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  #16  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:20 PM
pinapple pinapple is offline
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OP...your daughter sounds very talented but please remember that the majority of women in the Greek community are top notch people. When someone comes here and basically says "I am not sure but my daughter might be too awesome to be Greek!!" you will not make many friends.

With that said, it truly depends on what YOUR daughter can handle. I am very familiar with one of the most competitive Greek Systems in the country and it boils down to what everyone has said. Time management. Their are girls here that are cheerleaders, dancers and pre-med pulling 4.0s and hanging out on 6th street on Thursday night. There are others who major in "less" intense majors that are at the library every night trying to keep up. It all depends on the individual. It is my experience that more rigorous the course load in High School the better off the student in college is Greek or not. So if your daughter has been academically pushing herself in HS (ie, high GPA, high SAT or ACT) and balancing her dance she will probably be fine. If she is going to attend a large state university in the SEC or Texas, start with your local Panhellenic and start gathering recs. It's not too early and they have already started coming in for Fall 2013.

In closing, keep in mind that even if she wants to be Greek doesn't mean she will be. (Some houses here will release girls on GPA alone...some wanting 3.75 or higher...so some girls can be on the chopping block before recruitment even starts) She needs to polish her communication skills, make connections with active Greek women at the University she is focusing on and enter recruitment with an open mind.
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  #17  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:29 PM
JLCo JLCo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
"very unique"

My English major soul is righteously indignant. Forgive it, please.

- this is a BBS and casual language is the general rule here. Look-up a definition of “uniqueness” in the online Webster dictionary and you will find it. New words are constantly used and coined in casual conversation and in informal written prose. I suggest you look-up etiquette for posting on BBS because the general rule of thumb is not to correct casual language use. Last time I checked this forum is not for the submission of a formal paper.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/unique

unique

adjective \yu̇-ˈnēk\




Definition of UNIQUE

1
: being the only one : sole <his unique concern was his own comfort> <I can't walk away with a unique copy. Suppose I lost it? — Kingsley Amis> <the unique factorization of a number into prime factors>

2
a: being without a like or equal : unequaled <could stare at the flames, each one new, violent, unique— Robert Coover>
b: distinctively characteristic : peculiar 1 <this is not a condition unique to California — Ronald Reagan>

3
: unusual <a very unique ball-point pen> <we were fairly unique, the sixty of us, in that there wasn't one good mixer in the bunch — J. D. Salinger>
unique·lyadverb
unique·nessnoun

I am using this word in the sense that she has an unusual personality that is associated with highly gifted individuals.

Here is an excerpt from a gifted website that I think accurately describes her personality and personality traits common to exceptionally gifted: “ ..show incredible intensity in energy, imagination, intellectual prowess, sensitivity, and emotion which are not typical in the general population”.
I think the real issue is that some people can't accept that some people are genuinely gifted and that they really are different. My daughter dances 25-35 hours/ week, puts in minimal time studying and is first in her class out of 700 students. She does all this while being advanced by 2-3 years in math and science courses and will have taken 13 AP courses when she graduates.
However, it is the intensity of her personality that makes her unique- or if you prefer- "unusual" compared to other teens her age.

Last edited by JLCo; 01-25-2013 at 03:28 PM.
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  #18  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:34 PM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JLCo View Post
- this is a BBS and casual language is the general rule here. Look-up a definition of “uniqueness” in the online Webster dictionary and you will find it. New words are constantly used and coined in casual conversation and in informal written prose. I suggest you look-up etiquette for posting on BBS because the general rule of thumb is not to correct casual language use. Last time I checked this forum is not for the submission of a formal paper.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/unique

unique

adjective \yu̇-ˈnēk\




Definition of UNIQUE

1
: being the only one : sole <his unique concern was his own comfort> <I can't walk away with a unique copy. Suppose I lost it? — Kingsley Amis> <the unique factorization of a number into prime factors>

2
a: being without a like or equal : unequaled <could stare at the flames, each one new, violent, unique— Robert Coover>
b: distinctively characteristic : peculiar 1 <this is not a condition unique to California — Ronald Reagan>

3
: unusual <a very unique ball-point pen> <we were fairly unique, the sixty of us, in that there wasn't one good mixer in the bunch — J. D. Salinger>
unique·lyadverb
unique·nessnoun

I am using this word in the sense that she has an unusual personality that is associated with highly gifted individuals.

Here is an excerpt from a gifted website that I think accurately describes her personality and personality traits common to exceptionally gifted: “ ..show incredible intensity in energy, imagination, intellectual prowess, sensitivity, and emotion which are not typical in the general population”.
I think the real issue is that some people can't accept that some people are genuinely gifted and that they really are different. My daughter dances 25-35 hours/ week, puts in minimal time studying and is first in her class out of 780 students. She does all this while being advanced by 2-3 years in math and science courses and will have taken 13 AP courses when she graduates.
However, it is the intensity of her personality that makes her unique- or if you prefer- "unusual" compared to other teens her age.




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  #19  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:34 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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.show incredible intensity in energy, imagination, intellectual prowess, sensitivity, and emotion which are not typical in the general population”. JLCo.

How does she get along with people, especially when meeting people for the first time? Does she hang out with her dance troupe outside of practice or performances? Does she have a large group of friends? Does she "play" well with others?
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Last edited by FSUZeta; 01-25-2013 at 01:50 PM.
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  #20  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:35 PM
JLCo JLCo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinapple View Post
OP...your daughter sounds very talented but please remember that the majority of women in the Greek community are top notch people. When someone comes here and basically says "I am not sure but my daughter might be too awesome to be Greek!!" you will not make many friends.

With that said, it truly depends on what YOUR daughter can handle. I am very familiar with one of the most competitive Greek Systems in the country and it boils down to what everyone has said. Time management. Their are girls here that are cheerleaders, dancers and pre-med pulling 4.0s and hanging out on 6th street on Thursday night. There are others who major in "less" intense majors that are at the library every night trying to keep up. It all depends on the individual. It is my experience that more rigorous the course load in High School the better off the student in college is Greek or not. So if your daughter has been academically pushing herself in HS (ie, high GPA, high SAT or ACT) and balancing her dance she will probably be fine. If she is going to attend a large state university in the SEC or Texas, start with your local Panhellenic and start gathering recs. It's not too early and they have already started coming in for Fall 2013.

In closing, keep in mind that even if she wants to be Greek doesn't mean she will be. (Some houses here will release girls on GPA alone...some wanting 3.75 or higher...so some girls can be on the chopping block before recruitment even starts) She needs to polish her communication skills, make connections with active Greek women at the University she is focusing on and enter recruitment with an open mind.
Pinapple-
I don't think my dd is too awesome to be Grrek... just not sure if she will fit in with her personality type and if she would be able to do everything she wants to do at the same time...
Also- we are looking at some large universities in the SEC because they offer very generous scholarships to those with high GPA and test scores. However, we live in the Midwest. Any suggestions on making connections since we do not know any former alumni?
Thanks!!
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  #21  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:35 PM
ree-Xi ree-Xi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JLCo View Post
Wanted to get some opinions on whether some people with experience think going Greek would be a good option for my daughter. Below is info/ description of her.

She wants to go to a large university and be part of a nationally ranked College Dance Team. This will involve many hours of practice and performances.

She is truly gifted (IQ 148) and gets impatient with demands that she sees as not being "logical".

However, she seems to be fairly out-going/ social in an independent way.

She would really enjoy participating in the philanthropic activities of a sorority.

Overall, she is attractive and physically fit.

She plans on going to Med school- so I am not sure that some of the political connections made in a sorority would be of as much value to her as someone majoring in other fields.

She will likely participate in Honors program and do intern research

Even though she is "geeky" because of being smart, she is also very hip because she does all types of dance- including killing hip-hop.

The summary here is that she is very unique and I just don't know if her uniqueness plus other commitments would result in her not enjoying Greek life.
Also of note is that she can not afford a semester of bad grades due to the rush week and expectations put on her when she is a new member. Not sure if this is a factor or not or if the sororities would be considerate of her commitment to academics, dance team, and research.

Any advice would be appreciated.
This struck me as odd. Often we are asked to do things that don't seem "logical" in the course of life as part of learning and growing, and this isn't relegated to sorority membership. Are you talking about hazing? Or doing "silly" things like ice-breakers or hanging out with sisters to get to know them better?

I think that you need to step back and let your very special snowflake figure it out for herself. It's a choice that she needs to make. Only she will know if sorority recruitment (one week in most cases) and/or membership is worth the time and energy commitment. Sororities usually look for well-rounded members. Successful students make for successful members. School is first, and if she doesn't think that she can handle membership on top of her studies and other interests, then she needs to make that decision
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  #22  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:44 PM
adpiucf adpiucf is offline
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OP, I hate to break it to you, but there are a lot of gifted college students and a lot of college students who have danced competitively their entire lives. And they went on to become MDs, PHD's, you name it. And they're in sororities!

I can think of three chapter sisters off the top of my head who were premed, honors program, and dancers. One in particular does advanced neuroscience research for a living now and is a professional dancer for a major NFL team. She was the cutest thing, lived in the sorority house, was captain of the school dance team, graduated close to a 4.0, got into a top medical school. My own little sister was a double major in molecular and micro biology, danced her whole life, lived in, was philanthropy chair, and went to tons of social events. Another girl with similar credentials went on compete in Miss Florida.

I appreciate that you consider your child special and unique and talented. But she's going to college next year. There are a ton of kids there who will blow your child out of the water academically, intellectually, and talent-wise. They're all hypothetical sorority material. So is your daughter.

I'm not really sure what else to tell you, except that I get that your knickers are in a snit and you probably won't let your daughter rush solely because of a few condescending remarks made by a group of strangers on a website.

ETA: if you are leaning toward recruitment at the SEC schools, start contacting everyone you know (teachers, church friends, parents of her friends) to ask if anyone knows alumnae of the sororities represented at her school and how to contact them for recommendations. You mentioned that you have Greek relatives, so reach out to them, too. Also, locate the Alumnae Panhellenic nearest to your hometown. Finally, read the thread linked in my signature. There's a lot of info about recs in there.
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Last edited by adpiucf; 01-25-2013 at 01:47 PM.
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  #23  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:45 PM
ree-Xi ree-Xi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JLCo View Post
- this is a BBS and casual language is the general rule here. Look-up a definition of “uniqueness” in the online Webster dictionary and you will find it. New words are constantly used and coined in casual conversation and in informal written prose. I suggest you look-up etiquette for posting on BBS because the general rule of thumb is not to correct casual language use. Last time I checked this forum is not for the submission of a formal paper.

>>Edited for rediculosity.

Here is an excerpt from a gifted website that I think accurately describes her personality and personality traits common to exceptionally gifted: “ ..show incredible intensity in energy, imagination, intellectual prowess, sensitivity, and emotion which are not typical in the general population”.
I think the real issue is that some people can't accept that some people are genuinely gifted and that they really are different. My daughter dances 25-35 hours/ week, puts in minimal time studying and is first in her class out of 780 students. She does all this while being advanced by 2-3 years in math and science courses and will have taken 13 AP courses when she graduates.





However, it is the intensity of her personality that makes her unique- or if you prefer- "unusual" compared to other teens her age.



Good freaking grief. Get off the dang computer because you are digging yourself deeper and deeper. If she's so dang special and gifted as you say, then she should be able to figure this out herself.
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  #24  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:49 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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.show incredible intensity in energy, imagination, intellectual prowess, sensitivity, and emotion which are not typical in the general population”. JLCo.

How does she get along with people, especially when meeting people for the first time? Does she hang out with her dance troupe outside of practice or performances? Does she have a large group of friends? Does she "play" well with others?

Sorry to quote myself, but I would really appreciate if JLCo would answer my questions. It might help us better understand your daughter and her situation.
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  #25  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:52 PM
Psi U MC Vito Psi U MC Vito is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JLCo View Post
- this is a BBS and casual language is the general rule here. Look-up a definition of “uniqueness” in the online Webster dictionary and you will find it. New words are constantly used and coined in casual conversation and in informal written prose. I suggest you look-up etiquette for posting on BBS because the general rule of thumb is not to correct casual language use. Last time I checked this forum is not for the submission of a formal paper.
I'm sorry, how long have you been on this forum? You should know better then try to dictate to people who have been around almost as long as the site are to the proper behavior here. She helped shape those proper behaviors. Also, I read it as a joke.
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  #26  
Old 01-25-2013, 01:57 PM
SydneyK SydneyK is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thetalady View Post
It is pretty clear to me that at BEST, this is the special little snowflake asking these questions posing as her mother.
Really?? That thought never even crossed my mind. I think that's even worse! Heli-parenting has become so commonplace that kids pretend to be the heli-parent? Lord help us.
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  #27  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:02 PM
summer_gphib summer_gphib is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JLCo View Post
- this is a BBS and casual language is the general rule here. Look-up a definition of “uniqueness” in the online Webster dictionary and you will find it. New words are constantly used and coined in casual conversation and in informal written prose. I suggest you look-up etiquette for posting on BBS because the general rule of thumb is not to correct casual language use. Last time I checked this forum is not for the submission of a formal paper.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/unique

unique

adjective \yu̇-ˈnēk\




Definition of UNIQUE

1
: being the only one : sole <his unique concern was his own comfort> <I can't walk away with a unique copy. Suppose I lost it? — Kingsley Amis> <the unique factorization of a number into prime factors>

2
a: being without a like or equal : unequaled <could stare at the flames, each one new, violent, unique— Robert Coover>
b: distinctively characteristic : peculiar 1 <this is not a condition unique to California — Ronald Reagan>

3
: unusual <a very unique ball-point pen> <we were fairly unique, the sixty of us, in that there wasn't one good mixer in the bunch — J. D. Salinger>
unique·lyadverb
unique·nessnoun

I am using this word in the sense that she has an unusual personality that is associated with highly gifted individuals.

Here is an excerpt from a gifted website that I think accurately describes her personality and personality traits common to exceptionally gifted: “ ..show incredible intensity in energy, imagination, intellectual prowess, sensitivity, and emotion which are not typical in the general population”.
I think the real issue is that some people can't accept that some people are genuinely gifted and that they really are different. My daughter dances 25-35 hours/ week, puts in minimal time studying and is first in her class out of 780 students. She does all this while being advanced by 2-3 years in math and science courses and will have taken 13 AP courses when she graduates.
However, it is the intensity of her personality that makes her unique- or if you prefer- "unusual" compared to other teens her age.




This message board is unique. If you come off as an over controlling mother of a snowflake you will be ridiculed.
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For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog.”
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  #28  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:02 PM
JLCo JLCo is offline
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"This struck me as odd. Often we are asked to do things that don't seem "logical" in the course of life as part of learning and growing, and this isn't relegated to sorority membership. Are you talking about hazing? Or doing "silly" things like ice-breakers or hanging out with sisters to get to know them better?"

To answer your question- yes she can be viewed as somewhat odd compared to other teens her age. She is silly, creative and has a very liberal attitude. We live in a very conservative republican suburb. If you watch her favorite commedy video I think you will understand how creatively different she can be compared to her surroundins @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwUX4c.

Not sure she would be patient with hazing- although she can be tolerant and loyal to her friends even when she does not agree with them. However, part of the intensity factory is not wanting to waste time doing silly things. I get the importance of doing silly things from time to time but I am not sure she gets it.

As far as social life is concerned- she hangs out with the dancers at her studio and occasionally with the kids at school. She does not seem interested in going to parties much. She states the parties are boring compared to dance. I guess only those involved in competitive dance would understand that these dancers have tons of fun at their studio.

Last edited by JLCo; 01-28-2013 at 02:19 AM.
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  #29  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:07 PM
pinapple pinapple is offline
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Oh lawd. Have you ever watched a movie with your hand over your eyes but your fingers spread apart, with magical thinking that your powerful hand will protect you from the train wreak you are witnessing?
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  #30  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:08 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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^^ this!
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