Always a PNM, never a sister.

[28StGreek]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Unless you were at membership selection for those chapters....you really don't know why the women were cut.

In a world where the CIA/FBI/Justice Department can't keep secrets, do you really believe that melodramatic, catty, and sometimes bitchy young women could keep something particularly scandalous a secret even under the auspices of chapter or membership selection?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by 28StGreek

In a world where the CIA/FBI/Justice Department can't keep secrets, do you really believe that melodramatic, catty, and sometimes bitchy young women could keep something particularly scandalous a secret even under the auspices of chapter or membership selection?

No, but I believe that the average chapter member actually has no idea how invite lists are constructed.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

No, but I believe that the average chapter member actually has no idea how invite lists are constructed.

That must vary from school to school because I am certain the school where I advised the actives are well aware of this process.

I have certainly understood the initial reluctance to believe The OP's story, but after reading all of this, I do believe it. Even at a large SEC school rumors, trash talking, vengeance, etc takes place and the info spreads up and down the street. Heck, rush operates under the guise of hearsay - "i hear she wants to be a xyz, we shoukd release her" so this situation is very plausible.

Each chapter may have a different way to handle the negative PNM info they receive - possibly a written complaint is filed? Don't know. And, possibly in this case there is some kernel of truth in the letter. Don't know.

But, I , like Ellebud, do believe it can happen. With all of the craziness of rush - I believe anything can happen. I have seen some if it, and it isn't all sisterhood and sunshine.

And I agree with 28 stgreek. These girls TALK. The drama of voting sessions is often leaked.

[AlphaFrog]

The OP keeps talking about how the letter-writing roommate only knew her for 3 months. That seems like sufficent time to make a character judgement, especially since during rush you get less than a week or so. I don't get how writing a letter (to her own chapter) was so horrible, unless it was false information. I think the writer did her chapter a favor.

[AZTheta]

It's Membership Selection; the nitty gritty of how it happened in this scenario, and what really transpired, we won't ever know. I hardly think the OP is going to out herself on this thread. I'm on the fence about the veracity of the OP, myself.

Fact of the matter to me is that the OP is unlikely to receive a bid from her preferred chapter, DZ. There are five other chapters at her school, and, from all appearances, she has essentially rejected them all (including her legacy chapter) in favor of DZ for two years running.

I'm with ellebud and gee_ess. You better believe people talk and bad things happen. I know first-hand of similar situations on my own campus. HOWEVER I am not about to blast it all over the Internet. Discretion... for the love of Mike, discretion. Don't bother asking me, I am a Scorpio, I'll never tell.

And parents have minimal input/influence into/on their (adult) children's behavior or friendships. Oh God, don't get me started on that.

Old_Row, I still write letters and send a lot of notes and cards as well. When you have a friend who's incarcerated for life, that is the best way to communicate between visits. And I've found that people enjoy receiving hand-written notes. I know I do!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

That must vary from school to school because I am certain the school where I advised the actives are well aware of this process.

I have certainly understood the initial reluctance to believe The OP's story, but after reading all of this, I do believe it. Even at a large SEC school rumors, trash talking, vengeance, etc takes place and the info spreads up and down the street. Heck, rush operates under the guise of hearsay - "i hear she wants to be a xyz, we shoukd release her" so this situation is very plausible.

Each chapter may have a different way to handle the negative PNM info they receive - possibly a written complaint is filed? Don't know. And, possibly in this case there is some kernel of truth in the letter. Don't know.

But, I , like Ellebud, do believe it can happen. With all of the craziness of rush - I believe anything can happen. I have seen some if it, and it isn't all sisterhood and sunshine.

And I agree with 28 stgreek. These girls TALK. The drama of voting sessions is often leaked.

Okay, I think that maybe we are arguing apples and oranges. I think that IF THE OP DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE it makes sense that word got around and she was released from every chapter. I have a much harder time believing that the OP did not do something horrible and one woman's subjective opinion held sway in six chapters.

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Okay, I think that maybe we are arguing apples and oranges. I think that IF THE OP DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE it makes sense that word got around and she was released from every chapter. I have a much harder time believing that the OP did not do something horrible and one woman's subjective opinion held sway in six chapters.

I'm with you on this. Frankly, if I got a letter from a girl I'd never met in a chapter I didn't particularly like saying that a PNM had done something awful (trashed the sister's room, stolen something, etc.), I would absolutely consider that. If it were something like, "Polly PNM doesn't hold up the values of sisterhood," I'd throw it in the trash and laugh. I'm inclined to believe this story is true, but that some MAJOR details of what went down to incite the letter have been omitted.

[Greek_or_Geek?]

The hardest part of this story to believe is how the OP continues to say that there was no bad blood between her and the letter writer, the letter writer thought she was fun and hilarious and told others she was blah blah blah. Then out of the blue she writes this letter to the mystical all knowing power of Greek life. Something happened.

[MaggieXi]

This story is flawed - whether the poster is a troll or there are various facts missing or things are inflated. I come from a campus that had a smaller greek population when I was an undergrad. Most of the sorority women knew and had friends in other groups. If someone was released early on by the majority of groups it was because all the groups believed that the PNM was undesirable for whatever reason (valid reasons or not).

My guess is that this PNM did something that in the eyes of her DZ roomate/hallmate/suitemate was inappropriate. The roomate/hallmate/suitemant shared the story with her chapter and her friends in other chapters prior to recruitment. Rumors spread and probably were blown out of proportion. I'm having a hard time believing that there was a mysterious "letter" written and shared throughout the panhellenic community and to the "Greek Life Higher Ups" and kept in her greek life permanent record that prevented her from being invited back to subsequent parties.

The Panhellenic Pres ("friend") as a cover up for knowing why the PNM was really released from her chapter (but can probable speculate it was the same reason the other chapters released her). While she might not agree with what happened, she can't do anything about it and she can't share membership selection info so its easier for her to hide behind the mysterious "letter".

Please excuse me if my post doesn't make sense. I have a cold and am all medicine head right now

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ellebud

So...you demand to know how I know something....you don't like the answer because nastiness never happens in the world of teenagers or young women. (Let us return to the nastiness of Wary's daughter's recruitment...I went back to check on her name) so you respond with a nasty retort about my friends and my parenting.

I believe that regarding the former you might dissuade yourself that all the women involve in sororities are nice and Panhellenic. Regarding the latter, you owe me an apology.

LOL. I'm sorry your daughter is friends with an immature witch who considers it fun to ruin someone else's college experience. I'm sorry your friend has a daughter who is an immature witch who considers it fun to ruin someone else's college experience.

I'm not saying "nastiness" never happens - just that UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE ROOM, AND SOMETIMES EVEN THEN, YOU DON'T KNOW WHY SOMEONE DIDN'T GET A BID. If your friend's witch daughter and your daughter's witch friend want to believe they did it all on their own, well, good for them. They can put it on their resumes.

And I looked up that Wary thread, and from what I remember, we were cautioning her to STFU so as not to ruin her daughter's rush. If it was horrible and mean of us to think of her daughter when she apparently felt it more important to spout out personal information and show us how "well informed" she was, well, I guess we're big old meanies then. Apparently there were creepy stalkers saying what the daughter was wearing and such, but I have a hard time believing they would have started piping up had Wary not been such a bia to begin with.

Buy the ticket, take the ride. Next.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Okay, I think that maybe we are arguing apples and oranges. I think that IF THE OP DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE it makes sense that word got around and she was released from every chapter. I have a much harder time believing that the OP did not do something horrible and one woman's subjective opinion held sway in six chapters.

That's exactly what I mean. People seem to actually be believing that ONE PERSON writing ONE LETTER can influence a whole Greek system with no other backup.

We found out after the fact of pledging one young woman that her cousin in another chapter (they were both locals) had essentially blackballed her. Did this young woman turn out to be a stellar sister? In a word, no. But even if we'd known beforehand about what her cousin did, I doubt very much that it would have made us reject her out of hand with no further discussion. Second look, yes, cut immediately, no.

[FSUZeta]

to the top

[wareagle93]

Bump

[ellebud]

Ok...having nothing to do with the veracity of the OP's story..

Your chapter receives a rec for Betty Sue Bippie from an alum who is 50, across the country and not from you school. The alum waxes poetic about Betty Sue and what a great girl she is. You read her stuff and you can't wait to meet her....That is what the rec is for...but was the writer truthful? Please don't say that you will never trust her again..damage done (or not).

Your chapter receives a no rec for the same girl from the same woman....Or a no rec from an active in another part of the United States. You see...Betty Sue has several issues. You've read her application and she seems fine (Vice president for two years of the French Club!)..Do you believe the no rec? Or do you dismiss the active as a malevolent discontent?

Oh...and what about the company line: GIRLS TALK!!!! I mentioned in my daughter's thread about a pnm who lied and didn't receive a bid. It was the straw that broke her recruitment...Does the adage the Row only talks (or doesn't) to suit your criteria at the moment.

And as for Wary, it wasn't just that the mom kept talking. Members were banned for going after the kid. And it wasn't because the pnm did anything, her mother did. A

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That's exactly what I mean. People seem to actually be believing that ONE PERSON writing ONE LETTER can influence a whole Greek system with no other backup.

We found out after the fact of pledging one young woman that her cousin in another chapter (they were both locals) had essentially blackballed her. Did this young woman turn out to be a stellar sister? In a word, no. But even if we'd known beforehand about what her cousin did, I doubt very much that it would have made us reject her out of hand with no further discussion. Second look, yes, cut immediately, no.

I'm aware of a similar situation where all the other chapters had cut one young lady except the chapter I was assisting. Other groups were shocked she was still on anybody's list and the Panhellenic President called our president to say "Do you know that _____ is heavily into drugs and everybody else has dropped her because she's out of control?" The women in the chapter did do a little more research, found it to be true and dropped her from their next invite list. They were grateful for the heads up. That's the type of behavior I could see leading to a "letter" that would result in something like that.