very pissed off right now

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I didn't either.

The benefit of being on an anonymous site is you can lay it all out there for better or worse. However, you have to be willing to 1-really tell the whole story and 2-accept the answer you're given. And I can accept that an 18/19 year old may not be the best at telling the whole unvarnished story (assuming we understand parts of the story without actually saying it, for example), but contradicting yourself is not the same as not fully explaining.

It was years for me, for example, before I realized my role in recruitment and that several chapters cut me for very justifiable reasons. But then I never went around asking anyone for analysis or help. Or blaming anyone else for my outcome.

Just deleted my earlier reply to you- misunderstood the intent based on the sequence of posts.

Above you say something that I think every new poster should think about when coming here to get help- as long as you keep your anonymity, why not just lay it all out there? Sure- you are still getting just one side of the story, but it amazes me how often key details do not get posted until later and very often for the obvious reason someone is coming here for comfort/reassurance and not an honest answer.

This is bad for many PNMs who may read what looks like a horror story about rush, when in fact the horror story was the person who started the thread. Rush is a crazy enough time without people making it sound harder.

Not stating all the facts matters too- like leaving out one is an upperclassman or has been through rush at a given school before. Obviously these are important details that affect the quality of the advice given, and yet so often they have to be found by watchful posters who remember who said what last year or do searches.

All this ever does is get the person posting some kind of cheerleading section that is supposed to magically compensate for what is really going on. It does no good for other advice seekers who read the threads, and it wastes the time of regular posters (though the entertainment value can often far outshine that.)

Ok- rant off, I will behave again for a while.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

Just deleted my earlier reply to you- misunderstood the intent based on the sequence of posts.

Above you say something that I think every new poster should think about when coming here to get help- as long as you keep your anonymity, why not just lay it all out there? Sure- you are still getting just one side of the story, but it amazes me how often key details do not get posted until later and very often for the obvious reason someone is coming here for comfort/reassurance and not an honest answer.

This is bad for many PNMs who may read what looks like a horror story about rush, when in fact the horror story was the person who started the thread. Rush is a crazy enough time without people making it sound harder.

Not stating all the facts matters too- like leaving out one is an upperclassman or has been through rush at a given school before. Obviously these are important details that affect the quality of the advice given, and yet so often they have to be found by watchful posters who remember who said what last year or do searches.

All this ever does is get the person posting some kind of cheerleading section that is supposed to magically compensate for what is really going on. It does no good for other advice seekers who read the threads, and it wastes the time of regular posters (though the entertainment value can often far outshine that.)

Ok- rant off, I will behave again for a while.

Well said. There's no point in asking for advice if you aren't willing to take any, and if it's validation, rationalization, or cheerleaders you need...that's what your friends and family are for. Strangers, especially strangers on the internet that have only posts with which to familiarize themselves with a poster, are more likely to be honest. Be honest with yourself...if it's comfort and not reality you're looking for, don't seek it here.

And if it's help with recruitment you're looking for, be completely upfront. (Though change names/places/etc. to protect your identity). Any advice you get from a post lacking in details won't do you any good. Evaluate yourself prior to posting. Was your GPA close to or below the cut off? Are you an upperclassman on a competitive campus? Did you get recs? Did you fill out your application completely? If you don't think it could be any obvious reason, look for the more elusive reasons. An example: I was coached very well prior to recruitment because I know that I give the impression that I am a straight up bitch in person if I do not pay attention to my facial expressions, conversation, and body language. In fact, I just don't enjoy talking to strangers. But people don't perceive me as shy...they perceive me as someone who thinks they are too good to talk to others. I know this and therefore pay attention to what I do and say, and I make a concerted effort to be more effusive and outgoing than I naturally am when I'm meeting new people. Think about your body language...ask your friends what they thought of you when they first met you...ask yourself if you would be interested in meeting you. There are many things that you might not notice yourself doing that can put off the person you're talking to.

"You" being the general "you"...directed towards the PNMs that post here.