Released from FMR twice. Am I doing something wrong?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by elizababe1

My school has one NPC sorority, and it's for Asian women (I'm white)

Wait, what? Do you mean non-NPC sorority? You mentioned several NPC sororities that had chapters at your school in your other posts.

[elizababe1]

sorry, yeah, i meant non-npc

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by elizababe1

My school has one non-NPC sorority, and it's for Asian women (I'm white)

Is there a way to not come across as desperate?
I can't let myself give up. It's my dream to be a sister.

Yes. Simply put: don't be desperate.

Unfortunately, that's what you are at this point, and there's no other way to put this because it is a fact.

It appears that you are hell bent on becoming a member of an NPC sorority at your campus. So far it's been futile and given the facts presented it will likely continue to be an unsatisfactory pursuit of an impossible goal. There are some things that just are not going to happen in this lifetime for me, or for you. Accept that. Move on. There are so many possibilities in life if you will shift your focus from the one thing that you cannot have, and look at everything else that you can have.

What exactly is it about sorority membership that is making this into a Quixotic quest for you? Rhetorical question, meant to get you to look inward. Please go back and reread what irishpipes wrote.

[navane]

Originally Posted by elizababe1

Is there a way to not come across as desperate?
I can't let myself give up. It's my dream to be a sister.

Let's re-frame this in a way that I hope will make more sense to you. Let's say that wanting to be in a sorority is just like wanting very badly to date a boy in your biology class. You hung out with him one time for coffee and he didn't invite you for a second date. Then you went to biology study group because you're hoping to get more face time with him and he's still not interested. Then you tried to talk to him at the football game and he wasn't interested.


Now go back and re-read what you've said in terms of trying to date the boy from biology class:

"Is there a way to not come across as desperate? I can't let myself give up. It's my dream to be his girfriend."


Do you see how creepy and desperate that sounds?


It's the same way with women. Sorority women don't want invite some girl who keeps saying, "Pleeeeease!!!! I want to be like you! I'll even change my outfit and get better hobbies for you!" Either you have what it takes or you don't. We've tried to be kind to you and you don't seem to "get it". A sorority is not the student organization for you.

[elizababe1]

okay, since everyone is in agreement telling me to give up, what else is there? i mean, i guess i'll never have a house and a big and twill letters but i wish i had some sort of approximation

can't do non-npc, there are no non-npc sororities that aren't racially affiliated on my campus.

[sigmagirl2000]

I see with a quick search that there's a chapter of Alpha Phi Omega, have you checked them out?

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by elizababe1

okay, since everyone is in agreement telling me to give up, what else is there? i mean, i guess i'll never have a house and a big and twill letters but i wish i had some sort of approximation

can't do non-npc, there are no non-npc sororities that aren't racially affiliated on my campus.

Life is going to spread all kinds of 'isht' on you. The trick is to take steps up and beyond the 'isht'.

Only YOU can decide the who, what, when, where, why and how of your life. No one on this board is as fully qualified as YOU to decide what it is YOU should do.

We don't know YOU. We are not YOU.

Take full control of YOUR life to truly enjoy seeing where you can go.

[andthen]

In short to answer your question yes. Granted your tenacity and willingness to try and problem solve is to be commended. I unfortunately based on your class standing and noting that you haven’t made a match with a group, the general consensus is to pick up and move forward. Yes it hurts I’m sure but college still has plenty of other opportunities for involvement and I hope you have and will continue to find and enjoy those opportunities. I know that’s probably the advice you want to read but this much I’m sure of is those of us here don’t have any direct influence on how and why Sally Sue is selected over Mary Anne.

[elizababe1]

does aphio only want freshmen too?

[Theta1234]

I went to their website and they have a form on it that you fill out and it is sent to the chapter President and membership Vice-President. If you haven’t heard back from them in 10 days, it said to contact their national office. It is all online under “prospective members.” I’m excited for you and the potential you offer this world.

[elizababe1]

My school's aphio chapter requires you to go to four chapter events in order to apply for a bid. I didn't go to any of them, because i was going to all the pre-fmr events. I don't think they do spring rush. Would they even bother looking at a senior's application?

[sigmagirl2000]

Why not contact them and find out? We don't know how the chapter of APhiO works on your campus.

[elizababe1]

i should wait to contact them, right? their application is due tonight and i don't exactly want to pop up like "hey, i'm a junior who knows one person in the chapter and i didn't go to any of your pre-recruitment events but can i apply"

[navane]

Originally Posted by elizababe1

My school's aphio chapter requires you to go to four chapter events in order to apply for a bid. I didn't go to any of them, because i was going to all the pre-fmr events. I don't think they do spring rush. Would they even bother looking at a senior's application?

Originally Posted by elizababe1

i should wait to contact them, right? their application is due tonight and i don't exactly want to pop up like "hey, i'm a junior who knows one person in the chapter and i didn't go to any of your pre-recruitment events but can i apply"

If you attend the university I suspect, all of your questions are answered right there on the APO chapter website under the "Join" and "Rush" tabs. Scroll down and read the very last two sentences.

[elizababe1]

My question is, I would think it would be pretty disrespectful to contact the recruitment leader on the last day of official recruitment and ask about potential recruitment in the future, despite not having gone to any of the chapter's pre-recruitment events. Am I correct to reach that conclusion?