Deactivation - please help! :(

[wildcat601]

Hey everyone,

I’ve visited GreekChat many times over the last two years and finally decided to make an account, because I’m struggling to decide whether or not I want to stay in my sorority and would love to hear your advice . Before I elaborate, I wanted to say that I’ve already read a lot of articles and forum threads before coming here, so hopefully this won’t be too repetitive! From other posts on GreekChat, two common opinions were that the OP needed to spend more time in their sorority, or should try to get more involved (e.g. leadership positions), and I don’t think these suggestions fit my description so I hope you’ll be able to help ☺

I just finished my sophomore year so I’ve been in my sorority for about a year and a half (my school has deferred rush). I was hesitant as a PNM and pledge, loved the beginning of my sophomore year, and am now considering deactivating. During this time I lived in the house, held several positions, and made big improvements for the chapter, so I really did give it my all.

Cons:
- Advisers/Nationals
After working with advisers during my leadership positions, I have no respect for them. As a freshman I was being groomed for president or another big position, but after dealing with these people I just couldn’t apply for the executive board. I feel that these women often lack common sense and don’t have the chapter’s best interests in mind. This year we had some huge issues with Nationals kicking girls out of the house and threatening to take away memberships, which we had to fight because they were completely unreasonable. I find it hard to be in the chapter when these people micromanage and control everything we do. (It’s part of being in a sorority, I know, but it seems like the other chapters at my school don’t have this problem to the same degree.)

- I’m starting to think it’s not worth my time
I spend a lot of time on school, which means things like chapter meetings and formals aren’t my priority so I don’t really like paying for them. Let alone the time recruitment requires. There are also a lot of members I dislike, ranging from fake girls to drama queens to our power-tripping president. I'm involved in many other groups and have leadership positions, so I don't rely on my sorority for extracurriculars or resume building.

Pros:
- Friends
Though I dislike a decent amount of the members, I have made some of my best friends through the sorority and I don’t want to lose those connections. I’m living with two of them next year, and these girls plan on staying in the sorority. I think I’ll be able to make the friendships last if I put in the effort. This especially applies to my "little" – I love her and feel guilty for ditching her, even though I would still be around and actively help with pledge mom week and stuff. In fact, I feel like I would have more time to spend with her and my other friends since I'm not wasting it at these other meetings. If you have experience with this, I’d appreciate your input.

- Network
The sorority is really convenient for selling furniture, sharing apartments and cabs, finding people to hang out with over the summer, and more. People also talk about the benefits of an alumni network, but judging from our advisers I’m pretty sure I would want to get involved in that anyway. Again, any experiences would be greatly appreciated!

- And finally, I have a weird attachment to some of our tshirts that I can’t really describe or understand, so I’m not sure what that’s supposed to tell me. As I was unpacking from the school year there was a lot of stuff I want to donate to my grand-little, but there are some things I can’t part with and would probably still wear. I don’t really know what this means!

Sorry for the long post, and thank you so much for your time. I've talked to my friends in the chapter but haven't been able to make a decision, so I hope I'll find some suggestions here. I feel really torn about this and would love to hear any advice you might have. Thanks again!!

UPDATE:

Thank you all so much for your responses! I appreciate your time.