how do sororities decide? - Page 4

ZTA72 · #46 02-08-2009, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

ORLY?

Everytime I see this, I think airport in Paris

KSUViolet06 · #47 02-08-2009, 11:50 PM

Were the orignial answers NOT clear enough for you?

No one can tell you whether it matters how many people you talk to or not.

It's something that is secret/private.

The fact of the matter is that you can speculate but you will NEVER KNOW WHY.

Why not? Because it's not something we discuss here.

You keep saying that no one has answered your question, but I believe it has been answered multiple times.

WE DON'T KNOW. IF WE DID, we couldn't TELL YOU anyway.

There really is no sense in trying to figure this out. Recruitment is over and no one can answer your question.

Have a nice day.

LadyLonghorn · #48 02-09-2009, 12:09 AM

My guess would be the sororities judged you in the same way you judged the chapter whose pref party was beneath you.

swtlilsoni · #49 02-09-2009, 12:15 AM

Wow. beneath me? I never claimed to be better than them. I think everyone would agree that there are some sororities that you connect with, and some you dont. Most people say you just know, as soon as you step into a house, talk to the girls, feel comfortable, feel at home you know its for you. There are others you know arent for you. This was one of them. It seems like your twisting everything up and putting words in my mouth so you can belittle me.

LadyLonghorn · #50 02-09-2009, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

OTW,
Trust me, I know alot about the chapter and am pretty sure I wouldn't be happy there. I'm not making these decisions mindlessly.

Um. Allrighty then. I'm sure everything you heard in the tents was accurate.

swtlilsoni · #51 02-09-2009, 12:22 AM

By knowing alot I dont mean rumors, I mean by interacting with them.

AOEforme · #52 02-09-2009, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

By knowing alot I dont mean rumors, I mean by interacting with them.

I'm just curious where/how/when you interacted with them. Frat parties? Classes? Did you see a girl who acted like a bi*** in their letters?

LadyLonghorn · #53 02-09-2009, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

By knowing alot I dont mean rumors, I mean by interacting with them.

Yeah, whatever. Amazing you "interacted" enough with these ladies in the prior semester to know they weren't good enough for you, yet had no interaction with the members of the "superior" houses since they obviously had no impression of you. Or actually, maybe your interactions did leave an impression on them as well.

swtlilsoni · #54 02-09-2009, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOEforme

I'm just curious where/how/when you interacted with them. Frat parties? Classes? Did you see a girl who acted like a bi*** in their letters?

No I actually don't go to frat parties that much, Ive been to alot of their meet the sisters and other events, and I know a few of the girls.

AOEforme · #55 02-09-2009, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

No I actually don't go to frat parties that much, Ive been to alot of their meet the sisters and other events, and I know a few of the girls.

I'm just confused then: As I see it you're either (1) Listening to tent talk, rumors, judging those ladies based on appearance, etc. or (2) letting a few bad eggs ruin what could be a great experience.

If you like those girls you know, if they're your friends, I don't understand what about this sorority (other than rumors and superficial reasons) is putting you off and making you think you wouldn't fit. Do they not mix with the top fraternities? Did one of the girls you know not get a good bid day package? Did she feel lonely during her NM period? Are they not the size 0 blondes?

If you don't like those girls you know, you wouldn't (and I can say this with nearly 100% confidence) like every girl in your top choice either. I took an oath to love all my sisters, but honestly (and everyone else will tell you this too) there are some girls in my chapter I just don't get along with. And I prolly never will, no matter how hard I try. We're friendly, but will never be BFFs. It happens in every chapter, everywhere.

Also, if you really have been to a lot of their events, you've shown geniune interest in their organization and of course they asked you back. But, being invited to pref means that they (the only people who truely know that organization) think that you would fit in. If they've had time BEFORE formal recruitment to get to know you, that makes me think all the more that they were probably correct. It's a shame you didn't give them a try.

swtlilsoni · #56 02-09-2009, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOEforme

I'm just confused then: As I see it you're either (1) Listening to tent talk, rumors, judging those ladies based on appearance, etc. or (2) letting a few bad eggs ruin what could be a great experience.

If you like those girls you know, if they're your friends, I don't understand what about this sorority (other than rumors and superficial reasons) is putting you off and making you think you wouldn't fit. Do they not mix with the top fraternities? Did one of the girls you know not get a good bid day package? Did she feel lonely during her NM period? Are they not the size 0 blondes?

If you don't like those girls you know, you wouldn't (and I can say this with nearly 100% confidence) like every girl in your top choice either. I took an oath to love all my sisters, but honestly (and everyone else will tell you this too) there are some girls in my chapter I just don't get along with. And I prolly never will, no matter how hard I try. We're friendly, but will never be BFFs. It happens in every chapter, everywhere.

Also, if you really have been to a lot of their events, you've shown geniune interest in their organization and of course they asked you back. But, being invited to pref means that they (the only people who truely know that organization) think that you would fit in. If they've had time BEFORE formal recruitment to get to know you, that makes me think all the more that they were probably correct. It's a shame you didn't give them a try.

hmm well I have a question for you
what about people who dont accept bids? Is that not okay?
Basically, are you saying that its wrong to not want to join a certain sorority or have preferences among chapters?
I mean, after attending each party we have to rank the chapters in order of preference .. is that wrong?
If a girl is in a certain chapter that fits her, are you saying that she would have been just as fine in any of the other ones?
I still feel like there are certain chapters you fit in and certain chapters that arent right for you ..

I'm really not trying to argue or anything I'm just trying to understand if by what your saying, you mean any sorority is good for any girl and one can fit in any of them? or are you saying since they think I was a fit they must have been correct?

I think what your trying to get at is that the sorority thought I would be right for them so they were probably right..
Well sometimes a girl finds a connection but the sorority eliminates her right? So why is it not okay if a sorority finds a connection but a girl doesnt?

And those girls that I know .. I know them but it doesnt mean I'm good friends with them. Think back to highschool, didn't you know a bunch of people but you fit in and had a bond with others? I know these girls and I speak to them and see them around every now and then but we never had enough of a connection to become good friends.
And you're probably right that even in my top choice there are going to be a few girls I dont have a bond with .. but does that make it equivalent to another choice in which I haven't found a bond with anyone save one or two in?

KSUViolet06 · #57 02-09-2009, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

I'm really not trying to argue or anything I'm just trying to understand if by what your saying, you mean any sorority is good for any girl and one can fit in any of them? or are you saying since they think I was a fit they must have been correct?

And you're probably right that even in my top choice there are going to be a few girls I dont have a bond with .. but does that make it equivalent to another choice in which I haven't found a bond with anyone save one or two in?

Honestly, you're allowed to accept/decline whatever invitations you wish. It happens. It was just a little odd because we were all under the impression that you were released from all chapters, not that you got an invite to pref but chose not to attend.

Also (and this is not necessarily my personal opinion) I can tell you that there are alot of people on GC who have problems having a lot of sympathy for someone asking "what happened" when they had every chance to be in a sorority.

Anyway, best of luck with your COB efforts and such.

ASTalumna06 · #58 02-09-2009, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

hmm well I have a question for you
what about people who dont accept bids? Is that not okay?
Basically, are you saying that its wrong to not want to join a certain sorority or have preferences among chapters?
I mean, after attending each party we have to rank the chapters in order of preference .. is that wrong?
If a girl is in a certain chapter that fits her, are you saying that she would have been just as fine in any of the other ones?
I still feel like there are certain chapters you fit in and certain chapters that arent right for you ..

I'm really not trying to argue or anything I'm just trying to understand if by what your saying, you mean any sorority is good for any girl and one can fit in any of them? or are you saying since they think I was a fit they must have been correct?

I think what your trying to get at is that the sorority thought I would be right for them so they were probably right..
Well sometimes a girl finds a connection but the sorority eliminates her right? So why is it not okay if a sorority finds a connection but a girl doesnt?

Sorry I've arrived a little late to this party, but...

You're going to find from being on this site that there are numerous recruitment stories posted all the time. I joined Greekchat over the summer and since then, I can't tell you how many stories I've read where a girl doesn't really like a chapter, it turns out it's her only option going into pref, and then she absolutely loves it.

You seem very concerned with the number of sisters you had to talk to in order to get a bid. Therefore, I'm guessing you didn't talk to a lot of sisters from each sorority (which can very well happen with much larger chapters). Because of this, you only talked to a handful of sisters from the "less desirable" chapter, and chances are you might have had conversations with more of them at pref, and you might have found from talking to them that this chapter was exactly where you were meant to be.

Basically, all you can do is try to rush again. Have good grades, look presentable, carry great conversations, etc. Worrying about the rest of it isn't going to make a difference.

And next time... keep an open mind and be willing to accept the fact that you might not get a bid to your favorite chapter.

TriDeltaSallie · #59 02-09-2009, 06:22 AM

There is a possibility that seems to have been overlooked. It is possible that the poster is a Christian and was only invited back to one of the predominantly Jewish sororities. If this were the case, it wouldn't make sense for her to return if she felt she could never be comfortable there.

I have no idea if this is the case. But there are possible explanations that a PNM might not feel expressing in a public place with the PC police on the troll throughout the world.

Just a thought.

KSUViolet06 · #60 02-09-2009, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

There is a possibility that seems to have been overlooked. It is possible that the poster is a Christian and was only invited back to one of the predominantly Jewish sororities. If this were the case, it wouldn't make sense for her to return if she felt she could never be comfortable there.

I have no idea if this is the case. But there are possible explanations that a PNM might not feel expressing in a public place with the PC police on the troll throughout the world.

Just a thought.

This thread = getting a little ridiculous.

I'm certainly not one to say that a PNM doesn't have the right to accept/decline whatever invites she gets.

People also need to consider when they come here for advice and such, that they open themselves up for criticism (whether warranted or not). That's how asking for advice and such on the internet works.

I mean, if they only want someone to tell them what they want to hear about a situation, then perhaps they should ask their friends or people around them--rather than strangers on a message board.

This might sound harsh, but if she wants to hear "oh it was totally cool of you to decline a pref invite" she should probably ask someone else. That's not likely to be the response she gets here.

This has never been a "tell PNMs what they want to hear" kind of place, and I really don't want it to become that. I think it does a disservice to them if you ask me. If being honest with someone makes me "mean" or the "PC police" then so be it.

And for the record, there are TONS of threads where PNMs ask questions and get completely civil, polite and informative answers. I'd say that 90% of responses to PNMs are very helpful and polite. Not every PNM is "demonized here" at all. It's when they are in denial, rude, or just not wanting to accept the advice that THEY asked for, when people then have to be rude back.

The poster's question was answered VERY politely in the first few posts.