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  #1  
Old 06-06-2018, 06:44 PM
cressida cressida is offline
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Not typical PNM

I didn’t have the chance to rush previously because I went to a two year school. Now I have decided it was time to get my Bachelor’s and have been accepted to my school of choice. I am essentially a junior, but I am also in my early 30’s. My best friend, who is also my age, is attending a different school this fall. She basically has the same story, except her younger sister is an alumna of one group on her campus.

My school is super small, my best guess on quota is somewhere around 14-18 based on the numbers from the last 5 years. Her’s has 7 NPC orgs to choose from, with the average quota being in the 40’s.

Without giving the schools away, I know it’s difficult, but we are both wondering if we actually stand a chance? Would recs help or would alums look at us like we are crazy since we might be older than the alum writing the Rec?
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  #2  
Old 06-06-2018, 07:47 PM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cressida View Post
I didn’t have the chance to rush previously because I went to a two year school. Now I have decided it was time to get my Bachelor’s and have been accepted to my school of choice. I am essentially a junior, but I am also in my early 30’s. My best friend, who is also my age, is attending a different school this fall. She basically has the same story, except her younger sister is an alumna of one group on her campus.

My school is super small, my best guess on quota is somewhere around 14-18 based on the numbers from the last 5 years. Her’s has 7 NPC orgs to choose from, with the average quota being in the 40’s.

Without giving the schools away, I know it’s difficult, but we are both wondering if we actually stand a chance? Would recs help or would alums look at us like we are crazy since we might be older than the alum writing the Rec?
Well, hmmm - you may get some replies along the lines of "you won't get a bid if you don't try" which is pretty much the standard answer when people ask if they should bother rushing because they are "not typical" for one reason or another. That said, I seem to recall a post or two about non-traditional older students getting bids somewhere, sometime. It's pretty foggy in my brain these days, though. Seems like I recall Theta bidding an older armed forces vet - but don't quote me on that, please. And no, I am not going to research it. Clearly that was an exceptional pnm and campus and chapter (if my memory is at all correct which is debatable at the present time).

My opinion: enjoy open house round if you want to spend the $ to register for recruitment. You are way older than any of the members. Frankly, I question what, if anything, you'll have in common with 18-22 year olds (more or less the age range of actives). In addition, you may be older than some of the chapter advisors. This can be problematic, and truthfully doesn't feel like a good fit to me. However, YMMV. Maybe it's okay at your school(s). I dunno.

Curious to read what others have to say.
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  #3  
Old 06-06-2018, 07:50 PM
thetalady thetalady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cressida View Post
I didn’t have the chance to rush previously because I went to a two year school. Now I have decided it was time to get my Bachelor’s and have been accepted to my school of choice. I am essentially a junior, but I am also in my early 30’s. My best friend, who is also my age, is attending a different school this fall. She basically has the same story, except her younger sister is an alumna of one group on her campus.

My school is super small, my best guess on quota is somewhere around 14-18 based on the numbers from the last 5 years. Her’s has 7 NPC orgs to choose from, with the average quota being in the 40’s.

Without giving the schools away, I know it’s difficult, but we are both wondering if we actually stand a chance? Would recs help or would alums look at us like we are crazy since we might be older than the alum writing the Rec?
You have to seriously ask yourself if you are going to want to hang out and work with 18-20 year olds in all of your free time while at school. And respect those 18-20 year old young women telling you what to do. Are you prepared to even be required to live in the chapter house/ floor/ suite, if they have facilities.

Having said that, I am not certain if NPCs allow women who are back for a second degree to pledge, even if the first degree was an Associate's. Someone with more Green Book knowledge will have to help here!
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  #4  
Old 06-06-2018, 07:51 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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I know schools where it wouldn't fly--where even 25-year-olds are cut by everyone after first parties--but I've heard of successful rushes by women over 22 at very urban campuses.
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  #5  
Old 06-06-2018, 07:52 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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During my time as an advisor I recall a PNM who was a mature (In her 30s) student who rushed. While she was very nice, the girls thought it was extremely odd that someone “that old” would rush. She was dropped by all sororities.

Earning an AA would not disqualify a young woman from rushing. Having a bachelor’s would.
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  #6  
Old 06-06-2018, 09:38 PM
Sciencewoman Sciencewoman is offline
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^^^ I know of a similar situation during an extension. The PNM was advised by an advisor to pursue alumna initiation once she graduated, and she did, successfully. That's pretty unusual, but it was a good option for her and she's an active advisor now.

There are just so many reasons why it would be awkward for the younger members and older member. Having a 30-something member at a fraternity mixer? Getting fined for missing events? Participating in mandatory study hours?

I work with graduate students who already have a bachelor's degree and are returning to school to earn a teaching certificate through graduate coursework in education. Most of them also have to take prerequisite undergraduate classes in their content area to earn a "teachable major " first. Many of them have told me how easily annoyed they were with some of their classmates in the undergraduate classes..."I got so irritated with my lab partner who was texting and checking social media all the time, etc."

As AZTheta says, YMMV, but I think since you're asking, you're already wondering whether it would be awkward. Honestly, I think we all know that it would be.
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  #7  
Old 06-06-2018, 09:56 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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I'll be honest, I don't think either of you have a chance of getting past the first round if you're going to schools where the majority of pnm's are traditional students.

I totally get that you probably feel like you missed out on the opportunity to be in a sorority, have sisters, etc but you should seek out other avenues appropriate for a 30-something woman. Junior League or other women's service and social organizations would be a much better fit and you would actually be with women who are of the same age/ stage/ maturity.

You may not have really thought through the logistics of pledging a sorority as a 30-something:
-Are you prepared to be in a pledge class where 90%+ of the other women are 18 and living on their own away from their parents for the first time? Do you think they'll include you in their friend groups and social activities? Do you even want to be included? Remember what you were like at 17-19....

-Are you prepared to respect a long list of mandatory sorority rules, ranging from required living in the house to required study hours or participation in social events where everyone in attendance will be 8-12+ years younger?

I LOOOVED my sorority and even lived in the house for 3 years. But every time I go back for Founders Day or alumnae weekend, I'm reminded of how much I've grown up and matured in the 15 years since I graduated. Even the most mature chapter officers just seem *so* young....because they are!
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  #8  
Old 06-07-2018, 07:23 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Quota of 14-18 is not “super small.” There are schools with a quota of 5 or less.

Unless your school is largely commuter with many people with a story similar to yours, I would skip rush and look for other organizations.
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  #9  
Old 06-07-2018, 11:40 AM
ZTAngel ZTAngel is offline
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There is a huge maturity and experience gap between an 18-22 year old and someone in their 30s. You've presumably been steadily working for the last decade, supporting yourself and doing adult things, and may even have familial obligations that are quite different than the obligations of someone much younger. I just don't see what you'd have in common with these girls who are recently out of high school and are just now exploring what life is like without parental control - something you've been doing for years. I think you'll find other types of groups or clubs on campus that are better suited for you than a sorority.
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  #10  
Old 06-07-2018, 12:15 PM
SoCalGirl SoCalGirl is offline
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When I was a collegiate we bid and initiated a NM who was 40. She was also Asian and not even the Asian girls (over half the chapter) realized she wasn't 20-22. My point being, we thought she was a typical transfer student. She was an active member for only one year before she withdrew. She didn't live as close to campus and worked so all of the required events on campus at night and on the weekend were burdensome. Add in the prep week for formal recruitment, essentially requiring her to not work, it was a deal breaker.

Good luck to you and your friend.
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  #11  
Old 06-11-2018, 01:16 PM
APhi2KD APhi2KD is offline
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My thoughts, for what they're worth. Here comes the dreaded, "You'll never know if you don't try." You're aware you won't have much in common with them age-wise, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun. It's possible you could kind of take on a big sister roll. Be upfront and honest about the situation, and focus on what you will be bringing to the table. If you do this, you'll need to go all-in for them. Be there for them and do the work. If it is too weird going to frat mixers, there are plenty of other things you can do.
It doesn't sound like a good mix, but you could definitely go to the first round and see what it feels like. Good luck!
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  #12  
Old 06-12-2018, 03:44 PM
AnchorAlumna AnchorAlumna is offline
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I'd say it depends on your school. I advised at an urban 4-year-college where the average age of a student was up in the 30s. It wasn't unusual to have a 30-year-old in a pledge group. Many students worked full-time, some still were in their old room at home, some were married.
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  #13  
Old 06-13-2018, 08:00 AM
*winter* *winter* is offline
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When I was in my sorority, I joined at 21, and we had our own group of 21-23 year olds. We felt pretty different than the 18-19 year olds already. We had different interests and were already at a different place in life. Most of us had taken a year or two off to work or serve in the military (me) so we had a different perspective. I couldn't imagine doing it at 30+.

Have you spent any considerable amount of time around 18-22 year olds? I have had part time jobs on and off for the past few years, and have worked with a lot of college kids. While we got along well enough at work, there was a clear line between who hung out together outside of work because we were simply at different places in life. Listening to their partying stories made me smile, but in no way did I want to be out there with them (I'm in my 30s).

I'm not saying this is all Greek life is about, but it is COLLEGE, and it's a significant part of what the social life of a young college student in general entails. For the other parts, volunteering, friendship, you could find avenues to do these things with other like minded people.

I don't know a whole lot about them (there are threads on here if you look) but there are community sororities out there for women who are out of college and looking for this sort of experience. Maybe someone more familiar will chime in? Or you could search for community sororities and see what comes up. The name of the most common one is escaping me at the moment.
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  #14  
Old 06-13-2018, 09:33 AM
carnation carnation is offline
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Beta Sigma Phi?
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  #15  
Old 06-13-2018, 10:02 AM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Hoping that the OP and her friend will mine this thread for wonderful, supportive advice and suggestions. Somehow this situation reminds me of "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. Probably breaking some GC rule, but I'm posting it here:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

PS In my life I almost always took the less traveled road. Glad of it, too.
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