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  #16  
Old 04-03-2002, 08:11 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Lexi's right - quitting and going alum (or in my parlance, terminating and going inactive) are 2 totally different things. If you go alum, you can still be involved after you graduate, and that might be something you'd turn out to love. However, I know that sometimes there are issues like housing, etc that make it impossible to go alum while still in school.

Or you can make other friends outside the sorority and look at it this way: you have your friends, and then you have your "job" which is the sorority. That might make it a little more palatable. I'm not going to outright say quit because I'm learned from this board how important it is to be Greek at some schools in the south.

Plus, this is a bad time of year - EVERYONE is burnt. Think about it and let us know what you decide. Good luck
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  #17  
Old 04-03-2002, 08:12 AM
KDHoney KDHoney is offline
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Delicious, I know the situation seems really rough right now, but I agree with Leslie that you've put so much into this organization, so think long and hard before walking away. I'm not telling you not to drop out...it's kind of like a relationship, you can only try so much and sometimes you have to walk away. Just make sure that's what you really want to do. When you have a bad experience, it's really easy to do something on impulse that you'll regret later. Ultimately, do what's best for you, what's going to make you happy. Best of luck and keep us posted.
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  #18  
Old 04-03-2002, 08:45 AM
AOIIBrandi AOIIBrandi is offline
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Delicious, Please take a little while to make your decision. I too went to school in the deep south and went through rush for a lot of the same reasons you did (although I had always wanted to go greek, I knew no one at the school and wanted to make friends fast). I will admit that I was not very close with most of the women in my pledge class, but I made lifelong bestfriends with other women in the chapter. Your pledge class is only a small part of the whole. There was a time when I thought that none of the sisters had any respect for me b/c I ran for several offices 2 years in a row and got elected to nothing, but I kept pushing and when the VPE had to resign her office I ran and got elected. I made the best of it and now it is truley a VP position in our chapter...The moral to that is that your sisters obviously think highly enough of you to elect you to hold positions within the chapter so there has to be something there. Work with that at first. Focus on the incoming NM class as others have said that is where you can turn the whole chapter around. I've said it before and I will say it again...nothing will ever change if your not willing to take action to change it (and no one said it would be easy).

Please don't quit. I know I would have regretted it for a lifetime. Consider just taking a break from going to events and stuff for a few weeks and see how it goes. If none of this helps if you can go alum do it, but make that your last attempt. PM me if you want
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  #19  
Old 04-03-2002, 10:36 AM
delicious delicious is offline
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i understand what many of you are saying about waiting for the next pledge class, but i've already done that...3 times. we do fall and spring rush. in the fall we get 60 girls and spring we get about 10 (we have HUGE chapters here). and waiting for the next plege classes didn't help.

i really apreciate all of ya'lls advice, its been really great. i thought about staying in it another semexter and laying low, but to be quite honest a: i don't know if i can put up with the drama b: they require so much involvement and attendance that its getting ridiculous! if we don't go we get fined major $$$ c: i really don't want to shell out another $500 to stay in another semester and be miserable. i think its really a do or die situation right now, you know?
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  #20  
Old 04-03-2002, 10:39 AM
IowaHawkeye IowaHawkeye is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by delicious
i understand what many of you are saying about waiting for the next pledge class, but i've already done that...3 times. we do fall and spring rush. in the fall we get 60 girls and spring we get about 10 (we have HUGE chapters here). and waiting for the next plege classes didn't help.

i really apreciate all of ya'lls advice, its been really great. i thought about staying in it another semexter and laying low, but to be quite honest a: i don't know if i can put up with the drama b: they require so much involvement and attendance that its getting ridiculous! if we don't go we get fined major $$$ c: i really don't want to shell out another $500 to stay in another semester and be miserable. i think its really a do or die situation right now, you know?
can you go alum now? at least stay part of the system but not have to deal with that chapter on a daily basis?
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  #21  
Old 04-03-2002, 11:01 AM
KDHoney KDHoney is offline
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Going alum (if you can) is probably your best option. A lot of alum I've talked to say that sorority life actually got better after college. My sorority has something called Inactive Member Status, which means you're still a member of the national, but you don't attend chapter meetings, functions, etc. and that way you can still be an alumni member. You may want to check if your organization has anything like that.
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  #22  
Old 04-03-2002, 11:23 AM
Dionysus Dionysus is offline
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Originally posted by justamom
Dionysus- Possbly one of THE best posts you've made...ever....this lifetme or any other.
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  #23  
Old 04-03-2002, 02:18 PM
justamom justamom is offline
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Delicious, you have heard from a wonderful group of women all who have had dfferent experiences. You never know how far reaching decisions like this can be. My BEST friends were independant, yet I am happy I stayed in my sororty. I never had any drama, but I did have a siter-or two- who resented my penchant to hang with GDIs. Are you a Junior or Sophomore?
If there is ANYWAY you can stick it out, please try. (those fines REALLY sound crazy) Is there ANYONE you can trust to discuss this with? I hope some of the alternitives are open to you. It really would be well worth it to check things out and weigh your options. Once you are out of college, you will realize this ONE PARTICULAR chapter means squat in the scheme of things. The alums on this board are reflections of alums across the nation. Don't let some stinky sisters take that away from you unless you know...REALLY know it won't matter to you somewhere down the line.
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  #24  
Old 04-03-2002, 02:44 PM
Bama_Alumna Bama_Alumna is offline
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I agree with everything justamom said.

Delicious, I just sent you a PM.
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  #25  
Old 04-03-2002, 09:14 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
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Delicious,

You've gotten a lot of good advice that I can only second. Look into going alum early, and if you can't, just lay low.

During fall rush of my senior year, I was a rho chi. You may want to consider doing this, if possible, during your next formal rush - it's a good way to take a "vacation" from your sorority, "test-drive" being deaffiliated without actually deaffiliating, and meet other sorority members and contribute on the Panhel level at the same time.
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Last edited by aephi alum; 06-10-2002 at 10:23 AM.
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  #26  
Old 04-03-2002, 11:28 PM
SuperSister SuperSister is offline
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My situation isn't exactly like yours but there was a time earlier this year when I desperately needed a break. My sisters (not all of them) had betrayed me and going to functions made me miserable and pissy. Luckily I had the option of taking 'conditional' status (this is avaliable for no more than a semester before it automatically becomes disafiliation, the sisters must approve conditional and must approve your request to return to active status). Laying low for about 3 weeks was just what I needed. It gave me a chance to air out my feelings and get a look at what life without my GLO would be like. I missed it too much and resolved issues with certain sisters. I've been active again for over 2 weeks now and I'm so glad to have all my rights as an active back again. I also plan on running for president (I'm really also the only viable option). A break was exactly what I needed and now I'm back and better than ever. My recomendation would be to lay low for awhile.

Emily
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  #27  
Old 04-04-2002, 12:29 AM
delicious delicious is offline
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my sorority does not grant early alum status or allow us to take "leaves of absence" like others do

thanks for the advice, but i told the president tonight that i needed to fill out resignation papers. it will be official once the semester is over. i feel as though a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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  #28  
Old 04-04-2002, 02:54 AM
SapphireSphinx9 SapphireSphinx9 is offline
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Delicious~
I hope everything works out alright. I am truly sorry that you had to come to this decision, I know how difficult this must be... But we're here for you.
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  #29  
Old 04-04-2002, 06:00 AM
justamom justamom is offline
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Delicious, good luck only to you! Things will work out for the best-
just a fork in the road.

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken
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  #30  
Old 04-04-2002, 07:22 AM
LeslieAGD LeslieAGD is offline
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Delicious, it seems like you have already made your decision; however, this is some last minute advice. I'm not sure what year you are since, but you said you've held an office for two years which means you've been in your chapter for at least 2 1/2 to 3 years. Even though you're not eligible to go alum, have you thought to try to contact your IHQ? There's always exceptions...

I'm sorry things did not work out for you.
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