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  #166  
Old 08-22-2015, 08:18 PM
WalkintheWoods WalkintheWoods is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDmommy View Post
Just now chiming in. Rough week for my girl. She did go to 3 houses today for pref, 2 of which she consistently ranked last but kept getting invited back because she was cut from the others. She does not feel any connection with them and doesn't want to take up a spot in those houses when she feels that she won't be happy. So...she is suiciding one house, her favorite all week.. I hope that it works for her, I'm so nervous.
AGDmommy fingers crossed for your daughter! I wish the best for her. I know that Intentional Single Preference is strongly discouraged and at the same time I understand that sometimes it seems like the only option. While I do agree that sometimes "tent talk" and "tiers" plays a role (when I wish it would not, because all the houses have something to offer), I do understand that once in awhile that is not the issue. Sometimes girls just don't feel any sort of connection to a house. While there's a good argument to be made that she could find friends if she went ahead and took a Bid and stuck it out (and it DOES happen!), sorority life is a big commitment and if a girl feels strongly that she'd rather not be in any house at all than be in a particular house, that's the right decision for her. It's a very personal choice.

My heart goes out to all the Moms and their daughters who were released from recruitment, or who dropped out of disappointment. This is such a tough time. When I rushed (many years ago), one of my best friends rushed with me and she dropped out near the end of rush. The next year she went through rush again, with the same result. She was/is, beautiful, intelligent, funny, interesting, an all-around wonderful person with a lot to offer any organization. She's had a successful career and happy family life and continues to be one of my best friends. I remember the heartache she went through and my own frustration at her result, because I knew that she would be a great addition to any sorority.

I hope that none of the freshman girls who didn't get the rush result they wanted will let it define their first year of college.

For those of you whose daughters are thinking ahead to COB, I echo the advice on here for the girls to get to know new sorority members in their dorms. COB placements happen through active members who've befriended someone who would be a good fit for the house. Meanwhile, encourage them to find other ways to get involved, explore all the campus has to offer, and focus on their classes. Whether or not they end up joining a sorority, they will have a good first year at Mizzou if they do that.

And finally, to all the Moms whose daughters attended Preference Round--good luck to your girls! Here's hoping they are all celebrating with their new sisters tomorrow.

All the best.
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  #167  
Old 08-22-2015, 08:23 PM
Katmandu Katmandu is offline
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It is heart breaking when a PNM is COMPLETELY released, as in, no invitations. It is not heartbreaking when a woman has choices and options and chooses to drop out. Two different scenarios completely in my opinion.
  #168  
Old 08-22-2015, 08:35 PM
WalkintheWoods WalkintheWoods is offline
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Originally Posted by Katmandu View Post
It is heart breaking when a PNM is COMPLETELY released, as in, no invitations. It is not heartbreaking when a woman has choices and options and chooses to drop out. Two different scenarios completely in my opinion.
Yes, Katmandu I agree--different scenarios. I feel really horrible for the girls who were willing to keep going and had no options. It's just awful. I'm only saying that we can't always assume that someone who drops or ISPs is considering herself "too good" for the houses who were inviting her back. I know there's a lot of that out there, and it drives me crazy. But it's not the case for everyone.

I do like hearing about the success stories at Alabama--I know that one or two strong new member classes can totally turn a chapter around and I wish more of the PNMs at Mizzou thought along those terms. I hope that will change.
  #169  
Old 08-22-2015, 10:09 PM
GoMizzou GoMizzou is offline
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Again, some of the girls who have been invited back to full schedules each round SHOULD find a match. I feel terrible for the girls that were cut very early on-and as I said earlier-some really rounded girls with great resumes. There is a big difference with a girl having 7 options going into Round 3 and a girl who has 1 or 2. More options-more of a chance of fitting in. I feel my daughter is definitely one of the lucky ones-but so confused as to what happened to SO many of her friends. and I've heard this repeatedly from other moms with kids in other groups. Who knows-could be a whole new computer system this year-but many actives said they NEVER remember so many girls with the whole package being cut down to only a few choices after round 1(those that grow up in Missouri get that).
Would love to see these girls that were cut-or dropped-cob. It will be very interesting to see final numbers this year.
And I am telling you-I would TOTALLY encourage my daughter-if she had not many options-to get that group together and pledge a house--it's to bad some of the pi chi leaders couldn't organize something like that with girls they knew were dropped or had one other option. Being in education all my life, I know that sometimes it takes some skilled coordinating to make something positive happen!
  #170  
Old 08-22-2015, 10:42 PM
pbear19 pbear19 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USCofSEC View Post
Ok, I understand the grade risk issue for PNM.
BUT- Mizzou, is notorious for girls who drop because PNM's do not like their remaining invitations for pref. (Tier System in young minds)
Personally, this defeats the whole concept of joining the Greek System!

Maybe they should look to Alabama, that has usually over a 90% placement.
AMEN!

The number of PNMs released from all houses is up a bit this year. But, although I can't remember exact numbers, it seems to me that the number of registered PNMs who had very low grades was also up a bit.

9 out of 10 women who are no longer participating as of right now are women who chose to drop out. The number who were released is still very small comparatively, although I know that doesn't make those women feel better!!!

Mizzou truly does have a retention "problem" when you compare it to other SEC schools. We also tend to have fewer quota additions, because many women choose not to maximize their options. I'd say that 65-70% is the average in recent years of women who register for recruitment and end up with a bid on bid day. Right now I think it may be worse than that this year.

Please know that I'm not blaming any of the daughters who decided to drop. But it is part of campus culture to drop and not give every house full consideration, and I think that's a shame. There is not a bad house on this campus.
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  #171  
Old 08-22-2015, 11:58 PM
GoMizzou GoMizzou is offline
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pbear19~we both have facts-or statements, lol-and I'm sure neither of us is 100% correct.
Yes, I've also heard the number of PNM "released" this year is up-it is a higher number than last year. However, there were fewer girls registered this year. This was the first year-ever-that they suggested to PNM prior to registration to hold off until after their first year of college if their GPA wasn't at a certain cut off(which was pretty low, maybe a 3.5?). That is what people thought initially was the reason for the lower "registration" numbers this year. But as someone pointed very early on, the number of females that applied-and registered at the University was far lower than anticipated-thus the issue of moving girls from certain dorms to others to make more space for boys. So basically-the total number of females attending Mizzou this year was much lower than the previous year-which actually went along with national averages for the years 1997-1998 birth year. All that aside-according to actives-your estimate of 9 out of 10 no longer participating is not near accurate. After the second round there were drastic cuts made--some now think because it was all computerized it was based on past totals but who knows. Kind of makes sense if it was. Regardless, the "number" released last year with the number 'released' this year is irrelevant because there were fewer numbers of girls registered. They weren't talking percentages-but numbers(and even those numbers haven't officially been released).
This year was definitely not a 'retention' problem. When too many girls are left with only a few choices(say 2) while others have 11 after Round 1, there is clearly a glitch. Educators see it all the time within the first few years of going to a new computer program-so I'm guessing that is what has occurred. These girls have been through enough this week and I hate to see people stating that they just didn't give it their all. And again, if you think about it, a girl that has 11 choices after Round 1, compared to a girl that has 2--obviously the first girl has a better chance of "fitting" in some where when she has more 'options'.
It will be interesting when the final numbers come out--and the pledge class numbers. the public will never be privy to exactly how many were on a bid list, quota + and even "other' bids. Problems were seen early on and chapters most likely knew that. What many are saying is that is the reason for all the questions this year about Snap Bids. Something was off this year-chapters went exactly by the numbers they were given and needed to submit-there are a bunch of girls out there that put themselves through an extremely emotional, exhausting week to end up with nothing but disappointment. Again-I hate to see anyone judge these girls. Every school is different. Every Greek system is different. Every chapter is different. I think of the many that dropped-had they been given 7 choices-rather than 1 or 2-they most likely wouldn't have dropped. And we all know Alabamas Greek system has been in place far longer than Mizzou. So although people can compare numbers of recruitment and say we are just like Alabama-we all know they have a far longer establishment of many houses.
To all the girls that gave it their all this week I truly hope you don't give up..cob, join other campus organizations-just don't let this define your freshman year! It was so tought for SO many!
  #172  
Old 08-23-2015, 12:28 AM
beagled1 beagled1 is offline
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The Mizzou Greek system is actually pretty old, and the tier problem is old too. Once a sorority becomes stigmatized it soooo hard to overcome that. I've heard so many stories of great girls this year who have dropped with a couple of options remaining. From the outside, we can see that those girls could comprise great pledge classes that would really jump start the turnaround. But that's a lot to ask of girls who are in many ways looking for a sorority to be a safe place--not a risk/challenge to take on their first week of school.
New colonies seem to get a pass for a while, but we've seen houses colonize, then have to leave, then recolonize.
Is the real difference between Bama's success at retaining PNMs and Mizzou's failure to do so is the perceived importance of being Greek? PNMs who drop at Mizzou are deciding they'd rather not be Greek than pledge. Maybe it's more important to be Greek at Bama?

If Alabama really has fixed this, I want to know how. I hate to see so many young women miss out on a the sorority experience because of ... all this other junk.

And I would be absolutly shocked if PHA screwed up the RFM numbers somehow. They've been doing it this way for quite a while. RFM won't work if PNMs won't consider weaker recruiting chapters. It seems like we are putting up with the pain of the harsh cuts but not reaping the benefits, simply because of campus culture.
  #173  
Old 08-23-2015, 12:30 AM
USCofSEC USCofSEC is offline
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Question: Does not Mizzou use the RFM factor? If so this is really what should have happened.

Generally under RFM, 85 to 95 percent of PNMs are matched with their first preference on their membership recruitment acceptance binding agreement (MRABA). This percentage is a key statistic that NPC tracks for each campus.

I wish this would have worked out differently for many girls at Mizzou this year.
  #174  
Old 08-23-2015, 12:36 AM
beagled1 beagled1 is offline
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Yes.

Mizzou uses RFM. Our problem is tons of girls who drop out the last couple of rounds. At least that's my perception from watching the last few years as a mom/rec writer and from back in the Stone Age when I was on campus.
  #175  
Old 08-23-2015, 12:42 AM
USCofSEC USCofSEC is offline
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Thank You, It really is too bad that many wonderful girls drop just because they are not giving a lower tier house a chance.
  #176  
Old 08-23-2015, 01:06 AM
GoMizzou GoMizzou is offline
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Ok-that's part of the problem. We know several girls that were cut-who , if we are talking tiers, which is ridiculous, did not want some of the 'top' tier houses. Perhaps shocking to some, but some of these girls have worked themselves to the bone in high school-and don't want to settle for a 'pretty' house when actually they are being cut by those other houses because they assume these 'pretty' girls won't give them a chance- and they want to maximize their options. But that might be part of the problem-because they are 'pretty' some of those other houses cut them because they think they won't consider them? From what I've just read-it seems there are many thinking girls dropped when they didn't get a 'top' house. I personally know for a fact there were many girls that wanted what you might consider mid-or even lower-tier houses. they were dropped early. they had 2 options. they were nervous because they didn't want a 'pretty' or 'party' house. It works both ways, girls are far more educated these days than people give them credit for. I would say more specifically on this, but I do not want to offend anyone on what choices their daughters make. It's unfortunate to think that there are parents who think the only reason girls drop is because they didn't get a 'top' house. "top" is defined differently by many-lets not lump all these girls into being totally superficial.
  #177  
Old 08-23-2015, 01:14 AM
GoMizzou GoMizzou is offline
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I feel badly this board has gone from one that had been 100% totally supportive to one making opinions on girls that drop. We all want girls to stick it out to the end-but unfortunately-that's not always realistic. My daughter is in a very good position with her choices-I feel horrible for others that are not. Once you experience this first hand you have a different perspective. Yes-we want them to stick it out to the end-but unfortunately that's not always the best option for all. Lets get back to supporting-or at least trying to understand-others options. This board has been a wonderful resource long before I had someone starting recruitment--Please lets keep it positive and supportive!
  #178  
Old 08-23-2015, 02:15 AM
beagled1 beagled1 is offline
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Every girl should absolutely do what she believe is best for her. It's up to the people in the system, including me as an alum who loves it, to fix the system, not the PNMs. I guess I was just lamenting that so many girls miss out when there are spots available and wondering how to change ithat. I hate that girls end up disappointed.
  #179  
Old 08-23-2015, 03:17 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by GoMizzou View Post
And I am telling you-I would TOTALLY encourage my daughter-if she had not many options-to get that group together and pledge a house--it's to bad some of the pi chi leaders couldn't organize something like that with girls they knew were dropped or had one other option. Being in education all my life, I know that sometimes it takes some skilled coordinating to make something positive happen!
I love this. Those girls need to get together, take a week to regroup and appproach one of those groups who didn't do well in formal as a block. Because groups can still take up to quota even for a while after formal rush, and of course up to total any time they are under total.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beagled1 View Post

If Alabama really has fixed this, I want to know how. I hate to see so many young women miss out on a the sorority experience because of ... all this other junk.
I'm speaking as an absolute outsider to that system, but it seems to be more supportive, and I'm also going to say something that I'm sure will make more people than usual think that I'm off my nut. I think that issue that they had a couple years ago with the alumnae trying to cut girls and the collegian standing up and saying hell to the No was the best thing that could have ever happened. I think it showed that the sorority system was no longer the provenance of a select few and the people really were trying to change the status quo and make it more accepting and open. Also, they've been accepting a lot more out of state students who may be do not have the same preconceptions coming in that people who have lived there all their lives have.
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Last edited by 33girl; 08-23-2015 at 03:22 AM.
  #180  
Old 08-23-2015, 07:05 AM
pbear19 pbear19 is offline
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Please know that I am not disparaging any woman who chose to drop from recruitment! I can only imagine how much they are hurting. It's such an emotional roller coaster. My position is not one of throwing stones, but of heartache for the fact that they are missing out on an incredible life experience.

But please also know that I am not guessing about the numbers. No matter what rumors say, as of the exact time I posted last night, 9 of 10 women who were no longer participating had chosen to drop. I'm not saying they didn't have hard cuts. But they also still had at least one, if not more, invitations left. I'm not a mom (at least not of a PNM) I am an advisor. I checked the actual numbers on Campus Director right before I posted last night.

Hugs to all who are hurting!!
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