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  #31  
Old 08-29-2003, 05:58 PM
GeekyPenguin GeekyPenguin is offline
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YAY TCV! I hope you have a great time!
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  #32  
Old 09-04-2003, 09:08 PM
DZHBrown DZHBrown is offline
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yay! Have you been able to meet with her yet?
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  #33  
Old 09-08-2003, 06:33 PM
TCV TCV is offline
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Hi guys,
I am kinda in a bind. I am stuck between two GLOs for A.I.
Here the story...
I began my quest with group A in June. I emailed HQ who then passed me to the Coordinator. It took her quite a while to get in contact with the alum pres. After weeks of hounding for updates (hehe) she finally emailed me stating that she phoned the pres but has not heard anyything back from her but she went ahead and gave me the alum's phone number hoping I would have better luck. So I did (3 month period). Three days later I phoned her...no answer. So I left a message. The week after I phoned her again...no answer but left her another message. After two weeks had passed and no return phone call I gave up. So I began with my second choice (group B). I emailed the alum pres. and she emailed me within the week. She was thrilled that I was interested in her GLO. She asked me what time I was available to meet. I emailed her back with an anwer( which I am still waiting to hear from her).
Now this past weekend I get a phone call. It's from my first choice! I totally gave up on them and they totally suprised me. What happened was that she is no longer the alum pres. She seemed very nice and asked me questions about my persuit. She was delighted to give me the current alum pres phone# for contact. She also let me know that they were having some events coming up next week. I hope I get invited
Now the problem is that now I am gunho about both GLOs. I didn't mean to pursue both at once.
What I am planning to do is that if I meet with both in different occasions I will decide who accepts me more than the other one.
Any advice?
~TCV
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  #34  
Old 09-08-2003, 06:54 PM
CutiePie2000 CutiePie2000 is offline
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You're probably best to meet with both and see which is the best *mutual* fit (do you like them, do they like you).

I say this because you will likely wonder, if you don't meet both groups (I know that I sure would! )
I would be discreet though.....

Last edited by CutiePie2000; 09-08-2003 at 07:02 PM.
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  #35  
Old 09-08-2003, 07:07 PM
navane navane is offline
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heh...been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.


A very similar thing happened to me. I spent a very long time trying to get a hold of my first group before giving up and contacting the second group. Just when sorority #2 responded to me, sorority #1, now *8 months* later, decided to up and e-mail me out of the blue!

Since sorority #2 was still trying to work out which chapter I should contact, I went ahead to the event that sorority #1 invited me to attend. Though, for personal reasons, I ended up withdrawing my interest in sorority #1 shortly after. About 2 months later, sorority #2 got into gear and invited me to their events.

I didn't mean to contact two groups at once either. However, unlike you, I wasn't actually invited to events running simultaneously. Hrm...it *could* get sticky if people find out that you're looking at two groups at once. It depends on the groups and/or individuals you're in contact with. I noted that you appear to be located in Texas - if so, this is even more important.

I would recommend the total honesty approach. Explain what happened to both of the alum presidents and hope that they're understanding. Otherwise, you have two other options: decide now which one of the two groups you want more; or, attend events for both and hope they don't find out and get upset.

I hope everything works out for you!

PNAM,

.....Kelly
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  #36  
Old 09-08-2003, 08:11 PM
SmartBlondeGPhB SmartBlondeGPhB is offline
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I see no reason why you shouldn't pursue both of them and see where you fit better. It's the exact process we make the collegians go through to find a "home" so I personally don't think it should be any different.

Besides, it's a lifetime commitment. It deserves a high degree of thought.

I would say however that the former President dropped the ball a bit in not getting back to you sooner or passing your info on to the new President (but that's the former Pres in me talking).

Have fun!
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  #37  
Old 09-09-2003, 01:23 AM
GPhiBLtColonel GPhiBLtColonel is offline
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I would recommend one of two things:

1) If you want to check both groups out then use the discreet approach instead of the total honesty approach -- I am not saying to lie but I would not volunteer that you are looking at two groups...personally and I know this may get me flamed but it is how I feel, as a past alum chapter pres and one who has helped at least half dozen women become GFB AI's, I would be somewhat offended if I knew we were in "competition" with another GLO...

2) Choose one group to pursue BEFORE you attend any events and then when the other group questions (if they do) why you cannot come to their event, THEN be honest and tell them 'generally' what happened -- you do NOT want them to feel like they were a second choice....

Whatever you decide, good luck and please keep us posted!
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  #38  
Old 09-09-2003, 05:48 AM
navane navane is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by GPhiBLtColonel
I would recommend one of two things:

1) If you want to check both groups out then use the discreet approach instead of the total honesty approach -- I am not saying to lie but I would not volunteer that you are looking at two groups...personally and I know this may get me flamed but it is how I feel, as a past alum chapter pres and one who has helped at least half dozen women become GFB AI's, I would be somewhat offended if I knew we were in "competition" with another GLO...

Ok, I can respect that you disagree with one of the options I offered. Frankly, I'm of the opinion that a PNAM should be able to look at as many groups as wants/needs until she finds that place where she knows she is home - even if she has to do it simultaneously. Why? My AI journey has been unusual and I have sympathy on others who have unusual circumstances as well. It's not a matter of desperation, it's a matter of finding your sisters.

The reason I suggested the total honesty approach is because:

a) I'm a goodie-two-shoes and I don't believe in lying. If I were TCV, and one of the groups asked me about it, I wouldn't be able to stand there and flat out lie. Even if no one likes my suggestion, at least we know honesty is an option. Yes?

b) From what I understand, Texas is like living in a big fishbowl. If TCV were in another state like Illinois or something, it might not be as big of a risk. However, being Greek is big in Texas and IMHO, the chances of TCV getting "found out" with two groups is higher. In Vermont, "shopping around" may not be a big deal to the alumnae ladies there. Though, in Texas and the south, it may be a cardinal sin to do so. After all, even you stated that you would be "offended" if a PNAM was working with more than one.

Of course, CutiePie2000 has this as one of her FAQs in the Advice to PNAMs thread:

Quote:
Originally posted by CutiePie2000

What if I am interested in more than one NPC sorority, and I think that I need to meet them all in order to know for sure, or to see for myself which is the best fit for me?

<snip>

I think that it is important to tread carefully, to prevent any appearance that you are simply going from group to group until somebody “takes you”. If you are "found out" to be approaching more than one group for alumnae initiation, you may have to do some hasty “damage control” explaining yourself (never a good position to be in), because depending on the city, alumnae women in different sororities can & do speak to each other as to what sorts of issues are going on in their local alumnae chapters.

[/B]
To be honest, I am confused. On one hand, you and CutiePie2000 are advocating that TCV should go ahead and go to both sets of events and see whch one she fits in with as long as she's "discreet." On the other hand, you (GPhiBLtColonel) said you would be "offended" if a PNAM did this and CP2000 is saying that it could be disasterous. Have I totally misinterpreted something here?

I guess I'm just feeling a bit defensive because it always seems like my advice and opinions are never in line with anyone else's and they let me know it too.

At the end of the day, I just want my sister PNAMs to find their places in the Greek family. That's all, just looking for that happy ending for everyone.

PNAM,

.....Kelly


-- edited for grammar

Last edited by navane; 09-09-2003 at 05:50 AM.
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  #39  
Old 09-09-2003, 10:00 AM
GPhiBLtColonel GPhiBLtColonel is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by navane
Ok, I can respect that you disagree with one of the options I offered. Frankly, I'm of the opinion that a PNAM should be able to look at as many groups as wants/needs until she finds that place where she knows she is home - even if she has to do it simultaneously. Why? My AI journey has been unusual and I have sympathy on others who have unusual circumstances as well. It's not a matter of desperation, it's a matter of finding your sisters.

The reason I suggested the total honesty approach is because:

a) I'm a goodie-two-shoes and I don't believe in lying.
Kelly, please re-read my post: here is what I said:

"If you want to check both groups out then use the discreet approach instead of the total honesty approach --
I am not saying to lie

but I would not volunteer that you are looking at two groups..."

I just think discretion is the better part of valor.

I know every PNAM's situation is different and some may know exactly what GLO they want to pursue while others want to shop around...that is fine..but I cannot help my own personal feelings on this matter: when I get actively involved in helping a PNAM to become a Gamma Phi Beta AI, I want to be absolutely certain she is serious and committed...I do not get warm fuzzies and assurances if I find out a PNAM is actively checking out other GLO's...by the way, anyone - esp several GCer's here -- can tell you that when I get actively involved, alum initiation WILL and DOES happen and that I will do whatever is necessary (and legal!!) to ensure it happens...the process on the alum sponsor's part takes time and commitment which I am not willing to expend if a PNAM is just shopping around and not certain she wants Gamma Phi Beta...

...anyways, this is just me...sorry if I have offended you Kelly...I did not intend to do that by any means...I truly admire your dedicated AI search and I frankly wish you had chosen Gamma Phi Beta!


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  #40  
Old 09-09-2003, 11:38 AM
navane navane is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by GPhiBLtColonel
Kelly, please re-read my post: here is what I said:

"If you want to check both groups out then use the discreet approach instead of the total honesty approach --
I am not saying to lie

but I would not volunteer that you are looking at two groups..."

Cele,

Please, let's not get into a fight over something that we are essentially agreeing on.

I never accused you of advocating lying. Never ever did I state that anywhere in my post. As a matter of fact, I clearly read the part in your original post where you said "I am not saying to lie ..." It was not necessary to highlight it in super big red text.

What I did was to state why *I* like the total honesty approach. I said I liked it because:

a) I personally have discomfort with telling lies. (If it were me in that situation)

and

b) I think it could be a better tactic for TCV given that she's in an area where the backlash for getting caught could be worse than having told the full story to start with.


Where you and I got onto a sticking point is that you misunderstood what I was refering to when I responded to your post.

- I posted my suggestion regarding the total honesty approach.

- You replied saying that you disagree with that approach.

- I replied stating the reasons why I prefer that approach.

- Then, even though the reasons why I prefer it are not related to the suggestions you gave TCV, you read my post to mean otherwise.

In other words, my description of why I like the total honesty approach was a response to the discussion regarding the merit of the approach, not a response the merit of what you suggested as your own solution.

Crumbs, I don't know if anyone will be able to follow that, but at least I know what I'm trying to say.

You did not say that TCV should lie her way out of everything. I didn't either. We are agreed there. Of course, I can see how one might interperet what I said in a way different than what I intended.

Saying "I don't like lying" and saying "Don't mention it if they don't ask" are two totally different things.

I am not in the business of starting fights with people. Please forgive me for causing you offense. I never intended to somehow make you out to be some big supporter of lying.

.....Kelly


(it only seems to happen in this forum.....)
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  #41  
Old 09-09-2003, 11:40 AM
navane navane is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by GPhiBLtColonel

...I frankly wish you had chosen Gamma Phi Beta!

Ah....who says I didn't??




.....Kelly
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  #42  
Old 09-09-2003, 01:01 PM
GPhiBLtColonel GPhiBLtColonel is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by navane
Cele,

Please, let's not get into a fight over something that we are essentially agreeing on.

I never accused you of advocating lying. Never ever did I state that anywhere in my post. As a matter of fact, I clearly read the part in your original post where you said "I am not saying to lie ..." It was not necessary to highlight it in super big red text.

What I did was to state why *I* like the total honesty approach. I said I liked it because:

a) I personally have discomfort with telling lies. (If it were me in that situation)

and

b) I think it could be a better tactic for TCV given that she's in an area where the backlash for getting caught could be worse than having told the full story to start with.


Where you and I got onto a sticking point is that you misunderstood what I was refering to when I responded to your post.

- I posted my suggestion regarding the total honesty approach.

- You replied saying that you disagree with that approach.

- I replied stating the reasons why I prefer that approach.

- Then, even though the reasons why I prefer it are not related to the suggestions you gave TCV, you read my post to mean otherwise.

In other words, my description of why I like the total honesty approach was a response to the discussion regarding the merit of the approach, not a response the merit of what you suggested as your own solution.

Crumbs, I don't know if anyone will be able to follow that, but at least I know what I'm trying to say.

You did not say that TCV should lie her way out of everything. I didn't either. We are agreed there. Of course, I can see how one might interperet what I said in a way different than what I intended.

Saying "I don't like lying" and saying "Don't mention it if they don't ask" are two totally different things.

I am not in the business of starting fights with people. Please forgive me for causing you offense. I never intended to somehow make you out to be some big supporter of lying.

.....Kelly


(it only seems to happen in this forum.....)

Kelly -- I am not fighting either -- I just felt like your post could possibly misconstrued that I said to lie...I wasn't offended, I just didn't want to come across like a total skank!
And You're right, I should not have highlighted in BIG BOLD RED letters...sorry, I don't know what got into me!

As for you pursuing Gamma Phi Beta, hmmmm...I really wish it were so but sadly I am pretty sure it isn't...sigh....
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  #43  
Old 09-11-2003, 01:12 PM
TCV TCV is offline
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Hi Guys,
Thanks for your advice and concerns. Being in Texas where greeks are big can be pretty tricky especially in my situation.
I got an update for you all....
Last night I recieved a phone call from two alums from Group A (my first choice). Basically, they were clueless about A.I. So I explained my situation to them and the process of A.I. in their GLO. They were amazed how much I knew (being in contact with HQ ofcourse) and they didn't. The alum pres said that she was going to make some phone call regarding A.I. and that she will give me a call back to, I guess, let me know how they will approach this matter, which is fine with me. They seemed very nice and somewhat suprised about my inquiry. I guess I would be too if I were told that you can join a GLO after college years. But we'll see what happens. What's so funny is that one of the alums called me around 8pm and the alum pres called me 9pm and I was telling the pres that I just not too long ago was on the phone with of the alum. I felt great that these two women took the time to call me about A.I
Ok, well not only did I hear from my first choice but group 2 also called me yesterday. How wierd!!! I got home from work around 5pm and I recieved a message from the alum pres. I called her back and we talked for a while. What was funny was that her sister graduated from the same university I did and went greek with one of the GLO's there. As far as A.I. the alum chapter has just began to regroup and new officers are on duty. They still have some ajustments to make before they begin to pusue A.I. this semester. And their collegiate chapter is in the beginning of recruitment so they are busy right now. She basically said that they want to start with a group of potential A.I and from there begin the process which will probably be in the spring ( I have to wait how long?...just kidding). What I think will happen is that they will probably have me get to know the ladies both collegiate and alum before anything happens.
I can see some postive things will come out of this. It's just a matter of waiting. But I have been mentally preparing in case I am "found out." Which I hope is not the case. But again, I hope to find a place with either of them.
~TCV
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  #44  
Old 09-11-2003, 03:58 PM
Kristin AGD Kristin AGD is offline
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Yeah!!! Good Luck TCV!
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  #45  
Old 09-11-2003, 04:18 PM
Tom Earp Tom Earp is offline
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Thumbs up

TVC, what is great about this whole thing is your attitude.

It is NOT, WELL IF I DONT GET WHAT I WANT, I will stay home!

As can be seen on GC, We are all very Proud of our respective Orgs. But that is not to say that I would be unhappy being a GPB instead of a LXA!

There is always more than one Org. out there that someone could feel comfortable with.

It is nice to have an option!

Si CELE? Ta Da My Sweet Georgia Peach!
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