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  #31  
Old 06-25-2007, 02:56 PM
kathykd2005 kathykd2005 is offline
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Originally Posted by cuteASAbug View Post
Maybe this girl was asked not to show up to recruitment not because of her appearance but because of her personality? If a girl is overweight or not good with personal grooming, you can "suggest" some tips or give her a makeover all you want, but it's not going to make up for her personality. A sorority can control what its members wear during recruitment, however, it has no way of controlling the things that come out of its members' mouths.
True, but it's still unfair for her to be excluded from recruitment, whether it's because she's fat, or because she has a shy, awkward, or strange personality. She is still a SISTER. Some people take sisterhood more seriously than others, but still, if she is in the chapter, why should she be left out of recruiting new members? There could be another quality young woman that relates to her personality, and can add to the chapter's personality in ways that the outgoing, beautiful, talkative ladies cannot.
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  #32  
Old 06-25-2007, 02:56 PM
AlwaysSAI AlwaysSAI is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cuteASAbug View Post
Maybe this girl was asked not to show up to recruitment not because of her appearance but because of her personality? If a girl is overweight or not good with personal grooming, you can "suggest" some tips or give her a makeover all you want, but it's not going to make up for her personality. A sorority can control what its members wear during recruitment, however, it has no way of controlling the things that come out of its members' mouths.
I'll entertain that thought. But, that leaves me with just another question. If she has a horrible personality and oral diarrhea how did she recieve a bid in the first place?
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  #33  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:02 PM
fantASTic fantASTic is offline
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Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI View Post
I'll entertain that thought. But, that leaves me with just another question. If she has a horrible personality and oral diarrhea how did she recieve a bid in the first place?
Good question. I'd keep in mind that their numbers have been very low recently.

We really don't have enough information, with this biased perspective from just the one girl.
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  #34  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:03 PM
axidgl axidgl is offline
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The SADDEST part about this all, is that this is not an isolated incident. This occurs ALL the time-- with chapters that are struggling or not. I have heard accounts from women from different STRONG chapters that have been forced to "hide in the kitchen" because they aren't the "face of XYZ" or they don't "fit the image of ABC." Out of 200 women in a chapter, these women are the 3 or 4 who don't meet their new members until bid day, but who have worked just as hard behind the scenes.

The fact that this occurs more often than most people realize just goes to show the culture of greek organizations. The fact that it happens shows that people allow looks and size to matter to them. If it REALLY didn't matter to PNM's, why would the chapters still do it?
I think most of us here on GC don't have the "stereotypical sorority girl" mindset and we hold ourselves to higher standards than that.

But the fact is, at some schools, in our very own chapters at those schools, this is the NORM.

Last edited by axidgl; 06-25-2007 at 03:05 PM.
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  #35  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:03 PM
khlkcca khlkcca is offline
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I wish I knew the whole story. However, it seems to me that this could have been handled by the membership chair when she started making assignments. Asking someone to not show up at all really seems to be pushing them out the door.
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  #36  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:05 PM
cuteASAbug cuteASAbug is offline
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I'm still close with Laura, a girl from my high school who was a couple of years older than me. She joined a sorority in college. When she was a junior, a girl went through recruitment (we'll call her Alexis) who seemed overly enthusiastic and tended to turn people away from her. Enough of my friend's chapter figured that she was just nervous about recruitment and voted to put her on the bid list. After bid day, they discovered that Alexis wasn't just acting that way because of recruitment. When she became an active, she would talk about inappropriate topics at recruitment and generally, every PNM that she talked to would not come back to Laura's chapter for the following round. After several semesters of this, she was asked to stay in the back during recruitment or not show up because PNM's were talking about her and she was hurting their recruitment efforts. Alexis was a size 16. This had nothing to do with her size.
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  #37  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:06 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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I have to go with AnchorAlumna and FanASTic on this one. First, we haven't heard the whole story. The woman's overweight but she could be a total jerk and maybe she dropped through the cracks and got a bid in a weird way. Don't laugh, I've even seen it happen to competitive sororities--these girls are called slip-throughs. Now if it is only because she's overweight, that's mean.

The other thing is, as AnchorAlum says: teenagers (ie, PNMs) are often very shallow. You know how many times people have said on here that they didn't want of be part of the fat-girl sorority. I suupose that's where her group is coming from. I saw a sorority's page in a rush booklet a few years back and it displayed a picture of the last year's pledge class; over half were extremely overweight. I told my husband that that sorority had probably just signed their death warrant and sure enough, they were gone in no time.

No, I'm not saying that what this sorority did was right. I'm just trying to figure out where they're coming from..but I have to wonder if we've heard the whole story.
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  #38  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:08 PM
kathykd2005 kathykd2005 is offline
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Originally Posted by cuteASAbug View Post
I'm still close with Laura, a girl from my high school who was a couple of years older than me. She joined a sorority in college. When she was a junior, a girl went through recruitment (we'll call her Alexis) who seemed overly enthusiastic and tended to turn people away from her. Enough of my friend's chapter figured that she was just nervous about recruitment and voted to put her on the bid list. After bid day, they discovered that Alexis wasn't just acting that way because of recruitment. When she became an active, she would talk about inappropriate topics at recruitment and generally, every PNM that she talked to would not come back to Laura's chapter for the following round. After several semesters of this, she was asked to stay in the back during recruitment or not show up because PNM's were talking about her and she was hurting their recruitment efforts. Alexis was a size 16. This had nothing to do with her size.
Did they TALK to her about it, or simply decide on their own to do this? That would be the difference in the situation. If they truly cared about their sisterhood, they would have spoken to her, even offered to help her with finding better topics to discuss and which ones to stay away from--instead of shoving her in the back... Again, that's just my opinion, though.
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  #39  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:12 PM
cuteASAbug cuteASAbug is offline
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All I know of this story is what I was told by my friend. However, after going through formal recruitment, I think it's fair to say that it's a stressful time for both the sororities and the PNM's and sometimes, a sorority just doesn't have enough members so that one of them can "babysit" another sister to make sure that she's not saying things that are inappropriate or scare off PNM's. It may not be the most politically correct way of doing things, but as several posters above me have stated, not all PNM's have the most politically ways of choosing a sorority.
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  #40  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:21 PM
kathykd2005 kathykd2005 is offline
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But, again, as other posters have said, are the girls who choose their sorority in a flippant way the young women that will keep the sisterhood alive and thriving? Or are they the ones that will quit after a few tough recruitments, or another ridiculous reason?
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  #41  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:25 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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From what I gather in the original post, this ISN'T the chapter or the chapter's prez or exec board asking this girl to stay away from rush activities...it's a national consultant. That is, it's not someone who's around these girls on a daily basis or knows what they're like in a rush situation. Therefore, it's understandable that the girl has assumed this is based on her size.
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  #42  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:31 PM
Drolefille Drolefille is offline
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I'll freely raise my hand and say I'm not a rusher. I HATE everything that comes with rushing. So what do/did I do? The computer stuff. It worked because they talked to me and it fit both the needs of our chapter (I'd have been really really awkward rushing girls) and my needs.

But you don't just say "fat girl, stay out of the room"
That said there may indeed be more to this story. But I'm only working on what was posted.
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  #43  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:34 PM
kathykd2005 kathykd2005 is offline
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But you don't just say "fat girl, stay out of the room"
hahhaha

And lucky me, I was always the one people asked to talk to PNMs no one else wanted to talk to, because THEY brought up inappropriate topics. I could talk my way out of a shoe; all I did was steer the conversation back to the chapter, not her.
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  #44  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:36 PM
Drolefille Drolefille is offline
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Originally Posted by kathykd2005 View Post
hahhaha

And lucky me, I was always the one people asked to talk to PNMs no one else wanted to talk to, because THEY brought up inappropriate topics. I could talk my way out of a shoe; all I did was steer the conversation back to the chapter, not her.
Since i didn't have to recruit, I was always a PNM during practice. I liked being "THAT" PNM to push my sisters. Better that they got it from me first than they got it from somene else. Plus they could reach out and slap me for being annoying, whereas a PNM would probably not appreciate that.
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  #45  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:38 PM
kathykd2005 kathykd2005 is offline
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Since i didn't have to recruit, I was always a PNM during practice. I liked being "THAT" PNM to push my sisters. Better that they got it from me first than they got it from somene else. Plus they could reach out and slap me for being annoying, whereas a PNM would probably not appreciate that.
I LOVED doing that... like bringing up partying and guys in practice to see what they'd say or do. Funny stuff. Memories!
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