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  #76  
Old 01-10-2019, 09:19 PM
phoenix16 phoenix16 is offline
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The forecast is showing freezing temperatures, snowfall, and a winter storm watch this weekend. Hoping all the PNMs stay warm and everyone has safe travels around campus!
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  #77  
Old 01-10-2019, 10:15 PM
GreekOne GreekOne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katastrophie View Post
I really appreciate the comments and feedback y'all are providing. Waiting eagerly to hear which houses my daughter is invited back to for Sisterhood. She was fortunate to have 16 in philanthrophy round (Even though she was cut from 3 she liked...) She is a double legacy to one house but has several that she could see herself in -
Hoping she keeps an open mind... Think I'll have some wine!!!!
Good luck to all pnms (and mamas).
I have 3 daughters. Two pledged my GLO as legacies. The one that did not is at IU. She pledged another WONDERFUL house last year. When she was cut by her legacy chapter it broke my heart. All 4 of us would have shared a sisterhood. However, what is important to understand is that some of the houses that are very strong nationally have more legacies than quota. Our house had 70-80 legacies going through. They couldn't even have bid all the legacies that were registered for recruitment. My Hoosier found the perfect house for her, but I was certainly disappointed when I received the phone call that she had been released. Please prepare yourself for that possibility. Know it will be okay either way.
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  #78  
Old 01-10-2019, 10:18 PM
BUDelta4Life BUDelta4Life is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clayton117 View Post
Talked to my D this morning. She sounded better than I expected, being the first week of new classes and this cliff hanger with recruitment schedule. she is run down but practicing self care and keeping busy. I asked how she was feeling about things and she says she just wants to see her new list so she can start focusing on what her options are, and what direction to go. She appears to have 5 "favorites", thank goodness, so hopefully at least one will carry to sisterhood round. She heard the frat boys sit out on the street in lawn chairs watching the girls hustle about these next two rounds...she laughingly said that will add a new element to the madness! Yeesh...

My daughter says she thinks it is 2 for pref, but isn't 100%

Hopefully this next round doesn't bring a lot of tears, and these girls can embrace their options and get one step closer to finding their sisterhood.
Talked to my goddaughter today about being on the "other side" of recruitment this year. She said she was tired and had lost her voice but was having tons of fun. One thing she mentioned that surprised her was feeling a little frustrated with the system because, due to RFM and so many sisters in a chapter ranking the PNMs each round without discussion, great girls fall through the cracks. I told her it was normal to feel that way, and yes, it happens. So, please tell your daughter, as others have already echoed here, getting released from a house doesn't mean they didn't like you. Sometimes it just happens, even when lots of members really like you. On the flip side, my goddaughter said she has a couple of favorites already and hopes they stick with her house (and vice-versa) all the way through.

Good luck to your daughter!
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  #79  
Old 01-10-2019, 10:18 PM
Abm91 Abm91 is offline
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Oh wow I didn’t think they called anymore. Now I’m going to be nervous if my phone rings! Well we already spoke about cuts and it is what it is...she has a good attitude and wants a sisterhood so if they think she will find it somewhere else she’s okay with that...but it will sting a little...
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  #80  
Old 01-10-2019, 10:43 PM
katastrophie katastrophie is offline
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I would get a call? From the IU Chapter? Interesting.
Guessing the girls will hear from Rho Gams sometime in afternoon?
Fingers crossed for al pnms!
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  #81  
Old 01-10-2019, 11:17 PM
phoenix16 phoenix16 is offline
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I think it depends on the chapter. I know we still call the family member as a courtesy, but I can only speak for my chapter.
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  #82  
Old 01-10-2019, 11:24 PM
Abm91 Abm91 is offline
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I would think that would be a very difficult job, to call a hopeful mother and give her the bad news. I do agree it probably depends on which chapter you are a legacy of. And it may make a difference if you were a legacy from IU vs. another chapter...
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  #83  
Old 01-10-2019, 11:55 PM
80sHoosier 80sHoosier is offline
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I did not get a call last year, and I was an IU grad so my daughter was a legacy to that specific chapter. In fact, I did not receive a response to an email to the chapter advisor after recruitment, even though I had previously met her and had exchanged one email with her in the fall.

I think most groups do not call anymore because they feel it is an invasion of privacy for the PNMs. They are adults and can share with their family what they choose. I think advisors also aren't really supposed to share anything regarding membership selection, but it would have been nice to get an acknowledgement that they were sorry it did not work out. I did get an email invite to initiation (at my chapter, not my daughters)! I decided to pass . . . :-)

Honestly, I am not bitter. Still a little disappointed, but I am still active in my local alumnae club where I have been an officer for about 25 years. It is a great group and my daughter's sorority is also a great organization.
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  #84  
Old 01-11-2019, 12:58 AM
clayton117 clayton117 is offline
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Ladies, thank you so much for your wisdom, counsel and comfort. I have passed on a lot of your common sense to my daughter and she is preparing herself for major cuts tomorrow, and setting her bar really low on her expectations. Always better to have a chance to be pleasantly surprised than a puddle of disappointment. A friend received a group text from the RG telling her girls to prepare themselves as most had major cuts. She implored them to take it in stride and continue on, giving their remaining chapters an open minded look. Sobering!

I myself did not go to a college with greek life, and have only had direct experience through my husband's foggy recollections of his college fraternity years, which have very little application to this situation. I am grateful to find so much great advice from the wise women here. Thank you!

Best wishes to all, and I hope that those of you with girls in legacy situations carry forward tomorrow. Fingers crossed for you!
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  #85  
Old 01-11-2019, 08:58 AM
BBH BBH is offline
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I know last year, this day had the most anxiety for my D and her friends. Most in her circle got back 4 to 5 for this round. One only had three and eventually dropped. My D took her lumps after round 1 so where she was down the first weekend, she spent this round consoling a lot of her friends.

This is the round where it seems the most girls drop when they get their 9 party list back. My D made the comment earlier this week after being on the other side and seeing how they've had to work through the cuts, its amazing anyone get's into a sorority.
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  #86  
Old 01-11-2019, 10:15 AM
IUAnon IUAnon is offline
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What time do the PNMs get their schedules today?
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  #87  
Old 01-11-2019, 10:51 AM
ForeverRoses ForeverRoses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IUAnon View Post
What time do the PNMs get their schedules today?
Rounds start at 6pm tonight, so I think the Rho Gammas will be distributing the lists around 4pm.

Also, snow is predicted for tomorrow (4-6 inches, falling throughout the day). Should be interesting.
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  #88  
Old 01-11-2019, 11:07 AM
OldFLDDD OldFLDDD is offline
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Like many others have shared, my daughter went through recruitment this past August at a large southern school and in every single round was released from her favorite houses. She'd allow herself to be sad and maybe shed a tear or two, but would regroup and head to those houses that asked her back with an open mind and heart. She went into Pref with one house that she 100% loved at that point and then one that she was "ok" with. Bid Day came, and she got her #2 choice. Again, she allowed herself a moment to feel the disappointment but put a smile on her face and gave it her best shot. That first day was a roller coaster of emotions--"I think I will actually be really happy here"..."Now I don't really feel like I'm connecting...I just don't know"..."I've met some really sweet girls"...."I'll stick it out and see how I feel in a couple of days". Today, almost five months in, she truly loves her house and continues to make connections. The biggest thing is that she can now look back at the houses that she "loved" during rush that released her and definitely say "Wow, I can NOT see myself as an ABC or an XYZ now". She's still bummed that she does not share a sisterhood with me, but we both love that she's starting her own legacy. We truly had to let go and trust the process, and it did work out in the end, even though that was one of the most emotionally brutal weeks ever!!!
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  #89  
Old 01-11-2019, 11:40 AM
lyrespearls lyrespearls is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldFLDDD View Post
"Wow, I can NOT see myself as an ABC or an XYZ now". She's still bummed that she does not share a sisterhood with me, but we both love that she's starting her own legacy. We truly had to let go and trust the process, and it did work out in the end, even though that was one of the most emotionally brutal weeks ever!!!
Exactly! Love this! Thinking of all you moms today as the late afternoon hours approach. You and your girls got this!
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  #90  
Old 01-11-2019, 12:32 PM
BUDelta4Life BUDelta4Life is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BBH View Post
I know last year, this day had the most anxiety for my D and her friends. Most in her circle got back 4 to 5 for this round. One only had three and eventually dropped. My D took her lumps after round 1 so where she was down the first weekend, she spent this round consoling a lot of her friends.

This is the round where it seems the most girls drop when they get their 9 party list back. My D made the comment earlier this week after being on the other side and seeing how they've had to work through the cuts, its amazing anyone get's into a sorority.
My goddaughter said basically the same thing, that after being on the other side, she's immensely grateful she didn't fall through the cracks last year and actually got into a house she really liked. She considers herself a pretty normal Midwestern girl who is more studious than she is a partier and more interested in philanthropy than some. She says that, now, she thinks it was a miracle she landed someplace that was perfect for her.
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