After dropping from a house, is it impossible to get a bid the next year?

[HopefulPNM]

On bid day, I was given a bid from my absolute last choice. It wasn't that there was a problem with the girls, they were very sweet, it was just that I felt very uncomfortable around them and that I didn't belong there. My Rho Gamma convinced me to "run home", and said that if I still didn't feel comfortable after doing so, I have the option of dropping out of the sorority.

My question is, if I do decide to drop out, would I even have a chance during next year's recruitment, or would the fact that I dropped a house put up a red flag in all the other sorority's next year?
I know that recruitment is generally harder for sophomores overall, but if I get involved on campus and maintain a very good gpa, would that help my case?

Basically, would the fact that I dropped a house due to feeling that I didn't belong there completely kill my chances, even if I had a very good resume next year?
Going Greek is very important to me, but it's not worth it to feel uncomfortable in my own skin whenever I meet up with my sisters.

[UGAalum94]

It depends a lot on which school you go to. Some places this would probably matter less than others.

Generally, at really competitive recruitments, your best shot is freshman year, and you'd have to do a lot to have a better recruitment the following year. You'd need to work on your GPA, your activities and leadership, and you'd need to get to know a lot of girls in a lot of chapters pretty well so that they'd think you'd make a good member.

Re-rushing at competitive chapters isn't usually a good thing, and maybe more importantly, it doesn't often work from the perspective of trying to get a bid from a more highly selective chapter.

[victoriana]

I understand that you felt uncomfortable at first, but you have to remember, that sense of feeling "at home" with your new sorority doesn't develop overnight. For some girls, it might, but for others it takes time and effort to get to know people. You should stick it out for a couple more weeks and then decide whether or not you want to drop. There's no harm in going through the new member period, and you may just find that your uncomfortable-ness will go away once you get to know your new sisters. I would encourage you to attend lots of sorority events and put yourself out there. They gave you a bid, they obviously saw something they like in you. You should give them the same chance. I think if you put in the time and effort and give it an honest chance, you will feel more comfortable as time goes on.

Depending on your school, re-recruitment after accepting a bid and then dropping can be impossible. Regardless of your GPA, involvement, and resume, you will be a sophomore which makes things harder, and then there's the fact that you got a bid and then dropped it. Sororities will see this as a lack of commitment or see it as you thought you were too good for them. I guarantee you that sisters in your chapter have friends in all the other chapters. Word will get around. This could be your only chance at sisterhood, so I think you should just give it a shot and if you really hate it, drop before initiation but know that it could likely be your only chance at Greek Life.

[adpiucf]

Question: Do you want to be Greek? Because this is your chance. Change your attitude and get to like a few things about these women who took a chance on and saw something in you. Come around to the events, put a smile on your face, and make some friends. If you can't find a way to fit in with this group, you probably won't fit in with any group. I'm pretty sure they aren't cookie cutter evil and terrible people, but rather they are diverse and representative of most sororities on your campus.

And your feeling uncomfortable in your own skin is called, "I don't like that I was rejected from my top choices." Get over it. If you can't, drop out and try again knowing that you may not get a bid ANYWHERE next time.

If you want to experience sorority life, this is your chance. You have a month or so before initation, after which point you won't be eligible to join another sorority ever, so at least give it that chance.

Exception: you drop out right now and obsessively hang out with the sorority you want to be bidded to because your BFF is there, and, miraculously, the chapter offers you a bid next recruitment. This is not the norm, and almost never, ever happens.

[DubaiSis]

I don't know where you rushed, but it seems the really early rushes are among the most competitive out there, with the strongest systems top to bottom. And from what you've said, I think your problem is not with your sorority (yes, they are yours now), but with the stress and anxiety of the process. Don't deny yourself all of the opportunity you have ahead of you just because you didn't have the ideal rush.

Girls do rerush and have successful outcomes the second time around, but it's a pretty big risk when you have a house now who does want you and you don't seem to be THAT opposed to.

We haven't had this discussion yet this year, but it is VERY common for girls to feel a big sense of letdown after rush, the girls who had the perfect rush as well as the girls who had 1 or 2 chapters from round two up to preference. It gets so overblown in your mind since it has been 100% of your life for the last week, that your expectations for awesomeness are just not met. If rush went exactly how you dreamed, you might not be any happier right now. My advice: stick it out, but do it enthusiastically. If you are negative, don't show up, don't make an effort, etc., it's never going to get better.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by HopefulPNM

On bid day, I was given a bid from my absolute last choice. It wasn't that there was a problem with the girls, they were very sweet, it was just that I felt very uncomfortable around them and that I didn't belong there. My Rho Gamma convinced me to "run home", and said that if I still didn't feel comfortable after doing so, I have the option of dropping out of the sorority.

My question is, if I do decide to drop out, would I even have a chance during next year's recruitment, or would the fact that I dropped a house put up a red flag in all the other sorority's next year?
I know that recruitment is generally harder for sophomores overall, but if I get involved on campus and maintain a very good gpa, would that help my case?

Basically, would the fact that I dropped a house due to feeling that I didn't belong there completely kill my chances, even if I had a very good resume next year?
Going Greek is very important to me, but it's not worth it to feel uncomfortable in my own skin whenever I meet up with my sisters.

Is your school really competitive?

If we're talking Bama or Auburn level competitiveness here, ponder your decision before taking any action.

Everyone's immediate reaction to disappointment is to drop out and try again, but recognize that this is could very likely be your best shot at being Greek.

Also, I am unsure of what your motivations are for depledging, but also consider that if you think you can get a bid to a "better" chapter next time, the chapters who are considered to be the "best" are most likely not going to bid a sophomore 2x rusher. Not saying this is what you think, but many PNMs think "Oh this wasn't a cool chapter, I'll rush next year for a better one" not realizing that the ones they want so badly don't even typically pledge sophomores.

I would also suggest reading these before making any decisions:

Advice on not getting your first choice: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=106678

Upperclassman quota and rushing as upperclassmen: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=121221

I didn't get my first choice- does it get better? http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=121412

And this particular post about recruitment/connections/etc. Sure, grades help, but much of competitive recruitment DOES center on relationships and who you know. You can have it all on paper, have the best grades in the world, but knowing people matters, ESPECIALLY as a sophomore. http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...40&postcount=6

This is not to scare you or doscourage you, I just see a lot of PNMs saying "maybe it will be different next time" not really seeing what they're getting into (which is why Rho Gammas encourage you to give your new chapter a try. Because it's not so easy.)

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I don't know where you rushed, but it seems the really early rushes are among the most competitive out there, with the strongest systems top to bottom.

Yep. Which means that this might be your One Shot.

And (I've complained about this at length on here) IMO, the "running" to your sorority in a public setting for everyone to see your emotions, successes, failures and decisions is absolutely barbaric. You might be feeling a little better about it if one or two sisters had come to pick you up at your dorm room and been able to talk to you, or even if you could have talked about it in private at lenghth with your Rho Gamma.*

Give it time - you haven't even really gotten into college life/Greek life yet. You may find that your sorority is more your speed than you realized. You're bound to them for a year, so you have nothing to lose by giving it a whirl.

*yes I know there are thousands of women, doing it otherwise would take forever, bla bla bla. I still think there are more delicate ways to handle the situation.

[LXA SE285]

From the "Not Getting a Bid to Your First Choice" thread:

Originally Posted by December190

I rushed this semester as a junior.

My "favorite" house from day 1 cut me after the first round.

My second "favorite" house I actually kept inviting me back all the way to their preference night.

On bid day I opened my card and saw that I didn't get a big from my second favorite house. Instead I got a bid from the house that I ranked LAST on the first day.

I still accepted it because I knew I wouldn't go through recruitment again as a senior, it would be pointless. So I thought I'd give these girls a try even though I knew I'd be miserable.

I'm about to get initiated next week and I can HONESTLY say I don't belong in any other house. I LOVE these girls. I have had so much fun these past couple weeks and I really can't imagine myself being in any other sorority, ESPECIALLY my "favorite" house from day one.

Moral of the story is... just give it a try. I have full faith that the system works the way it's supposed to and you end up in the house that you're meant to be in.