Your input please?

[Just interested]

and.... why they wanted her to know they were still interested in her. They probably know that even if they get quota, they still have openings to meet Total. I would take this as a good sign. They are being very proactive. Good for them.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by Just interested

and.... why they wanted her to know they were still interested in her. They probably know that even if they get quota, they still have openings to meet Total. I would take this as a good sign. They are being very proactive. Good for them.

If they called her during the pref party, this is what I would guess too.

[SoCalGirl]

If she was released from recruitment the chapter would have likely known that before the Pref parties started.

[When Doves Cry]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

during one formal recruitment the chapter i advise rushed three girls named katelyn smith, caitlin smith and caitlyn smith(names changed to protect the innocent). that same year we also had a kelly, kelli and a callie and a kristEn, a kristIn and a christin. unfortunately, more members of this chapter than not, concentrate on the first name and might remember the first initial of the last name-which was not helpful with the katelyn trio!

oh that happened to us this year. A lot of girls with the same names or names we just could not remember. so there were some girls that we loved that weren't invited back. it was pretty sad

[SoCalGirl]

Nick names make it even worse. Since my school is about half Asian it was common for students to not go by their given names. So you develop a rush crush on Jenny Nguyen not knowing that not only are there 6 Jenny Nguyens but also 4 more girls who go by Jenny but aren't named Jenny. So when you get asked about Hanh Nguyen you have no clue who that could be.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

If she was released from recruitment the chapter would have likely known that before the Pref parties started.

Actually, they might not have even thought to look at the screen with the list of girls who were completely released until after they saw their party list (which usually goes out a couple of hours before parties start).

[APhiAnna]

Could it be possible too that the chapter invited the number they were allowed but then many of those women ended up at other preference parties? Maybe they realized they would not fill quota and are upset with the number of women who chose to return for pref so they are actively seeking out the other PNMs they liked but may have released in favor for women who ranked other chapters higher or dropped out before pref when they saw their schedule.

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

Actually, they might not have even thought to look at the screen with the list of girls who were completely released until after they saw their party list (which usually goes out a couple of hours before parties start).

We were always given the list of released PNMs along with our party lists.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

We were always given the list of released PNMs along with our party lists.

I see. That is very different from what I have seen. It really is interesting how the procedures (even something as simple as that) can vary from campus to campus!

Hmmm.. I wish the OP would update us.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

Nick names make it even worse. Since my school is about half Asian it was common for students to not go by their given names. So you develop a rush crush on Jenny Nguyen not knowing that not only are there 6 Jenny Nguyens but also 4 more girls who go by Jenny but aren't named Jenny. So when you get asked about Hanh Nguyen you have no clue who that could be.

We had that same problem too. When I was a rho chi, one of my PNMs was accidentally released from XYZ. She registered for recruitment as "Xiao-Min Chan" because that was her legal name, but she went by "Jenny Chan". There was another woman whose legal name actually was Jenny Chan; she was registered for recruitment but never turned up. So XYZ released the wrong Jenny - Xiao-Min. The problem was caught in time, and Xiao-Min pledged XYZ. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

[flffydg9]

Thank-you for all of your comments. My daughter received a phone call on bid day, and was told that the sorority in question would like to offer her a bid. She told the girl who called that she would think about it. After thinking about it, she phoned her back and told her "No, thank-you". When my daughter called me after that, she sounded better and less stressed than she had for awhile. She sounded calm. One hour later, she called me back, crying, wondering if she made the right decision. I told her it was her decision and to do whatever she really wanted. She called the girl again and told her she reconsidered and would like to participate in Bid Day activities. I was happy for her and couldn't wait to hear about the fun. When I spoke to her later, there was no enthusiasm, and she was again questioning whether she'd done the right thing. We spent hours on the phone yesterday evening. Now, her question is, Is the bid binding? She has signed nothing. Remember, she didn't attend Preference, so no Pref card to sign. Nor did she sign a COB agreement. She was simply handed her bid card, by the sorority, at Bid Day activities. She is again questioning whether she's done the right thing. This is all her decision, and her Dad and I have made that clear. Hours and hours on the phone are stressful, though.

[agzg]

That's called snap bidding.

I'm not sure if snap bids sign a card or not, but something tells me they do.

She should talk to her greek advisor ASAP.

Sometimes when we had new members that accepted bids but weren't comfortable pledging right away or were in the middle of a very difficult semester (my school was huge on health sciences and those majors are tooooough), we'd let them wait until the next semester to pledge and to get to know the chapter by coming to COB events. I don't know if this chapter would allow her to do that, since she'll count toward total whether she pledges now or next semester anyway, but it might be an option. I think we were the only chapter that allowed that on my campus but I might be wrong.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by flffydg9

Thank-you for all of your comments. My daughter received a phone call on bid day, and was told that the sorority in question would like to offer her a bid. She told the girl who called that she would think about it. After thinking about it, she phoned her back and told her "No, thank-you". When my daughter called me after that, she sounded better and less stressed than she had for awhile. She sounded calm. One hour later, she called me back, crying, wondering if she made the right decision. I told her it was her decision and to do whatever she really wanted. She called the girl again and told her she reconsidered and would like to participate in Bid Day activities. I was happy for her and couldn't wait to hear about the fun. When I spoke to her later, there was no enthusiasm, and she was again questioning whether she'd done the right thing. We spent hours on the phone yesterday evening. Now, her question is, Is the bid binding? She has signed nothing. Remember, she didn't attend Preference, so no Pref card to sign. Nor did she sign a COB agreement. She was simply handed her bid card, by the sorority, at Bid Day activities. She is again questioning whether she's done the right thing. This is all her decision, and her Dad and I have made that clear. Hours and hours on the phone are stressful, though.

No, her attendance at bid day and consideration of a snap bid are not binding. In this case, she is only bound if/when she signs something.

[gee_ess]

I would like to add that some of the way she feels is exactly the way many, many girls feel after the whirl and craziness of formal recruitment - even girls who have what might be called a "perfect" recruitment and get their first choice. (there are threads on GC about this very thing). So, I would advise her to (if she is allowed the time. I am not familiar with snap bidding rules) to not make any rash decisions. Take some time to get acquainted with the girls. Rest up from recruitment,etc. Sometimes it just takes a little time to settle in, regardless of the circumstances.

But if she chooses to wait and go through later, it is important that she not burn her bridges.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

I would like to add that some of the way she feels is exactly the way many, many girls feel after the whirl and craziness of formal recruitment - even girls who have what might be called a "perfect" recruitment and get their first choice. (there are threads on GC about this very thing). So, I would advise her to (if she is allowed the time. I am not familiar with snap bidding rules) to not make any rash decisions. Take some time to get acquainted with the girls. Rest up from recruitment,etc. Sometimes it just takes a little time to settle in, regardless of the circumstances.

But if she chooses to wait and go through later, it is important that she not burn her bridges.

Agreed.

And while she's trying to make the decision, tell her to do some research. If she hasn't already, have her visit the local and national websites for the sorority she has been invited to. If she knows any girls who are in sororities, either active or alumnae, tell her to talk to them. She can ask them about sororities in general, and about what she's feeling.

And if she does take the approach of going through in a later semester, I think it would be a very good idea that she extend the same courtesy to the President that she did to your daughter. She should talk to her about her decision and explain that it is nothing against the chapter. She can say that she doesn't know enough about it yet, that she has a busy semester, that, similar to how the sisters felt, she'd like to get to know them better before she jumps right in to being a new member. Whatever her reason might be, have her explain it to them so that she'll still have a chance to become part of the group later on if she so chooses. She can say something as simple as, "Thank you so much, you don't know how much I appreciate it, but... (reason for not joining). But I'd still love to get to know all of you." It would definitely go a long way.