blah.

your guy friends will take you out to paaaartay. and you guys can rock out to some awesome 80s head bangin music. one of my girl friends got out a bad relationship recently. i told her that her new song was White Snake - " here I go again". she loves it. it pumps her up. she rocks out to it every morning while gettin ready for work.

This is adorable. And there's no dick joke in the whole thing!

Oh wait.

texas*princess · #23 10-03-2005, 07:58 PM

James,

I have to admit, I really like your drug analogy, because it's so true.

The last guy I dated was a loooong relationship... but it was one of those on-again-off-again ones. We were usually "on" more than off, and after our last breakup that lasted about 6 months (which was a record for us), we got back together.

This latest instance though, I told myself time and time again, "I can't relapse... I can't relapse". He was like a drug. I knew he was bad for me, but I wanted to go back anyway. Unfortunately they don't have an Ex-Boyfriend Patch that will help you ease your way to quitting, so I had to quit cold-turkey.

No calls, no emails, no nothing.

princessnerdy · #24 10-14-2005, 12:43 AM

cold turkey is the way to go. It took my ex moving back to TX (away from IL) and then declaring no email, no IM, no phone...nothing. It was a 2.5 year relationship and anything that has been going on for a long time just can't handle the strain of "maybe we can be friends". It's called a break up because something was broke...and it probably can't be fixed.