Politely saying no, and informal rush bids

[TrojanGirl]

I am a 23 year old freshman going thru a semi-informal (bordering on COB) rush this spring. There are only 3 houses on campus and only 10 girls rushing, so everyone is almost guarenteed a bid from all three houses. My problem is the houses are all having activities at the same time, and since I have decided to go with ABC, how do I politely decline EFG and XYZ? Don't get me wrong, the attention is flattering, but it seems the other two houses can't take a polite no for an answer.
Also..
has anyone else gone thru a small rush like this with no structure and no real bid day? How was bidding handled?
thanks
TrojanGirl

[Kevlar281]

Choose your words carefully. If there is one thing that I have learned going through rush this Spring is that there is no such thing as a sure thing. Anything can happen during rush so until you get your bid, rush any and all houses that have an interest in you especially if there are only three on your campus.

[KarenC725]

Originally posted by Kevlar281
Choose your words carefully. If there is one thing that I have learned going through rush this Spring is that there is no such thing as a sure thing. Anything can happen during rush so until you get your bid, rush any and all houses that have an interest in you especially if there are only three on your campus.

I completely agree with Kevlar281. Be careful! lots of weird things can happen during rush/bid matching.

[DZTUBAGIRL]

Trojangirl,
I just went through informal rush this semester and it is hard to decide which parties to go to. The was we do it an my school is that you are not invited back to parties you just come and go as you please. This makes it a lot easier. I went to another sororities party but decided to go with DZ because I really felt comfortable with them, this made my decision easy. The only bad thing was if I didn't get a bid from them I didn't have any other choice. But thankfully I got one!! YAY!! Well good luck with rush!


Anne Marie Church
Kappa Tau chapter
Morehead State University

[SSS1365]

Things are done so completely differently here. Rush has a pretty formal setting both semesters, even though the whole pref thing is only done in the spring. So basically, no girl ever has to actually tell a sorority no.

This reminds me of when we ran open bids last semester. We gave one to a girl who went through recruitment but didn't accept any bids. Her polite way of declining our bid was to say she had changed her mind about joining a sorority because she was going to be too busy for one. I'm not stupid, I know she was just trying to let us down nicely, and I was right because she did join another sorority but at least she was nice about the whole thing.

[Aphigal]

I also think you should go to a house for a few minutes and then leave to go to another. That's not rude and that way you will have seen all the chapters.

They know that each sorority is having events at the sametime they will expect women to come and go. Even if you are positive you want one house don't stay there the whole time, you want them to think that they still have to rush you hard.

Good luck!

[shadokat]

I agree with the politely saying no, and hopefully it will work. As for bids, when we had informal recruitment, which wasn't as small as yours, but it was still similar in format, we had a policy that a woman must attend 2 parties to be considered for a bid. So after someone came to 2 parties, we would vote on them. If they got a bid, we would go up to their room or house or whatever and extend their bid in person, at which time we would say that she could think about it as long as she'd like, and that we would be having a bid party for all of our new members on XYZ date. We would let her think about it for a few days, or she'd accept or reject on the spot. Eventually though, our parties would end, and we'd start new member orientation. Hope this helps a little.

[AchtungBaby80]

I don't see what's wrong with just being honest. If you're absolutely positive about which sorority you want, just tell the other groups that you think they're really great but you feel you fit better with XYZ. Thank them for inviting you to their parties, etc. But I'm with everyone else on this--I say go to as many parties at as many different sororities as you can, because you never know...you might be surprised!

[dzsaigirl]

I transferred to my school in the Spring (they have formal rush in the Fall here). Every chapter here does formal in the fall and informal in the Spring 'cause people graduate in the fall and spring, so lucky us!! Anyhow, I had the problem of events overlapping and I just told the groups that I was going to XY event on Friday and I would go to their event on Saturday...This actually made people want me more in a way 'cause it was like a challenge to see who could get who! Anyway, I knew as soon as I went to DZ that it was my home, so I kind of stood up the girls from another certain chapter at my school...I was afraid to tell them that I had liked DZ so much! I probably shouldn't have done that, but oh well...d'oh!

[TrojanGirl]

Thank you all so much for the ideas. I am trying to be nice. (There is some bad blood between two GLO's here) The way things seem to work here is you show up at either a party or just hang out at the houses and at the end of the "rush" the groups decided and offer bids. It all seems weird to me, but I have to admit I am enjoying the relaxed atmosphere here, but it is still odd. These groups are anything but the sterotype for GLO's. I did get an easy out for not having to chose between 2 parties tonight. It has snowed about 5 inches and all of them were canceled!

[dzrose93]

Good luck with your Rush, Trojangirl. Keep us updated and let us know where you end up!

[aephi alum]

Good luck - and keep your options open - things may not work out with ABC, and it's worth it to check out the other 2 groups. You can always decline a bid offered during informal rush and still go through formal rush next fall if you choose.