Don't Want To Seem Fake!

[prettygyrl]

Okay hopefully this is an okay question to ask everyone. Anyway.......I have read a lot of greeks post that have said how an interest should really try and get to know the people in the org of their choice at their school. At the same time I have read how some greeks have to be extra careful because some people are only interested in their friendship because they are interested in the org that they belong to. I was wondering how does everyone handle a situation like this? I mean what is the proper way to approach someone? I would not want someone to think that I have only been talking to them because of their affiliation with the sorority. Then again I would not want to walk up to someone and say "Hi my name is.... and I am interested in your sorority" I mean that sounds kind of cheesy. How would some of you rather be approached? I have even heard that we should not let it be known what greek org we are interested in. Is that correct?I mean i could meet a girl and just kick it with her because she is cool (not because she is a part of xyz sorority) then when she find out I am interested she may assume I used her. How can an interest avoid a situation as such? I know its about fifty different questions I asked at once, but I would really appreciate a response.

[Gina_lynn]

My campus is so small, that by the time someone gets up enough nerve to actually tell one of us she is interested in Delta, we already know, so it's more of a test to see if she will say something to one of us.

As for how I prefer to be approached: 1) one on one. Comming up to a group of us at a party (especilly one that we are hosting) and wanting to tell us about all of the wonderful things we are doing (would take forever ) is FAKE. Speak as you go by, but don't make a production out of it. 2) Being that I am a whole lot of things in addition to being a Delta, I like it when people start our relationship on one of those other tips. For example, There are young ladies that come up to me after church and we talk about the message, or I have young ladies that call me about an upcomming test in a class we have together. I like this approach for two reasons. because it tells me something about their intrests and goals outside of membership, and it lets me know if they are a thinking person. 3) I can't stand it when prospectives think that because we have become cordial (sp?) that they no longer have to do their research, or I will give them inside information. My Mother (who is also a Delta) not only knew everything that they were going to tell me, but she knew WHEN whey would tell me, and yet said NOTHING. If I couldn't get info out of her, what makes them think they could get info out of me.

Like I said, At a small campus, I can usually see someone comming up to me because of my letters semesters in advace, so maybe people at bigger campuses feel differently.

[This message has been edited by Gina_lynn (edited July 19, 2000).]

[southern_theta]

one thing i've heard is that, when meeting an upperclass woman, it is considered inappropriate if you ask her what sorority she's in. maybe the best thing to do is to form casual friendships with lots of different sorority women. if they are interested in you becoming a member of their house, and they want to talk about it, maybe they'll bring the topic up themselves. once they've known you for awhile, they might ask if you're going to rush, for instance. at which point, you would say, "yeah, i'm really excited about rush, i think sororities look like so much fun & a great way to get involved blah blah blah." be as vague as possible. i wouldn't tell you to come right out & tell her that you want to be in HER sorority, because you might look like you're trying too hard. also, bear in mind that she's probably not even ALLOWED to ask you which houses you're favoring before rush has begun. at my school, according to panhel pre-rush regulations, we're only allowed to talk about how great the greek system is, etc., to the freshmen women. we're not allowed to say how our own sorority is best & that the rushee should definitely go there. we are supposed to portray a positive image of the system as a whole and not use the fall before rush to sell girls on our house alone.

[ZetaAce]

Southern_Theta- That is very insightful information if a woman is interested in rushing an NPC house

However, saying "yeah, i'm really excited about rush, i think sororities look like so much fun & a great way to get involved..." would not be something I would suggest saying to a member of an NPHC sorority. It's just a difference the way our systems of becoming a member are setup!

ZetaAce

[MaMaBuddha]

prettygyrl,

i consider myself very down to earth...even kinda of a beatnik.

you kinda of know when someone wants to get to know you on a "i wanna be down with Delta level" and the "i genuinely want to be your friend level"

the advice i pass on to those who are interested in the greek society is:

1. if something interests you, ask about it.
find all the information you can on the organization. if you can't find any information, don't be afraid ask.

2. most frats and sorority are either service, social or academic.
find out which one suits you and do your research. ask your self the question "why do i want to be aprt of this organization?"

3. please don't follow stereotypes.
the days of school daze and animal house is over.

4. don't let anyone intimidate you.
i hate to admit that there are organizations out there that let the letters go to their head and think they are better. they are not.

5. have self confidence and respect.
that is self explanatory!!



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"the ORIGINAL soror from the dirtiest part of the south"
(cheese grits, hogmahs and fatback)

MaMaBuddha
Delta Alpha/Epsilon Tau
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Innnnnncorporated.
Spring 94
the 24th Diva of Perfection

Alpha Phi Omega, Fraternity, Incorporated
Alpha Gamma Gamma
Fall '98

Order of Eastern Star
Prince Hall Affilated
Prince Hall #27

[33girl]

One thing NEVER EVER EVER to say is "WHEN I pledge XYZ..."

There was a girl at our campus who was just OH SO CONVINCED we were going to give her a bid & she said this all the time!!! Even if she would've had a snowball's chance in hell, that would have turned us all off.

[tickledpink]

Pretty Girl, just be yourself. Just saying "hi" in passing is a start. By just speaking in passing, you're being friendly & acknowledging them without compromising your dignity. As far as letting your interests be known, it's like Mama said -- greeks generally know when people have that "I wanna be down..." vibe. Just because you become cool with someone doesn't mean she's automatically going to assume that you used her. If you guys genuinely hit it off, she'll sense that sincerity. Trust me, when I was an interest, I became cool with many of my current sorors. And because I genuinely liked them for who they were, even if I had never seen AKAland, they would still be my friends to this day.

Hope this helps.

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>>>"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised... Proverbs 31:29-30

[prettygyrl]

A thousand thanks to all who respoonded this truly helps alot. MamaBudda my campus is real small also. I think the biggest line the chapter had back in like 94(info I pulled off of their website) was like 12. I saw a couple of years there was four or five that crossed. Its a pretty small school though and all the four NPHC sororities are on the yard repping. Once again thanks everyone for helping me out.