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08-18-2010, 09:55 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 11
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HOW TO HELP A FRIEND???
My friend went through fraternity recruitment and was very well liked by the different fraternities and was given his top picks. He went to a fraternity that I knew would bite him in the ass. It takes thick skin to join this frat. They are the athletic, cute, rich boys. Even if he was fitting in this was the frat that is more about social life, the right sorority girl, and being popular than brotherhood. Sure enough he ended up quitting after a brother backstabbed him out of jealousy. I was really proud of him for getting a bid because he is from here but had moved out of state for years. My problem is how to convince him that maybe it just wasn't meant for him. He tried to join the other frats that he had friends in and had initially wanted him but things were just awkward and deep down something didn't fit with him and them. It's hard to explain how you can be friends with someone but yet that you don't fit the image? He is really upset over how member's of the frats have said _______only got in bc of his 4.0 and nobody likes him. My friend agrees well that's not good for ___ but atleast he is in one. Another guy he is friends with went to school with a lot of his frat brothers and were never friends so it's like why can that dude join and not him?? It's hard for him because on paper everything is great, many family members who have been Greek (none chapters left on campus) but still a point to mention. I am having trouble helping him because I don't know how to explain that a homosexual latino was accepted into a top tier or a boy who was 1st in his family to go to college but not my friend. All I can tell him if you are friends with guys in it then that's the point not exactly being part of the fat. This is a competative school so I am thinking if he went back to where he lived maybe that would help? I am not trying to be rude but I know that many guys get in because they knew members for a long time. It just seems like bad luck for my friend and I feel bad for him when nobody I have ever known has been rejected from finding a place to fit in. Thanks for the advise if it isn't "oh go cry a river".
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08-18-2010, 09:59 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 11
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Just to be completly forward I think it is Karma. He had a chance to join some great frats but didn't because at the moment it was a "bad year". We all know frat popularity changes with each pledge class but what can you tell a freshman caught up on hype? He could be in a fraternity that would build the right college values but he passed because of now graduated popular opinions. Either if he deserved the Karma it still sucks he is missing out on so much in college!
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08-18-2010, 10:02 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: nasty and inebriated
Posts: 5,772
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
My friend went through fraternity recruitment and was very well liked by the different fraternities and was given his top picks. He went to a fraternity that I knew would bite him in the ass. It takes thick skin to join this frat. They are the athletic, cute, rich boys. Even if he was fitting in this was the frat that is more about social life, the right sorority girl, and being popular than brotherhood. Sure enough he ended up quitting after a brother backstabbed him out of jealousy. I was really proud of him for getting a bid because he is from here but had moved out of state for years. My problem is how to convince him that maybe it just wasn't meant for him. He tried to join the other frats that he had friends in and had initially wanted him but things were just awkward and deep down something didn't fit with him and them. It's hard to explain how you can be friends with someone but yet that you don't fit the image? He is really upset over how member's of the frats have said _______only got in bc of his 4.0 and nobody likes him. My friend agrees well that's not good for ___ but atleast he is in one. Another guy he is friends with went to school with a lot of his frat brothers and were never friends so it's like why can that dude join and not him?? It's hard for him because on paper everything is great, many family members who have been Greek (none chapters left on campus) but still a point to mention. I am having trouble helping him because I don't know how to explain that a homosexual latino was accepted into a top tier or a boy who was 1st in his family to go to college but not my friend. All I can tell him if you are friends with guys in it then that's the point not exactly being part of the fat. This is a competative school so I am thinking if he went back to where he lived maybe that would help? I am not trying to be rude but I know that many guys get in because they knew members for a long time. It just seems like bad luck for my friend and I feel bad for him when nobody I have ever known has been rejected from finding a place to fit in. Thanks for the advise if it isn't "oh go cry a river".
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Scratches head. Ok I'm having trouble understanding what you are trying to say.
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And he took a cup of coffee and gave thanks to God for it, saying, 'Each of you drink from it. This is my caffeine, which gives life.'
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08-18-2010, 10:06 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,552
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
My friend went through fraternity recruitment and was very well liked by the different fraternities and was given his top picks.
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Good
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He went to a fraternity that I knew would bite him in the ass. It takes thick skin to join this frat.
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Bad.
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They are the athletic, cute, rich boys.
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Boring.
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Even if he was fitting in this was the frat that is more about social life, the right sorority girl, and being popular than brotherhood. Sure enough he ended up quitting after a brother backstabbed him out of jealousy.
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Bad.
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I was really proud of him for getting a bid because he is from here but had moved out of state for years. My problem is how to convince him that maybe it just wasn't meant for him.
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Why?
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He tried to join the other frats that he had friends in and had initially wanted him but things were just awkward and deep down something didn't fit with him and them. It's hard to explain how you can be friends with someone but yet that you don't fit the image?
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No?
Quote:
He is really upset over how member's of the frats have said _______only got in bc of his 4.0 and nobody likes him. My friend agrees well that's not good for ___ but atleast he is in one.
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Bitter.
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Another guy he is friends with went to school with a lot of his frat brothers and were never friends so it's like why can that dude join and not him??
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Because.
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It's hard for him because on paper everything is great, many family members who have been Greek (none chapters left on campus) but still a point to mention.
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So?
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I am having trouble helping him because I don't know how to explain
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Obvious.
Really? D<
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was accepted into a top tier or a boy who was 1st in his family to go to college but not my friend.
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Bitter.
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All I can tell him if you are friends with guys in it then that's the point not exactly being part of the fat.
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Typo
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This is a competitive school so I am thinking if he went back to where he lived maybe that would help?
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Why?
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I am not trying to be rude but I know that many guys get in because they knew members for a long time.
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*sigh*
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It just seems like bad luck for my friend and I feel bad for him when nobody I have ever known has been rejected from finding a place to fit in.
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Lies.
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Thanks for the advise if it isn't "oh go cry a river".
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Oh go cry a river.
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From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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08-18-2010, 10:07 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 11
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How do I make him feel better? I see no reason for someone to not find atleast 1 place to be and so it boils down to he has this huge regret for going one place and it not working out. I don't have the answers for how a homosexual or a guy who gets in bc he has a 4.0 and yet my friend can't be part of something. Like my friend does checks and balances. It isn't like there are openly things against him like say going to a conservative school and being homosexual and still joining a top tier frat.
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08-18-2010, 10:07 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,552
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
Just to be completly forward I think it is Karma. He had a chance to join some great frats but didn't because at the moment it was a "bad year". We all know frat popularity changes with each pledge class but what can you tell a freshman caught up on hype? He could be in a fraternity that would build the right college values but he passed because of now graduated popular opinions. Either if he deserved the Karma it still sucks he is missing out on so much in college!
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Fail.
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From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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08-18-2010, 10:08 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,552
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
How do I make him feel better? I see no reason for someone to not find atleast 1 place to be and so it boils down to he has this huge regret for going one place and it not working out. I don't have the answers for how a homosexual or a guy who gets in bc he has a 4.0 and yet my friend can't be part of something. Like my friend does checks and balances. It isn't like there are openly things against him like say going to a conservative school and being homosexual and still joining a top tier frat.
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You're both losers who think being gay is a bad thing.
Also you say "homosexual" a lot.
__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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08-18-2010, 10:10 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 11
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I would be bitter also if my friend had a friend who was accepted into a frat with guys he knew a long time and they didn't like him but they were all close with my friend. That kind of stuff doesn't add up.
Maybe I make it confusing. My friend is guy A who is close with guys B but guy C went to school with guys B and they weren't friends. Guy C and guys B are now frat brothers but not my friend who has close family ties to them.
Last edited by blondie_babe; 08-18-2010 at 10:13 PM.
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08-18-2010, 10:12 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 11
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Don't try to play like everyday in a southern state does a gay minority get into a heavily ranked frat. I don't care how you feel on homsexuality but around here it isn't common or something accepted and I am fine with my deep rooted Sunday revivials. Therefore this makes my friend in a very heterocentric society feel less of a person.
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08-18-2010, 10:14 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: In the fraternal Twin Cities
Posts: 6,433
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Drolefille, I am so glad you undertood the poster, because I got lost in the essay.
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Born: Epsilon Xi / Zeta Chi, SIUC
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08-18-2010, 10:20 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: State of Imagination
Posts: 3,400
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
My friend went through fraternity recruitment and was very well liked by the different fraternities and was given his top picks. He went to a fraternity that I knew would bite him in the ass. It takes thick skin to join this frat. They are the athletic, cute, rich boys. Even if he was fitting in this was the frat that is more about social life, the right sorority girl, and being popular than brotherhood. Sure enough he ended up quitting after a brother backstabbed him out of jealousy. I was really proud of him for getting a bid because he is from here but had moved out of state for years. My problem is how to convince him that maybe it just wasn't meant for him. He tried to join the other frats that he had friends in and had initially wanted him but things were just awkward and deep down something didn't fit with him and them. It's hard to explain how you can be friends with someone but yet that you don't fit the image? He is really upset over how member's of the frats have said _______only got in bc of his 4.0 and nobody likes him. My friend agrees well that's not good for ___ but atleast he is in one. Another guy he is friends with went to school with a lot of his frat brothers and were never friends so it's like why can that dude join and not him?? It's hard for him because on paper everything is great, many family members who have been Greek (none chapters left on campus) but still a point to mention. I am having trouble helping him because I don't know how to explain that a homosexual latino was accepted into a top tier or a boy who was 1st in his family to go to college but not my friend. All I can tell him if you are friends with guys in it then that's the point not exactly being part of the fat. This is a competative school so I am thinking if he went back to where he lived maybe that would help? I am not trying to be rude but I know that many guys get in because they knew members for a long time. It just seems like bad luck for my friend and I feel bad for him when nobody I have ever known has been rejected from finding a place to fit in. Thanks for the advise if it isn't "oh go cry a river".
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
Just to be completly forward I think it is Karma. He had a chance to join some great frats but didn't because at the moment it was a "bad year". We all know frat popularity changes with each pledge class but what can you tell a freshman caught up on hype? He could be in a fraternity that would build the right college values but he passed because of now graduated popular opinions. Either if he deserved the Karma it still sucks he is missing out on so much in college!
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It's taking a lot not to comment on your writing skills and stay on topic, and I won't, but I'm not sure what you are asking us. There is nothing that you can do for a dude who chose the "wrong" fraternity, got in a spat with a brother and then quit. Honestly, it sounds like you're actually the guy, pretending you are a concerned female friend.
As for you blatant racist and prejudiced remarks, I'm dumbfounded. In your mind, being Latino, homosexual, the first in one's family to go to college, or the first in one's family to go Greek makes someone less worthy of brotherhood. I know that there are still too many people who think that "their kind" is supreme over all others, and that only the privileged/white/local people from highly educated and history in the Greek system deserve to be in a fraternity (and I'm guessing sorority), but do you have to say it out loud here?
You make me sick.
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08-18-2010, 10:20 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,552
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
I would be bitter also if my friend had a friend who was accepted into a frat with guys he knew a long time and they didn't like him but they were all close with my friend. That kind of stuff doesn't add up.
Maybe I make it confusing. My friend is guy A who is close with guys B but guy C went to school with guys B and they weren't friends. Guy C and guys B are now frat brothers but not my friend who has close family ties to them.
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Your friend joined a fraternity and dropped out. He then tried to join others and didn't get in.
"Your friend" sounds like he's already been told he's not going to fit in and isn't listening.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
Don't try to play like everyday in a southern state does a gay minority get into a heavily ranked frat. I don't care how you feel on homsexuality but around here it isn't common or something accepted and I am fine with my deep rooted Sunday revivials. Therefore this makes my friend in a very heterocentric society feel less of a person.
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He feels like less of a person because a gay guy was picked over him? Yeah the fraternities are missing out on a really class act. That means your friend has issues, not the "southern Sunday revival fraternities" for choosing a "gay minority"
__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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08-18-2010, 10:22 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,552
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladygreek
Drolefille, I am so glad you undertood the poster, because I got lost in the essay.
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For a limited definition of "understood."
But it's what i do.
__________________
From the SigmaTo the K!
Polyamorous, Pansexual and Proud of it!
It Gets Better
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08-18-2010, 10:24 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 11
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It is just complicated. He has that seemingly common attitude of legacies. He is nothing unless he is as great as his family syndrome. Just to add to his long list of problems being the only non-greek is like another failure. I really do feel bad for him because it just seems unfair to have so many struggles.
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08-18-2010, 10:28 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: State of Imagination
Posts: 3,400
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
How do I make him feel better?
>> You can't. He needs to be a man and figure out other ways (or other fraternities to rush) to make himself happy.
I see no reason for someone to not find atleast 1 place to be and so it boils down to he has this huge regret for going one place and it not working out. I don't have the answers for how a homosexual or a guy who gets in bc he has a 4.0 and yet my friend can't be part of something.
>> He was. He quit. Maybe the homosexual Latino who is first in his family to go to college and join a fraternity came across as a better potential brother than your friend with a 4.0.
Like my friend does checks and balances. It isn't like there are openly things against him like say going to a conservative school and being homosexual and still joining a top tier frat.
>> Maybe he's boring? Not fun? Not friendly? Maybe he's a douche.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
I would be bitter also if my friend had a friend who was accepted into a frat with guys he knew a long time and they didn't like him but they were all close with my friend. That kind of stuff doesn't add up.
>> You're not making a lot of sense.
Maybe I make it confusing. My friend is guy A who is close with guys B but guy C went to school with guys B and they weren't friends. Guy C and guys B are now frat brothers but not my friend who has close family ties to them.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
Don't try to play like everyday in a southern state does a gay minority get into a heavily ranked frat. I don't care how you feel on homsexuality but around here it isn't common or something accepted and I am fine with my deep rooted Sunday revivials. Therefore this makes my friend in a very heterocentric society feel less of a person.
>> Have fun at your revivals pretending to be a good person when you treat your fellow human beings like shit because they are different than you. Maybe not to their faces - but behind their backs, which in my mind, is hypocritical. Don't hide behind a history of ignorance and intolerance, and especially not your religion. The boys in the "top tier frat" thought enough of the poor gay Latino without pedigree papers to pledge him.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie_babe
It is just complicated. He has that seemingly common attitude of legacies. He is nothing unless he is as great as his family syndrome. Just to add to his long list of problems being the only non-greek is like another failure. I really do feel bad for him because it just seems unfair to have so many struggles.
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Laughing my freaking ass off. Not being Greek is not a struggle. Oh, you ignorant child. Bless your empty heart.
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