Things that annoy you when watching porn

[moe.ron]

My major pet peeve:

Random guys and girls just sitting around, fully cloth, watching other people having sex. They're not part of the crew, just random people watching and talking. I think it's a recent thing cause i don't remember seeing it in the 90s.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by SexySockPuppet

Wait - you try and follow the story lines?

Hey -- some of the story lines from the majors are actually pretty good lol

It's the "Hey! I can't pay for this pizza. Can we make...other arrangements?" that's shitty

[LXA SE285]

Real-life lesbians don't have acrylic nails.

[AlphaFrog]

This whole thread:

[I Phi 1963]

I don't know what kind of porn y'all are watching, but the ones I watch are nothing like the ones you all have been posting about. The porn y'all watch doesn't even seem like porn. It sounds like a two hour soap, with 5 minutes of fuckn. The ones I watch, they talk for like a minute, then all the oral sex starts, which I fast forward through. Then they start fuckn. I fast forward through the boring positions, up until dude is tappin it from the back or flat out anal. Check out West Coast Erotic Fly Girls. That's the shit. I have all four volumes. Based on what I've been reading, y'all post like a bunch of 15 year olds, that just hit puberty, all excited about the fuck scene in Porky's.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by APhi4Ever

I get annoyed with the cheesy story lines. I mean, come on! You have to admit, some of them are RIDICULOUS!

Originally Posted by SexySockPuppet

Wait - you try and follow the story lines?

Gotta agree here. One does not usually watch porn looking for brilliant story lines.

Although I have to commend the writers of "Sex Trek" for some great dialog:

Captain Quirk: Lieutenant Uwhore, we are going to penetrate Uranus.
Lieutenant Uwhore: Say WHAT?!

And I'm suddenly regretting that my username clearly indicates my sorority affiliation.

[tld221]

bumping for the LOLz and... don't ask how I found this thread. I promise I didn't go looking for it!

Originally Posted by pshsx1

Spitting. #yeahIsaidit

The first time I saw this I gagged and had to red-x that mess! I also hate the sound of hawking loogies so I was totally done after that.

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Hey -- some of the story lines from the majors are actually pretty good lol

It's the "Hey! I can't pay for this pizza. Can we make...other arrangements?" that's shitty

Right! Not that I expect pron to have quality dialogue/plots, but I'd rather these chicks set it out for pleasure than for pizza. Also... you were ordering a PIZZA! wasn't you hungry 5 seconds ago? Now you're hungry and the pizza is gonna get cold.

Originally Posted by LXA SE285

Real-life lesbians don't have acrylic nails.

Ha! Touche. I love how the manicures are always a priority but the hair/makeup is hit or miss. Usually a miss.

[ASUADPi]

I guess my biggest pet peeve is that porn is made for men and not women. Women watch porn too. With that being said, I find it so annoying that when they (the "actors") start oral the man gives the girl maybe 2-5 minutes (if that) of oral and then there is about 5-10 minutes of the girl giving him a blow job. Really! Women do enjoy getting pleasure from sex just as much as the man. Sometimes it seems like the women are "faking" their moans because they aren't getting off, but by god the man will.

I saw a porn, called The Friend Zone, that had a decent plot but the writer included additional sex scenes (since it is porn) for characters who had absolutely no bearing on the plot in the first place. That just seemed stupid to me. But in general, porn has no plot, it's about sex.

As for the random people watching I think that came out of College Fuck Fest as that is what they do, go to campuses (parties) and convince people to have sex in front of everyone else. I'm sure their given money.

[AOIILisa]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

So, once my husband showed me this p0rn0 that featured a French girl named Penelope (pronounced to rhyme with cantaloupe) having different encounters in locales throughout Paris.

And they did a tight close up shot of her goods while she was in a grassy area at a park, and there were all these flies buzzing around her anus.

Not sure why anyone would be into that, but COME ON! I couldn't stop laughing and it kind of ruined the moment.

I can't stop laughing right now!!

[honeychile]

I made the mistake of reading these aloud to my DH.

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

So, once my husband showed me this p0rn0 that featured a French girl named Penelope (pronounced to rhyme with cantaloupe) having different encounters in locales throughout Paris.

And they did a tight close up shot of her goods while she was in a grassy area at a park, and there were all these flies buzzing around her anus.

Not sure why anyone would be into that, but COME ON! I couldn't stop laughing and it kind of ruined the moment.

Also, since I'm already here - we inherited the last few issues of a Playboy subscription of the former owner of our house when we moved in. One of the centerfolds wasn't completely clean shaven in her muffular region (hc's bold) and the next month, there were two pages of letters - half the writers were pro fur, the other half were anti fur. I never realized it went that deep.

This had him actually roar with laughter!

Originally Posted by aephi alum

LOL @ "muffular region". A bit of fur is not necessarily bad, but if it looks like there's a tribble living between your legs, that's bad. (And that goes for the men too. Your ballsac should not look like a tribble.)

And this actually took his attention away from the Blackhawks v. Kings game!

I might have to break down and watch one of these some day!

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by honeychile

And this actually took his attention away from the Blackhawks v. Kings game!

OK... OK... lol... trying to breathe here... I have to be able to breathe before I can resuscitate my husband... lol ...