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  #61  
Old 06-20-2020, 12:57 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 View Post
But if their alumnae were paying attention, they'd know that it isn't tied to that. Go back and read the Winter 2019 Anchora posted by DGalumna. It seems apparent that this isn't a decision that emerged out of thin air.
I read it. And whether you were “paying attention” or not, whether they had this on their schedule back in March 2019 to announce this change on this date, you gotta read the room.

If this is what they want to do that’s fine but regardless of how long this has been being discussed, it’ll come across how it comes across.
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  #62  
Old 06-20-2020, 01:17 PM
DGalumna DGalumna is offline
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Popping in one last time to thank the members who have responded publicly and privately with empathy and politeness and a willingness to understand. My goal is never to cause harm or sow discord but rather to provide a different perspective whether it apparently may be wanted or not.

A few things I do want to note that have come up:

1) Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure the Delta Gamma ritual has been tweaked in the past in order to eliminate or adjust pieces that may have not been taken properly. I've attended a number of initiations beyond my initial chapter as an advisor/friend of advisors and I can't say there has been a deep change in meaning and the ritual itself still resonates. So again this is work that they have been doing for a long time and is not a reactionary or virtue signaling measure and has spanned more than one generation of our Council. That may have more to do with what our ritual consists of and I obviously have not and have no desire to read any other organization's rituals who may have less room to adjust things. That is none of my business and is between you and your organization and your ritiuals.

2) One of the changes that has come that I don't necessarily agree with is the retirement of the option to do a lei ceremony for preference. I LOVED that ceremony. It moved me to tears when I attended as a freshman who wasn't sure if Greek life was for her. My undergraduate chapter even had a woman who was of Hawaiian descent and led the ceremony each year I was there. I spoke to her about it and she agreed that it was a bit reactionary and she didn't necessarily see it as "cultural appropriation", but understood that it may not read as well from other perspectives and if there was a reason to change it then she supports it. They've enlisted a variety of women to help them script a new ceremony that is wholly Delta Gamma and does not pull from other cultures. That said I'm still not removing my carefully dried lei from its shadowbox in my apartment any time soon.

3) Like it was mentioned, the legacy policy has been under discussion for longer than the last few weeks. I know friends who served as advisors who got screamed at by alumnae early in the morning when giving the courtesy call to let them know their daughter/granddaughter/sister was dropped. I know my chapter's president the year I joined was harassed over the phone and by email because a woman's daughter made it to Preferences and CHOSE another chapter (because obviously their membership selection was faulty if her daughter would willingly choose to chart her own path with a group of women who fit what she wanted out of a sorority). Regardless of how you feel about a legacy policy it is NOT okay to treat another woman let alone someone who is your sister that way.

So maybe the legacy policy feels reactionary to you. You may think it's a decision made lightly in response to what is going on in America. That is every much your right. It is also my right to have my own feelings, to admire the work DG has been doing for a long time, and to voice why I believe in what it's doing. Being at the top of the Empire State building is simply a different view and just as the woman on the top can see a wider picture she may very well miss important things that are going on below. And besides, if you ask around most people will tell you the view is better from Top of the Rock.

Thank you to those who have chosen to share and engage in debate in productive ways. I appreciate you and am proud to be your sister/Panhellenic sister. But I've said my piece and I have no more to add that will add to this conversation.

Last edited by DGalumna; 06-20-2020 at 04:18 PM.
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  #63  
Old 06-20-2020, 01:21 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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On top of the Empire State Building, we can see it all. Quite well. Adios.
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  #64  
Old 06-20-2020, 01:25 PM
TLLK TLLK is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
I read it. And whether you were “paying attention” or not, whether they had this on their schedule back in March 2019 to announce this change on this date, you gotta read the room.

If this is what they want to do that’s fine but regardless of how long this has been being discussed, it’ll come across how it comes across.

I agree and I am concerned that the timing is affecting the reception especially since 2020 has been an extremely challenging year for so many across the U.S. and the globe. We're entering into a school year that has families stressed regarding their student(s)' health, housing, in-person/virtual/hybrid instruction, and financial support. Recruitment for 2020 will be a very unique situation for all involved.



With hindsight typically being 20-20 (no pun intended) IMHO perhaps a year's delay in announcing legacy policy coupled with an incremental roll out of the policy change regarding our legacies would have been a better way forward.
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  #65  
Old 06-20-2020, 03:55 PM
AnchorAlumna AnchorAlumna is offline
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Originally Posted by ForrestGrump View Post
As for lots of DG's being upset about this, either they aren't expressing it or they aren't on social media.
I think they don't dare express themselves. You're liable to get attacked or shamed or ridiculed.
Within the last two weeks, we've had so many changes and bold political proclamations, my head is swimming. Not to mention the upcoming completely new and unprecedented methods of recruitment that we're fixin' to try out.
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  #66  
Old 06-20-2020, 04:08 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Thank you Sallie for the video link. I found it very illuminating.
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  #67  
Old 06-20-2020, 04:41 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
I think they don't dare express themselves. You're liable to get attacked or shamed or ridiculed.
Within the last two weeks, we've had so many changes and bold political proclamations, my head is swimming. Not to mention the upcoming completely new and unprecedented methods of recruitment that we're fixin' to try out.
Exactly....
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  #68  
Old 06-20-2020, 04:43 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
I think they don't dare express themselves. You're liable to get attacked or shamed or ridiculed.
AnchorAlumna, I saw that during the pile-ons. No respect at all. This is why I expect that many women will simply withdraw their support.

I agree with FSUZeta! Thank you, TriDeltaSallie for the eye-opening video!
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  #69  
Old 06-20-2020, 04:50 PM
ForrestGrump ForrestGrump is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
I think they don't dare express themselves. You're liable to get attacked or shamed or ridiculed.
Within the last two weeks, we've had so many changes and bold political proclamations, my head is swimming. Not to mention the upcoming completely new and unprecedented methods of recruitment that we're fixin' to try out.
Kind of like how DGAlumna was treated here? Yeah, I see how that works.
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  #70  
Old 06-20-2020, 04:59 PM
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DGAlumna started out very condescending--kind of like. "Ok, all you clueless underlings," and actually said at first that only the older people were rude. Um, no.
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  #71  
Old 06-20-2020, 05:45 PM
Sen's Revenge Sen's Revenge is offline
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Originally Posted by DGalumna View Post
I made an account just to comment on this.

I am a relatively young alumna (late 20s). I come from a mid-sized chapter (~150) at a well regarded private school. I have been active in my city’s alumnae group and have done some work with undergraduate chapters nearby. That is to say, I'm not someone who just left after my college years and have been an involved member of our sisterhood in a number of capacities.

I support this decision. There are a variety of barriers to entry for women to join a sorority. Some of them are wider NPC problems like the rising cost of dues and other costs associated with sorority membership. DG cannot do anything about that. What they can do is remove a policy that at the end of the day is mainly benefitting upper-class (white) women whose mothers and grandmothers had the opportunity to attend college and the ability to join a sorority. We can argue about what that privilege means and who has or doesn’t have privilege (which is what a lot of the comments on Facebook have devolved to) but that doesn’t change the fact that the legacy policy can and likely has prevented wonderful women from joining our sisterhood that we absolutely could have benefited from. If PNM A is a 4.0 student who also runs track and is an engineering major with a glowing personality and PNM B has fine grades but minimal involvement on campus and a personality that clashes with the sisterhood BUT is a legacy, don't we want to give our collegians the opportunity to choose A as often as befits their membership selection? And legacies do not suddenly disappear. A woman whose mother, grandmother, or sister is a DG is still considered a legacy. What changes is the requirements to look at them differently than any other woman who wants to join our sisterhood. She will still be welcomed as someone with a special connection to DG and her legacy relative is still welcome at initiation and any other events that they may host. The celebration just formally starts on bid day rather than before.

To be frank, the comments that have turned truly nasty on the Facebook thread in particular have come from older alumnae demanding respect that they are not giving in return. The majority of the women for the change (again, mostly younger alumnae) have kindly, politely, and gently tried to explain where the policy change has come from and how exactly it relates to privileges they may not have realized. Instead they have been met with condescension, coded language and in some cases overt transphobia that had no place in the conversation. This is not an ageist thing and there are still many older alumnae who have actively engaged in debate in a way that is productive and polite. But the majority of women coming out swinging, accusing DG of pandering and belittling their own sisters, are those who have not been in college for a long time and are not as close to the current members and DG chapters. They have spoken down to their sisters, denied their experiences, and have in effect formed cliques that have ganged up on other women and used "laughing" reactions to some very serious posts. I believe someone quoted our Article II ("The objects of this Fraternity shall be to foster high ideals of friendship among women, to promote their educational and cultural interests, to create in them a true sense of social responsibility, and to develop in them the best qualities of character") to one of the woman and she replied " it’s ok, I’m a grown up that is not concerned with whatever article 2 is." These younger women coming out in force for the policy change may not have legacies of their own but they are the ones dealing with it day-to-day. They are the ones seeing its effects during recruitment (and in many cases being yelled at by women twice their age because her daughter is not a fit for DG at XYZ university the way she may have been 25 years ago at DG at ABC college) and beyond.

The reality is that our beloved Fraternity is going through changes that come with today’s world. What you deem as “wokeness” is not sudden and rather part of the last few years of Delta Gamma actively re-examining its history and contextualizing what it did wrong and how it now wants to do right. I would like to point you to the Winter 2019 Anchora cover article here which was a huge step in understanding our history and what that means for us moving forward. It's something many of the women who have been *chosen* for membership in Delta Gamma are passionate about and work for in line with our values. This is one piece in a long process and I doubt it ends here for us or for the rest of sorority life (DG noted in a comment that the NPC has requested that all members examine ways to become more inclusive organizations). I understand that change can be hard but many of the younger alumnae and collegians have been doing as much of the work as we can within the institution to push for more inclusivity within DG and we’re grateful to see it be taken seriously. This isn’t pandering or virtue signaling but instead shows a commitment by DG to work to bring new members from all walks of life into our sisterhood.

I’m young and I accept that. I am not a mother yet and don’t know if I will have a daughter (though I hope!). I’m sure that would color my feelings, but not enough to change my view. I will lovingly raise my imaginary future daughter with the values DG and I share. I hope that when the time comes to join a sorority she and DG are a perfect fit and she will receive an invitation to join based on her own merit and character. She will still be a legacy to Delta Gamma and if she joins I will probably cry when I pin her with our shared anchor badge. The only thing that changes is that she and I will both know DG chose her for her and not because twenty-something years ago it also chose me.
Well said.
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  #72  
Old 06-20-2020, 05:51 PM
SWTXBelle SWTXBelle is offline
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Were Gamma Phi to do this without it passing a vote, I would be upset. At our last Convention in Atlanta there was a point of contention which had impassioned discussion on both sides of the issue, but in the end, every side felt heard, and their objections or support considered. I think allowing for that discussion meant the final decision was accepted, even by those who didn't agree.
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Last edited by SWTXBelle; 06-20-2020 at 05:57 PM.
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  #73  
Old 06-20-2020, 05:57 PM
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See, that's it. So many unheard voices...
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  #74  
Old 06-20-2020, 06:22 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Yes
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  #75  
Old 06-20-2020, 06:29 PM
GoldenAnchor GoldenAnchor is offline
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Originally Posted by SWTXBelle View Post
And since their virtual convention is next week, it would have been very easy to have included it in the sorority business.
Respectfully, I do not think it is wise to speak on the ease of a process you do not know.
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