Can't decide- big dilemma, going through Recruitment

[llrushee]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Just realize that Mississippi is one of the worst places for tent talk. Just give it a little time (more than a week.) You can't pledge anywhere else for a year so there is no where else to go. If you really don't like the group, don't get initiated...but give yourself the chance.

I don't live in Mississippi. I am definitely giving it more than a week and giving myself a chance.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by llrushee

I don't live in Mississippi. I am definitely giving it more than a week and giving myself a chance.

Good. Well, there is only one other SEC school with a colonization next year. I won't say which. Lovely place. Making relationships takes time. Recruitment has a way of bruising your ego, but it also doesn't give you a chance to really get to know the chapter in a normal situation. Put yourself out there and meet as many of the sisters and new members as you can. These chapters are huge. Chances are you will fit in better than you think you will once your hurt feelings are smoothed over.

[Lovethesand]

If my Debbie knew I was in here talking about her she'd give me even more attitude than she already does. That said.... here goes my two cents:

1. My Debbie was devastated to get her #2 pick. She grudgingly went to Bid Day and new member events the first day. She was not feeling it at all.

2. Two weeks later and she still wasn't really feeling it. It was the dreaded "ok" which we all know for an 18 year old ranges from good to awful.

3. A month later it was better, not great but better. She was involved in activities with her house BUT she put herself out there. She did every NM event they had and slowly started meeting more girls in her PC and outside of her PC. She slowly started feeling her way.

4. She went through initiation and while she still had some lingering doubts she decided the positives outweighed any doubts she had. She said something she heard during initiation clicked with her and it was a small turning point. She still wasn't head over heels in love but the tide was turning and she was committed to her house.

5. Over the next months her doubts started to fade and her relationships grew stronger. When asked it was still "ok" but leaning more toward the good ok then the awful ok.

6. Move ahead to work week and recruitment and she loves these girls and is very excited about the pledge class and the future. I don't know exactly how this transformation happened but it did. It wasn't overnight and it took time. As KDCat said, I think Debbie was home before she knew it.

Everybody is different in a relationship and don't be fooled into thinking this isn't a relationship. To paraphrase, "what you put into it is what you get out of it". I don't think Debbie considered dropping out but I do know she was frustrated at times. I think that's normal. Part of growing up is learning how to adjust to new situations and new relationships and this is a learning experience. Some girls will have that magical recruitment and fall in love with their house immediately. Bless those lucky girls. Please don't use that as a measuring tool and feel that your experience is bad because it doesn't match that. Every experience is going to be different.

A bunch of strangers on a forum can't tell you how to feel or what do do but we can share with you our experiences or the experiences of those close to us. What you're feeling isn't unusual or unique but it still hurts and is confusing. Give it a chance, one week, one month at a time and see where you are in the process. I wish you nothing but the best.

[33girl]

^^^Wonderful post.

Even women who DO get their first choice will occasionally have times (especially the first year) when they have "buyer's remorse." It's absolutely normal. Nothing is 100% wonderful all the time. You HAVE to put yourself out there. I realize that if you're coming from a HS setting where you've lived your whole life and known everything about everyone forever that's very hard to do, but you have to learn how to do it in life sooner or later.

[PKTKKG]

I sent you a PM

[carnation]

I wonder what happened to this woman?

[FSUZeta]

And Debbie

[YellowRose50]

Originally Posted by carnation

I wonder what happened to this woman?

Thinking the same thing!