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  #1  
Old 10-24-2012, 11:02 AM
lizz2152 lizz2152 is offline
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depledging and joining a different sorority

In september I accepted a bid from one particular sorority. After spending a couple of weeks with the girls however, I feel I don't really fit in with my pledge class. Also when I was going through recruitment, there was one or two other sororities that I loved and felt I clicked with better.

My question is about the whole rule of the calendar year. I have not become initiated yet, so if I drop out now, will I be able to go through recruitment next fall? Or is it one calendar year from the day you dropped out of the sorority? I'm a little confused on the rule and I want to make sure I can recruit next fall.
  #2  
Old 10-24-2012, 11:34 AM
AZ-AlphaXi AZ-AlphaXi is offline
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The rule is from time of accepting the bid. If you accepted a bid from formal recruitment and drop before initiation, you will be eligible to participate in the next formal recruitment. So, in practice, from one fall recruitment to the next, even if the bid acceptance day is off by a few days or so.

However, depending on the campus, your chances of getting a different bid (or any bid) the second time around may be greatly reduced. You'll be competing with new freshmen and with women who haven't participated in recruitment before. You need to ask yourself, what's changed this time to make me a more attractive candidate this time? Are my grades higher, is my conversation more polished, have I made friends with women from chapters?
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Last edited by AZ-AlphaXi; 10-24-2012 at 05:58 PM.
  #3  
Old 10-24-2012, 12:01 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lizz2152 View Post
In september I accepted a bid from one particular sorority. After spending a couple of weeks with the girls however, I feel I don't really fit in with my pledge class. Also when I was going through recruitment, there was one or two other sororities that I loved and felt I clicked with better.

My question is about the whole rule of the calendar year. I have not become initiated yet, so if I drop out now, will I be able to go through recruitment next fall? Or is it one calendar year from the day you dropped out of the sorority? I'm a little confused on the rule and I want to make sure I can recruit next fall.
Before you quit your current sorority, be SURE that you can accept that this may be your one & only opportunity to be Greek. The chances of pledging next year are very slim. Take us very seriously when we tell you this.

You need to really, really think about the fact that those other sororities that you loved so much did NOT extend a bid to you. The chances that they will offer you a bid next year are incredibly close to zero.
  #4  
Old 10-24-2012, 12:40 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by lizz2152 View Post
In september I accepted a bid from one particular sorority. After spending a couple of weeks with the girls however, I feel I don't really fit in with my pledge class. Also when I was going through recruitment, there was one or two other sororities that I loved and felt I clicked with better.
What you feel matters very little, unless the feeling is mutual. Have you become friends with members of these sororities? Do you spend time with them? Have any of them sought you out to express to you that they are sorry you didn't pledge there?

If not, you really need to stay put, stop thinking about other sororities and think about the one that you are part of NOW. Your pledge class is immaterial - many people (at least if GC is any indication) do not form their closest, longest-lasting sorority relationships with their pledge sisters. Concentrate on the sisters you DO click with.
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  #5  
Old 10-24-2012, 02:12 PM
lizz2152 lizz2152 is offline
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is there a certain reason the chance of you getting a bid the next year is really low if you depledge?
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Old 10-24-2012, 02:13 PM
KillarneyRose KillarneyRose is offline
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Honestly, if I were you I would abandon the idea of re-rushing. As some very knowledgeable women upthread noted, it's not very likely you'll get a bid from another house.

My advice (and take it for whatever it's worth!) is to stick it out with your sorority unless you're really miserable. When you graduate, you'll have the opportunity as an alumna to meet many, many other sisters and I bet you'll click with at least some of them.
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  #7  
Old 10-24-2012, 02:15 PM
KillarneyRose KillarneyRose is offline
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Originally Posted by lizz2152 View Post
is there a certain reason the chance of you getting a bid the next year is really low if you depledge?
I think the sororities would see someone who depledged as "damaged goods" (for lack of a better term). They might wonder if you depledged that other house, will you depledge them as well? Or they might think you're a whiner or a troublemaker. Not to say that you're any of these things! But that is how you may be perceived.
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  #8  
Old 10-24-2012, 02:47 PM
adpimiz adpimiz is offline
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Originally Posted by KillarneyRose View Post
I think the sororities would see someone who depledged as "damaged goods" (for lack of a better term). They might wonder if you depledged that other house, will you depledge them as well? Or they might think you're a whiner or a troublemaker. Not to say that you're any of these things! But that is how you may be perceived.
And at competitive schools, many sororities may automatically cut you simply for being a sophomore, before even looking at you or your resume.
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  #9  
Old 10-24-2012, 03:02 PM
adpiucf adpiucf is offline
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[QUOTE=lizz2152;2186093]is there a certain reason the chance of you getting a bid the next year is really low if you depledge?[/QUOTE

In addition to what other posters said, your chances are also less because you have already been through recruitment once and been cut by those sororities. Therefore, it is very rare to get a bid once you've been passed over by a chapter in the previous recruitment.
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  #10  
Old 10-24-2012, 03:11 PM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Originally Posted by lizz2152 View Post
is there a certain reason the chance of you getting a bid the next year is really low if you depledge?
LOTS of reasons, but this is going to sound harsh. I apologize in advance, but you want to know the possible reasons....

1. the sororities you are after didn't want you as a shiny new freshman with a pretty clean slate. They are probably not going to want you more as a sophomore. This is the number one issue.

2. the sororities are going to see you as a big quitter for depledging. They do NOT LIKE women who depledge an organization to go after another group.


3. You have a whole year to make a mistake on campus before rush next year: drinking too much at a party, saying something nasty, dating the wrong guy, dating too many guys, too many pictures on your FB page with a red cup in your hand, etc, etc, etc. Sororities will see all this. Their members are everywhere.

There are many, many, many more reasons. There is not just 1. I bet we could go on for pages....

YOU GOT A BID and a SISTERHOOD! Please cherish & appreciate it! They liked you, they invited you to be their sister. How many women got nothing at your campus? I just can't understand throwing it away for no better reason than you don't think you fit in after a couple of weeks!
  #11  
Old 10-24-2012, 03:33 PM
ElvisLover ElvisLover is offline
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I must agree with the seasoned veterans' responses mentioned above. If you go through the whole process again and still don't receive a bid from your house of choice, then what? And you will have missed the rest of your freshman year not really "fitting in" anywhere if you drop out now.
  #12  
Old 10-24-2012, 07:56 PM
Katmandu Katmandu is offline
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In September I accepted a bid from one particular sorority (that I consider lower tier and didn't plan to join and only put down on my bid card because I just KNEW I was destined for another sorority.) After spending a couple of weeks with them, however, I feel that I don't really fit in with my pledge class. (I am so much cooler and cuter and skinnier than they are and some of them are fat and don't date/OR they are all drunken whores and I wear a purity ring given to me by my Father). Also when I was going though recruitment, there were one or two other sororities that I loved and I felt I clicked with better (they were cute and had mixers with the cool frats/OR they were all Evangelical Rhodes scholars like me).

Yes. Depledge. Now. Whatever your reasons, you shouldn't be initiated into a wonderful national women's sorority feeling as you do. How do I know they are wonderful? Easy. They ALL ARE. And they deserve better. Go through recruitment next year and let us know how it goes.
  #13  
Old 10-24-2012, 09:06 PM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katmandu View Post
In September I accepted a bid from one particular sorority (that I consider lower tier and didn't plan to join and only put down on my bid card because I just KNEW I was destined for another sorority.) After spending a couple of weeks with them, however, I feel that I don't really fit in with my pledge class. (I am so much cooler and cuter and skinnier than they are and some of them are fat and don't date/OR they are all drunken whores and I wear a purity ring given to me by my Father). Also when I was going though recruitment, there were one or two other sororities that I loved and I felt I clicked with better (they were cute and had mixers with the cool frats/OR they were all Evangelical Rhodes scholars like me).

Yes. Depledge. Now. Whatever your reasons, you shouldn't be initiated into a wonderful national women's sorority feeling as you do. How do I know they are wonderful? Easy. They ALL ARE. And they deserve better. Go through recruitment next year and let us know how it goes.
Hahaha, oh, this post took me a minute, but well done.
  #14  
Old 10-24-2012, 09:44 PM
Leslie Anne Leslie Anne is offline
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Originally Posted by thetalady View Post
Before you quit your current sorority, be SURE that you can accept that this may be your one & only opportunity to be Greek. The chances of pledging next year are very slim. Take us very seriously when we tell you this.

You need to really, really think about the fact that those other sororities that you loved so much did NOT extend a bid to you. The chances that they will offer you a bid next year are incredibly close to zero.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KillarneyRose View Post
Honestly, if I were you I would abandon the idea of re-rushing. As some very knowledgeable women upthread noted, it's not very likely you'll get a bid from another house.

My advice (and take it for whatever it's worth!) is to stick it out with your sorority unless you're really miserable. When you graduate, you'll have the opportunity as an alumna to meet many, many other sisters and I bet you'll click with at least some of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KillarneyRose View Post
I think the sororities would see someone who depledged as "damaged goods" (for lack of a better term). They might wonder if you depledged that other house, will you depledge them as well? Or they might think you're a whiner or a troublemaker. Not to say that you're any of these things! But that is how you may be perceived.
Wait a second! Did the OP mention anywhere in her 3 posts that she goes to some SEC school or even a competitive campus? No, she didn't! Yet you're making blanket statements that may not apply.

My campus was competitive but not to an extreme. Off the top of my head I can think of a DG pledge who depledged and became a Kappa, a Kappa who became an Alpha Phi, a KD who became a Sigma Kappa, an SDT who became a KD and a DG who became a KD (Me).

We don't know her campus.

All this talk is so condescending and could be entirely inaccurate.

Signed,
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  #15  
Old 10-24-2012, 11:53 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Wait a second! Did the OP mention anywhere in her 3 posts that she goes to some SEC school or even a competitive campus? No, she didn't! Yet you're making blanket statements that may not apply.
I think that it won't fly for her, no matter how uncompetitive the school because 1) her reason is super turbo lame (I don't get along with my pledge class - I think people assumed that she is at a larger system if the only people she knows are her pledge class) and 2) there are other sororities I liked better and I know that if I rush again they will see my wonderfulness.

It's one thing to say "I pledged this sorority and I'm not happy. I quit." and then make the decision down the road to rush again, and another to say "I'm not happy because I know the other groups would be better." If she finds herself spending more time with the XYZs than her own sisters, then by all means, depledge and join XYZ at the earliest opportunity. But she hasn't given any indication that is the case.
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