Florida Man Attempts To Cash $368 Billion Check

[moe.ron]

Jeff Waters walked into a Bank of America Monday morning and attempted to cash a check for $368,000,000,000 dollars. The check Waters had written to ‘Cash’ was reportedly from U.S. Bank of Idaho and issued in the 90s. Tellers at the Jacksonville bank were immediately suspicious.

Waters explained to bank officials a homeless man named Tito Watts sold him the blank check several months ago for $100 and told Waters the check would clear for any amount of money that Waters wanted to write it for.

Waters wanted the $368 billion to start an Italian restaurant.

“It’s always been my dream to own the best Italian restaurant in the earth,” Waters told police. “I’m 10% Italian. Cooking authentic Italian food is in my blood. I had planned to make the restaurant 80 million sq. feet and able to accommodated (sic) 30 million eaters at once, plus it was gonna be totally underwater so people could look at sharks while they ate. But the bank wouldn’t give me my money they owed me. Tito said the check was good for any amount I wanted to write it for. So blame Tito, not me. I’m as innocent as a schoolgirl.”

In addition to a forgery count, Waters was charged with unlawfully carrying Chinese throwing stars and possessing bath salts. He was released after posting $23,000 bail.

http://moron.com/florida-man-attempt...billion-check/

Go big or go home

[candygirl200413]

I totally thought this was an onion article, not going to lie.

[Sciencewoman]

I love the way he had to turn the check around to write the rest of the zeros.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by candygirl200413

I totally thought this was an onion article, not going to lie.

Florida is one real-life Onion article.

I can say that because I was born and raised there.

[Kevin]

Possessing bath salts is a crime? It looks like he needs to take a nice bubble bath.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Possessing bath salts is a crime?

It is in Kentucky. I know drug patterns vary from region to region, but bath salts have been illegal in KY for years now. It's alarming what people will do to themselves for a high.

[Kevin]

It's one of those things though where it seems the statute would have to be so ambiguous, it wouldn't give anyone great notice as to whether they were violating it.

That said, while it's all fun to joke about cases like this, this guy is probably a victim of addiction and/or mental illness. I'm not sure mocking him is in super good taste.

[honeychile]

How did he get my income tax refund check?

[IndianaSigKap]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Possessing bath salts is a crime?

Those things are no joke. A murder happened in my city where the man was high on them and ate portions the victim's brain and heart.

[pinksequins]

It's sometimes difficult to discern tone in a post, but I hope Kevin is being sarcastic in post 5? (Mr. Bubble is not the problem.)

[pinksequins]

Honeychile, it's Tito's fault!

[AnchorAlum]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Florida is one real-life Onion article.

I can say that because I was born and raised there.

Munchkin, you and me both! But I also have to say - wait for it - its full of people who moved here from other places and were totally weird before they got here.

Hey, when I was growing up there were more alligators than there were people. It was a much nicer place.