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  #1  
Old 12-02-2017, 06:33 PM
Eternallyours Eternallyours is offline
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Question Her badge

My grandmother left us in July, in her will she left my cousins and I all of her jewellery, I'm not an only grandchild but I've always considered my other cousins to be trustworthy, on the day she died her jewellery box went missing (it was stolen by one of my cousins) and I've just now recovered it. She didn't really care much for jewellery but she personally left me her Greek badges (an opal pi phi badge, diamond pi phi badge, an emerald pi phi badge, a sapphire pi pi badge, a ruby pi phi badge and a plethora of Kappa badges. All predating the 1950s.), I'm a Kappa and I have no use for Pi Phi badges (as beautiful as they are) but my cousins think that they have a claim to some of the money since they think that the badges should be sold and we should all take an equal claim to the cash. Since she personally left them to me, I want to send them back to Pi Beta Phi, is this greed on my part? The money doesn't matter to me but she does and always will. She raised me to believe that when you really love something or someone that sometimes it's best to let go. Pi Phi raised her. She came to America with basically nothing and a full scholarship to college. Pi Phi put a roof over her head and food in her mouth, Pi Phi gave her friends who loved her until the very end, and Pi Phi gave her the love and security that she never received from her family. Pi Phi also gave her the courage to gain the skills that would help her secure her future. That's why I want to give them back. Even though my cousins think that they're just gold and gems in a box, I look at them and think of a woman who was born into poverty and rose through the ranks. I'm proud to be one pair of the Monmouth Duo and even though my partner has left me, I know that she is there to guide me and that I will see her again.
Kappa Love and Mine.
Eternallyours.
(Sorry if this is confusing. I just felt this pressure on me and I needed to get this off my chest.)
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  #2  
Old 12-02-2017, 06:35 PM
Cheerio Cheerio is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternallyours View Post
My grandmother left us in July, in her will she left my cousins and I all of her jewellery, I'm not an only grandchild but I've always considered my other cousins to be trustworthy, on the day she died her jewellery box went missing (it was stolen by one of my cousins) and I've just now recovered it. She didn't really care much for jewellery but she personally left me her Greek badges (an opal pi phi badge, diamond pi phi badge, an emerald pi phi badge, a sapphire pi pi badge, a ruby pi phi badge and a plethora of Kappa badges. All predating the 1950s.), I'm a Kappa and I have no use for Pi Phi badges (as beautiful as they are) but my cousins think that they have a claim to some of the money since they think that the badges should be sold and we should all take an equal claim to the cash. Since she personally left them to me, I want to send them back to Pi Beta Phi, is this greed on my part? The money doesn't matter to me but she does and always will. She raised me to believe that when you really love something or someone that sometimes it's best to let go. Pi Phi raised her. She came to America with basically nothing and a full scholarship to college. Pi Phi put a roof over her head and food in her mouth, Pi Phi gave her friends who loved her until the very end, and Pi Phi gave her the love and security that she never received from her family. Pi Phi also gave her the courage to gain the skills that would help her secure her future. That's why I want to give them back. Even though my cousins think that they're just gold and gems in a box, I look at them and think of a woman who was born into poverty and rose through the ranks. I'm proud to be one pair of the Monmouth Duo and even though my partner has left me, I know that she is there to guide me and that I will see her again.
Kappa Love and Mine.
Eternallyours.
(Sorry if this is confusing. I just felt this pressure on me and I needed to get this off my chest.)
QFP and left to Kappas/Pi Phis here on GC to sort out...
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  #3  
Old 12-02-2017, 07:14 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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I think what you want to do is very sweet. If none of the cousins are Pi Phis and your grandmother left the badges to you, they are yours to do with as you please. I would contact Pi Phi and ask them what to do with the badges.
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  #4  
Old 12-02-2017, 08:30 PM
ZTA72 ZTA72 is offline
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Your story made me think about this: if you are near a Pi Phi chapter, you might visit and speak with the members about how much Pi Phi had meant to your family member. Sometimes, there are new initiates who cannot afford a badge. you might set up a "badge scholarship" for them to be gifted to the most deserving new members. Just a thought.
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  #5  
Old 12-02-2017, 08:41 PM
Eternallyours Eternallyours is offline
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Originally Posted by ZTA72 View Post
Your story made me think about this: if you are near a Pi Phi chapter, you might visit and speak with the members about how much Pi Phi had meant to your family member. Sometimes, there are new initiates who cannot afford a badge. you might set up a "badge scholarship" for them to be gifted to the most deserving new members. Just a thought.
I live right around the corner from a Pi Beta Phi chapter (I live in my KKG house) do you think it would be a good idea to go to them before I go to Nationals?
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  #6  
Old 12-02-2017, 10:09 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
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I'm glad you were able to recover the Kappa badges so that you can wear them with pride.

If you have relatives or close friends who are Pi Phis, I'd suggest you give the Pi Phi badges to them. Failing that, I like ZTA72's suggestion of gifting them to a nearby chapter, and speaking with the sisters about what Kappa means to you and what Pi Phi meant to your grandmother. Failing *that*, send them to nationals. Don't just sell them. They aren't just pretty jewelry - they have meaning.
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  #7  
Old 12-02-2017, 11:42 PM
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Sciencewoman Sciencewoman is offline
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Paging nyapbp, IRL Fran Becque! She is Pi Beta Phi's historian and she can tell you exactly what Pi Phi's policy is. My daughter is also a Pi Phi, and she rescued a badge with Fran's guidance a couple years ago. I think I might still have the PM where Fran told us the explicit guidelines.

ETA: I PMed Fran. I also found the old PM:

"We, like most groups, have three options for the disposition of badges - be buried with it, give it to another Pi Phi, or send it to HQ. Selling it on ebay isn't one of the options."

My daugher says "thank you" for respecting the badges and she is sorry to hear of your Grandmother's passing. It sounds like your grandmother was a wonderful sister.
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Last edited by Sciencewoman; 12-02-2017 at 11:56 PM.
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  #8  
Old 12-02-2017, 11:55 PM
nyapbp nyapbp is offline
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I am Pi Phi's Historian. Sciencewoman's daughter is correct. The badges will be given a good home at HQ. PM me and I can give you more info. And if you tell me your grandmother's name, I might be able to see if we have any pictures or information about her.
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  #9  
Old 12-03-2017, 12:16 AM
generallygreek generallygreek is offline
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Thank you so, so much for your love and care for our sisterhood. I am truly touched by your grandmother's story. I'm so glad she found a warm, safe, and loving home in our sisterhood when she needed it most, and to hear that she never stopped loving Pi Phi as much as both you and her sisters surely loved her. It sounds like your grandmother was a tried and true angel, and really embodied all of our values--most of all what my chapter lovingly called "everyone's favorite value," sincere friendship. I'm saddened by your loss, but I think you are dealing with this issue with the respect and grace a wonderful woman like your grandmother deserves. Don't let those who don't understand everything a badge represents get you down or change your ultimate decision. I'm sure your grandmother entrusted those treasures to you because she knew you would treat them with thoughtfulness and care. Thank you for sharing your memories, and for allowing us to share briefly in the life of a wonderful woman and sister. Pi Phi love and mine.
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  #10  
Old 12-03-2017, 12:39 AM
navane navane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternallyours View Post
My grandmother left us in July, in her will she left my cousins and I all of her jewellery, I'm not an only grandchild but I've always considered my other cousins to be trustworthy, on the day she died her jewellery box went missing (it was stolen by one of my cousins) and I've just now recovered it. She didn't really care much for jewellery but she personally left me her Greek badges (an opal pi phi badge, diamond pi phi badge, an emerald pi phi badge, a sapphire pi pi badge, a ruby pi phi badge and a plethora of Kappa badges. All predating the 1950s.), I'm a Kappa and I have no use for Pi Phi badges (as beautiful as they are) but my cousins think that they have a claim to some of the money since they think that the badges should be sold and we should all take an equal claim to the cash. Since she personally left them to me, I want to send them back to Pi Beta Phi, is this greed on my part?

HOLD ON. What does the will actually say?

If your grandmother left you *and* your cousins "all" of her jewelry, then they may have a claim to the value of the badges. If your grandmother spelled out explicitly which pieces each cousin was to receive - ie "Sarah shall receive the pearl necklace and bracelet set and the ruby pendants", "Amanda will receive the diamond cocktail rings", "Karen shall receive the Greek letter badges", etc. Then I imagine the cousins would not have a claim to the badges.

As unfortunate as it is, if grandmother did not specify the disposition of the badges, you may have to sell them. You cannot deny the other recipients their inheritance simply because you're a Greek and they are not. In this case, I might suggest seeing if the badges can be sold to IHQ or a Pi Beta Phi sister for a fair price.

If the badges were explicitly left to you for your personal use, then you can do whatever you want with them.
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  #11  
Old 12-03-2017, 12:47 AM
APhi2KD APhi2KD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nyapbp View Post
I am Pi Phi's Historian. Sciencewoman's daughter is correct. The badges will be given a good home at HQ. PM me and I can give you more info. And if you tell me your grandmother's name, I might be able to see if we have any pictures or information about her.
What happens to badges at headquarters? Always been curious if they are displayed with their histories, etc.
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  #12  
Old 12-03-2017, 01:59 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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A badge isn't jewelry. It's a badge. It has meaning other than to be pretty. Personally I think the cousins forfeited their claims to anything when they STOLE the jewelry box ON THE DAY SHE DIED. I don't know what you all were thinking about the day your grandma died, but for me personally jewelry and how much $ I'd get from selling it was about 547th on the list.
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  #13  
Old 12-03-2017, 02:36 AM
Kevin Kevin is offline
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Is there a probate open? Who is in charge of the estate? While Pi Phi might tell you to donate the badges (and that would be great), doing so could end up costing you. Was there a will? Is there a trust? How did you come back into possession of the jewelry? If your cousins "stole" it, why do you have it now? You need to run this stuff by a lawyer in your state because while I respect the hell out of everyone in this thread, I don't see a lot of expertise in probate law here except navane. She's apparently on the same page I am. Definitely not enough information here, and you are in danger of being in the legal weeds.

And as far as badges not being jewelry and being the property of the national organization, that's a bunch of bullshit. Badges sell on Ebay all the time, sometimes for big bucks. While organizations might say that badges are the property of the organization, a court of law is probably going to take a different view. I own a jeweled badge which I paid good money for. I bought it from an authorized vendor. It is definitely not the property of Sigma Nu, though I will probably will it back to the chapter.
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  #14  
Old 12-03-2017, 08:52 AM
Eternallyours Eternallyours is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by navane View Post
HOLD ON. What does the will actually say?

If your grandmother left you *and* your cousins "all" of her jewelry, then they may have a claim to the value of the badges. If your grandmother spelled out explicitly which pieces each cousin was to receive - ie "Sarah shall receive the pearl necklace and bracelet set and the ruby pendants", "Amanda will receive the diamond cocktail rings", "Karen shall receive the Greek letter badges", etc. Then I imagine the cousins would not have a claim to the badges.

As unfortunate as it is, if grandmother did not specify the disposition of the badges, you may have to sell them. You cannot deny the other recipients their inheritance simply because you're a Greek and they are not. In this case, I might suggest seeing if the badges can be sold to IHQ or a Pi Beta Phi sister for a fair price.

If the badges were explicitly left to you for your personal use, then you can do whatever you want with them.

The will personally states me as the recipient of ALL Greek badges, the only one that I forfeited was the one that she specified was to be buried with her. Before she died she also specififically said that ALL Greek badges and ALL Greek Jewellery (Lavaileres etc,) were to go to me in front of her lawyer.
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  #15  
Old 12-03-2017, 09:01 AM
Eternallyours Eternallyours is offline
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Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
Is there a probate open? Who is in charge of the estate? While Pi Phi might tell you to donate the badges (and that would be great), doing so could end up costing you. Was there a will? Is there a trust? How did you come back into possession of the jewelry? If your cousins "stole" it, why do you have it now? You need to run this stuff by a lawyer in your state because while I respect the hell out of everyone in this thread, I don't see a lot of expertise in probate law here except navane. She's apparently on the same page I am. Definitely not enough information here, and you are in danger of being in the legal weeds.

And as far as badges not being jewelry and being the property of the national organization, that's a bunch of bullshit. Badges sell on Ebay all the time, sometimes for big bucks. While organizations might say that badges are the property of the organization, a court of law is probably going to take a different view. I own a jeweled badge which I paid good money for. I bought it from an authorized vendor. It is definitely not the property of Sigma Nu, though I will probably will it back to the chapter.
My grandmother didn't view them as jewellery. The will personally specified me as the recipient and the jewellery box was not recovered until now because my cousin lives in the same town as my grandma and had the opportunity to take what she wanted when we were all more preoccupied with things other than money, we came back into possession because my cousin's husband called another one of my cousins to ask if she had any claim on the jewellery (which she did), and my grandmother's lawyer has cleared me on everything but figuring out how to distribute the badges.
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