Joint account or separate account

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Single account. My husband does the money. I make most of the money. I spend money how I see fit, and he let's me know if we're getting low for the month and won't make our savings goals. It works for us. We've had a single account since we were dating (what were we thinking?) and used to fight all the time about money when we both paid bills and managed the account. I get an update now so I know where the money has gone, but not micromanaging our money has saved us tons of strife.

We are in a similar situation except I make most of the money and manage the finances. I couldn't trust him to pay any bills on time! It has been so much easier since we got married and decided to go to one bank account. We had separate accounts for the 7 years we were dating. Now it doesn't matter who pays for what because it all comes from the same account.

We are free to buy what ever we want up to a set limit. Anything over that limit has to be approved by both of us. It really is a check and balance with us since one day I am wanting to go spend crazy and he is in frugal mode and then the next day it switches. It works for us but I know it may not work for other people.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

My parents have always had separate accounts so I never really considered a joint checking account. I think it's important for everyone to have a little bit of their own money...just in case.

My grandma gave me this advice (she was married in the days of women not working and husbands being the sole provider): Put $20 a week aside in a jar because you never know what could happen to your husband.

I don't know about cash in a jar, but everybody needs "rainy day" money. Not necessarily because something could happen to your husband, but just because cars break down, the garbage disposal breaks, etc.

[AGDLynn]

Single checking and savings account - easier to keep up with the balance.
He does have a small savings account at his univ credit union for when he was purchasing cars. I had one but cancelled when we needed the small balance.

We keep our laundry separate; to each his/her own.

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

This will get interesting when I'm in school and have ZERO income for 9 months.

This is a problem most of my women friends deal with in Dubai (including me). Most of us gave up careers to move with our husbands and suddenly find ourselves being ladies of leisure. It sounds good in theory, but none of us had lives where we depended on someone else 100% for our spending money, regardless of how the bills get paid. It takes awhile to get into the swing of lunch, mani/pedis, outings, without 1-getting approval for everything and 2-feeling guilty about it. Even the ladies whose husbands make a LOT of money deal with these issues. We do eventually get over it .

[cheerfulgreek]

Joint only -two accounts, a savings and a checking, but both accounts will be joint accounts.

Premarital counseling is important, but I just think that it’s much more to it than that. A lot of couples do seek counsel, but the bottom line -a lot will depend on aligning with the right partner in the right way at the right time if it’s going to work. I just think it’s important choosing someone who is like me, yet different –being the same in his inner core but different in function. Temperaments and occupations can be different, but our values need to be as similar as possible. Opposites attract, but in most cases, they cannot maintain a long-term connection because they are not really compatible, even if they seem to agree on things when meeting with a counselor. In order for that marriage to be secure, whether you choose a joint account or individual accounts, you (in general) and your partner must operate from the same platform. You can find that out simply by letting time do its work, because the personality that was hidden from you before eventually comes to the forefront. I’d rather wait to see those things before I even make it to premarital counseling. But that’s just me.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

Agreed!

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Mevara

We are in a similar situation except I make most of the money and manage the finances. I couldn't trust him to pay any bills on time! It has been so much easier since we got married and decided to go to one bank account. We had separate accounts for the 7 years we were dating. Now it doesn't matter who pays for what because it all comes from the same account.

We are free to buy what ever we want up to a set limit. Anything over that limit has to be approved by both of us. It really is a check and balance with us since one day I am wanting to go spend crazy and he is in frugal mode and then the next day it switches. It works for us but I know it may not work for other people.

We do this too, otherwise we might buy something and screw up the budget. I have a business account as well since I get paid as a S-corp so he's always moving money around to cover this or that. We used to pay bills separately, but that always led to something falling through the cracks or to the one trip to New Orleans during residency when we were NSF because we had both paid bills without consulting each other before heading off to vacation. That's lots of fun. Vacation and no money. Thank God for credit cards! Ten years later I think we've finally paid off that bill. LOL.

I'm with DubaisSis, as well. My money is Mr. AOII Angel's money, too. We're a team. He is timid sometimes because I do make more than him, but that's only because being a radiologist is valued more than being a pediatric endocrinologist. He actually has more education than me (except he doesn't have a HS diploma and I do.) I'd rather have family harmony than MY money.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by agzg

We (as cohabitators that live in sin) have a joint checking account but separate savings and personal checking. We keep the amount in there pretty low but we go through the same bank so we can transfer money in and out easily. It's worked well for us for almost 4 years and I could see the only change after we get married would be adding a joint savings account.

Since we live in a larger city with a pretty high cost of living most of my money goes into the joint account anyway, since we pay 50/50 on everything.

This.

We are also living in sin. It was frustrating to always have to pay each other back for rent or what have you. The "okay I will pay this month's rent if you get next" or "I will write you my half of the rent tomorrow." It was just easier to put our halves in a joint account as well as money for bills and going out. It made budgeting easier for us. Whatever is left for the month is what the play money is for the couple.

ETA: We aren't at the sharing a credit card yet. He isn't as good about remember those payments, but he is with utility bills and rent. Not sure why.

We each have separate accounts where the rest of our money goes. That way he can buy lunch if he wants to at lunch and I am free to get my lattes and pedicures.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^I know people who live together (non-married) and have only one joint account, joint credit cards, and even joint cell phone plans. They even own their homes together.

That sort of rubs me the wrong way just because what if you break up? Sure marriages break up all the time, but at least then you can sort it out in divorce court legally. I've seen people get TOTALLY screwed by their exes because they broke up and had a joint credit card, home, etc.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.
Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

^^^^^
This. Sister #2 went through a nasty divorce and I come from the "Cover Your A$$ School of Philoshophy".

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

This. For as long as I've been aware, my mom has had a separate account because she would not feel comfortable taking from the family pile to spend on herself. I'm tempted to say that I would feel this way even if she had not modeled that for me (just because it makes sense) but who knows.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This is how we do it

Cue obligatory semi-related link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hiUuL5uTKc

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.

It's also referred to as the MOMO method: Money Of My Own.

Everything's put in the joint account, the budget's fulfilled, then any money left over is equally divided by both spouses/partners. That's the way we're trying it.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

^^^I know people who live together (non-married) and have only one joint account, joint credit cards, and even joint cell phone plans. They even own their homes together.

That sort of rubs me the wrong way just because what if you break up? Sure marriages break up all the time, but at least then you can sort it out in divorce court legally. I've seen people get TOTALLY screwed by their exes because they broke up and had a joint credit card, home, etc.

Live-in and I are planning on buying a home. We don't have credit cards together (and might not do that because of what happened with his parents when they divorced) but you can have a mortgage in both names which would require either the house be sold or your share bought out by whoever remains in the house. Which, when you think about it, is fair. Might be a strain, but it's fair.

Which would have to be sorted out legally, anyway.

I should add that I'm less concerned about my relationship not working out than some of my friends who are married are about their marriage, mostly because we've been together for longer than many of our married friends and any uncertainty in our relationship revolves around things that cause uncertainty in long marriages (what happens if one of us loses our job, what happens if one of our jobs transfer us, etc.) and we have contingency plans in place for that. We also have contingency plans for if we do break up, too (who moves out, who gets the animals, who takes what belongings including things we bought together). Sounds morbid but I'm a planner whose mom died and he's a planner whose parents got divorced so we planned a lot of that when we first moved in together as a way to protect ourselves and each other.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by BluPhire

Whatever you are comfortable with. There is no right answer. Joint works for some marriages, separate works for others. That's one of those dealbreakers that needs to be discussed before saying I do.

This.

We started out with one joint and two separate accounts, but then we moved and were no longer near the credit union where our joint account was- and I needed a new bank for my separate account since my old bank didn't have a branch nearby. I ended up just opening one new account, so now we have one separate, and one joint- plus we kept the credit union account as a saving type account. But I pay all the bills, so it works.

[starang21]

both.