If you could do it again...RE: Clothing

[ColdInCanada11]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

I *need* that dress. Please, please tell me where it came from.

The green dress with the navy print? It's an Oasis piece!

[mom2ee]

okay PLEASE help this PNM momma out and not only give me the dresses, but the web site to order. down to the wire and precious angel daughter wont worry about clothes!

[WhiteRose1912]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

I *need* that dress. Please, please tell me where it came from.

It doesn't appear to be for sale on their website anymore. Like ColdInCanada said, it's by Oasis--specifically, Oasis Lace Tile Print Dress. If you're willing to pay for overseas shipping, it's available here. I really like the peach version:

[ColdInCanada11]

Originally Posted by WhiteRose1912

It doesn't appear to be for sale on their website anymore. Like ColdInCanada said, it's by Oasis--specifically, Oasis Lace Tile Print Dress. If you're willing to pay for overseas shipping, it's available here. I really like the peach version:

Fyi, I know people who have ordered the dress in other colours, and while it looks nice the material feels quite cheap. However, it really depends on what you want the dress for.

[TNAuburnMom]

Originally Posted by mom2ee

okay PLEASE help this PNM momma out and not only give me the dresses, but the web site to order. down to the wire and precious angel daughter wont worry about clothes!

I think you are about to the point that ordering will not give you enough time in case it does not fit. You might just have to drag her to the mall.

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by mom2ee

okay PLEASE help this PNM momma out and not only give me the dresses, but the web site to order. down to the wire and precious angel daughter wont worry about clothes!

Not to pry, but if she doesn't even want to put in the effort to find clothes for recruitment, does she REALLY want to go through, or is she being pressured into trying it? If she actually does want to be in a sorority, she needs a major reality check. Recruitment requires some effort put in, as does sorority life in general. Those recruitment skits don't appear out of thin air, greek week doesn't win itself, and initiation doesn't just happen! If she's not willing to put in the time, does she really want to be there?

[ColdInCanada11]

Originally Posted by FleurGirl

Not to pry, but if she doesn't even want to put in the effort to find clothes for recruitment, does she REALLY want to go through, or is she being pressured into trying it? If she actually does want to be in a sorority, she needs a major reality check. Recruitment requires some effort put in, as does sorority life in general. Those recruitment skits don't appear out of thin air, greek week doesn't win itself, and initiation doesn't just happen! If she's not willing to put in the time, does she really want to be there?

Co-sign on this. She's an adult going to university. It is not THAT difficult to find clothes if you allow the proper amount of time. Are you going to fly in and do everything for her every single time something needs to be done?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by FleurGirl

Not to pry, but if she doesn't even want to put in the effort to find clothes for recruitment, does she REALLY want to go through, or is she being pressured into trying it? If she actually does want to be in a sorority, she needs a major reality check. Recruitment requires some effort put in, as does sorority life in general. Those recruitment skits don't appear out of thin air, greek week doesn't win itself, and initiation doesn't just happen! If she's not willing to put in the time, does she really want to be there?

Or, alternatively, she feels that she doesn't want to join an organization that will judge her so much on her looks, and feels that putting in more effort now than she would as a pledge is counterproductive for everyone involved.

[ColdInCanada11]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Or, alternatively, she feels that she doesn't want to join an organization that will judge her so much on her looks, and feels that putting in more effort now than she would as a pledge is counterproductive for everyone involved.

I think that there is a correlation between recruitment and the type of Greek life you would experience after. For example, you can wear jeans and a t-shirt for all three open rounds, and a nice skirt and top for preference at my school- a casual, laid back school (There are about 100 Greeks/27,000 students). We don't have homecoming, we have two formals a year, there are 3 mixers/exchanges with fraternities a term, everything is at someone's house (we're unhoused here). However, at bigger schools where there is a very specific dress code (ie. Shorts and shirt on day one, sundress on day two, etc), Greek life tends to be more involved. There are most likely far more mixers, semi-formals, Greek week, etc. Therefore, she's probably going to have to be more conscious of dress codes anyways.

This has been said a million times, but people will judge you on your appearance. It in no way means that you have to spend 3 hours a day getting ready, it just means that you have to figure out what makes you look put together.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ColdInCanada11

I think that there is a correlation between recruitment and the type of Greek life you would experience after. For example, you can wear jeans and a t-shirt for all three open rounds, and a nice skirt and top for preference at my school- a casual, laid back school (There are about 100 Greeks/27,000 students). We don't have homecoming, we have two formals a year, there are 3 mixers/exchanges with fraternities a term, everything is at someone's house (we're unhoused here). However, at bigger schools where there is a very specific dress code (ie. Shorts and shirt on day one, sundress on day two, etc), Greek life tends to be more involved. There are most likely far more mixers, semi-formals, Greek week, etc. Therefore, she's probably going to have to be more conscious of dress codes anyways.

This has been said a million times, but people will judge you on your appearance. It in no way means that you have to spend 3 hours a day getting ready, it just means that you have to figure out what makes you look put together.

Agreed on all points, but it also varies from chapter to chapter. If a girl is not one to dress up often, then it doesn't make sense for her to dress up for recruitment and end up in a chapter where she is not a good fit.

[Sciencewoman]

To look at it from a different angle, I loved clothes, but I HATED shopping with my mom when I was that age. She'd always go for the sale-price item, even if I hated it, just because it was on sale; she'd find something else to go try on that she spotted while we were checking out, etc. She'd stay in the store for 8 hours if she could. It could be a case of that...daughter is showing her independent side before she heads off to college. I bought everything on my own once I got to college...there was a darling boutique right by campus, and the ladies there were really helpful.

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Or, alternatively, she feels that she doesn't want to join an organization that will judge her so much on her looks, and feels that putting in more effort now than she would as a pledge is counterproductive for everyone involved.

That's sort of like saying you don't feel like looking for nice clothes for your job interview, because you don't want them to hire you based on your looks. However, in both scenarios you have a very brief period to make a good impression, and someone who looks like they've invested some energy into making themselves presentable will win out every time. It's more about putting your best foot forward and showing off your best self than being judged solely on appearance.

[TNAuburnMom]

Originally Posted by FleurGirl

Not to pry, but if she doesn't even want to put in the effort to find clothes for recruitment, does she REALLY want to go through, or is she being pressured into trying it? If she actually does want to be in a sorority, she needs a major reality check. Recruitment requires some effort put in, as does sorority life in general. Those recruitment skits don't appear out of thin air, greek week doesn't win itself, and initiation doesn't just happen! If she's not willing to put in the time, does she really want to be there?

Found out they have been dealing with a family emergency and unable to get out to shop. Plan B is to order some things online and use a lot of what she has in her closet.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by FleurGirl

That's sort of like saying you don't feel like looking for nice clothes for your job interview, because you don't want them to hire you based on your looks. However, in both scenarios you have a very brief period to make a good impression, and someone who looks like they've invested some energy into making themselves presentable will win out every time. It's more about putting your best foot forward and showing off your best self than being judged solely on appearance.

No, it's not like that at all, as much as people like this analogy around here. There is a huge difference between dressing appropriately for an event, and spending weeks in advance preparing outfits and accessories for an event.

Dressing to the nines and getting manicures, spray tans, and spanx for recruitment when you never plan to do those things again is NOT going to help you find the chapter that is the best fit.

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

No, it's not like that at all, as much as people like this analogy around here. There is a huge difference between dressing appropriately for an event, and spending weeks in advance preparing outfits and accessories for an event.

Dressing to the nines and getting manicures, spray tans, and spanx for recruitment when you never plan to do those things again is NOT going to help you find the chapter that is the best fit.

Nobody said she needs to go get all of those extras. I completely agree with you on that. But she won't even take the time to consider clothes. This isn't a one-day event though; there's at least 4 or 5 days that she'll need to be prepared for and having outfits set before recruitment starts will greatly diminish the, "OMG, what am I going to wear?!" freakout. I completely agree with you about the other stuff. If a coat of nail polish is usually out of the question for you, then you shouldn't be getting a fancy gel manicure for recruitment. But this process requires time and effort and if she's not going to put it in, she is either a) going to have a tougher experience than those who were prepared, or b) doesn't really want to be there in the first place. If the later is the case and it's manifesting as, "I don't want to prepare by finding clothes," maybe there's too much pressure on her, and she just needs to hear that she doesn't have to go through recruitment.