How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

You know I would say it was just ignorance, if not for the fact that her mom would only pay for her legacy chapter. It seems to me she wants her daughter to be her Sister or not Greek at all.

Perhaps it could be some of both -- if she thinks daughter is an automatic for her chapter, that could color her view of what daughter should do.

[Splash]

I have a question for you all about legacies. If I knew some super important legacy was going through (example, her twin sister is currently in the chapter, her mom was in the chapter, her great ancestor started that particular chapter of the organization, etc), I would probably be hard pressed to cut her. As long as she wasn't rude and obnoxious, the fact that maybe she didn't have a good conversation flow with one of the members wouldn't make me want to cut her, while as for any other girl it would be. There are no guarentees, obviously but I think a huge connection like that is more important. This is not the situation for all people, but I wouldn't, would you?

[Senusret I]

I didn't think anybody but NPHC parents said they wouldn't pay for any other organization

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Splash

I have a question for you all about legacies. If I knew some super important legacy was going through (example, her twin sister is currently in the chapter, her mom was in the chapter, her great ancestor started that particular chapter of the organization, etc), I would probably be hard pressed to cut her. As long as she wasn't rude and obnoxious, the fact that maybe she didn't have a good conversation flow with one of the members wouldn't make me want to cut her, while as for any other girl it would be. There are no guarentees, obviously but I think a huge connection like that is more important. This is not the situation for all people, but I wouldn't, would you?

[turqwind]

Just saying as a mother of two wonderful teenaged children, are you sure the girl wasn't "stretching the wool" a little bit? I agree if the writer really likes this girl and wants to write her a rec, call the Mom and offer. The worst thing that can happen is that you find out Mom is as wacky as she appears and write the rec anyway. Mom may have been joking or just out of touch or Daughter may be a little bit of a drama queen who has watched too many movies/t.v. shows about sororities. Remember, we are talking about eighteen year olds. Yes, in-house legacies get cut at SEC and other schools. Legacies don't count for what they used to.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by Splash

I have a question for you all about legacies. If I knew some super important legacy was going through (example, her twin sister is currently in the chapter, her mom was in the chapter, her great ancestor started that particular chapter of the organization, etc), I would probably be hard pressed to cut her. As long as she wasn't rude and obnoxious, the fact that maybe she didn't have a good conversation flow with one of the members wouldn't make me want to cut her, while as for any other girl it would be. There are no guarentees, obviously but I think a huge connection like that is more important. This is not the situation for all people, but I wouldn't, would you?

So would that possibly qualify as "a thing"?

[Katmandu]

dgdramadawg, I think it is terrific of you and your friends to go ahead and write recs for this girl. She doesn't know what a good friend she has in you!

My God daughter is going through recruitment in August at an SEC school. Her mom was in a glo in Ohio, where recs were and still are, unnecesary and legacies get a lot of consideration. When I told her we needed to get one (preferably two) recs for each chapter, she pointed to the recruitment book which says prominently, "Recs are not necessary. If a chapter needs a recomendation for you, it is their responsibility to get it for you.". I screamed, "NOOOOOO!!!!" Then told her we were getting recs. Period. I also told her that legacy status meant nothing, since the chapter probably had 50 or more legacies going through.

WHY do SEC schools (and other schools that require recs) say they aren't necessary? That makes me crazy. Girls in the know, KNOW, and everyone else is SOL.

Let's hope your girl's Mom is just clueless and narrow minded. That's better than the alternative (that she's a out to make her daughter's life miserable.

Anyway, you are doing a nice thing!

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

So would that possibly qualify as "a thing"?

FTW

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Even this is no longer true at every chapter and every school now.

Really? It's still AEPhi's policy, unless something has changed that I don't know about. (Note that I went to a school where recruitment was not super-competitive. In my entire time as an active, I never even saw a rec. A legacy would pretty much have had to torch the rush room to get cut after open houses.) Is this a side effect of the current release figures method, or is it because there are so many more legacies attending college now than there were 20 or 30 or 40 years ago?

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I didn't think anybody but NPHC parents said they wouldn't pay for any other organization

You'd be surprised

One of my fellow chapter founders has an aunt who is an AEPhi. She didn't quite go so far as to refuse to pay her daughters' dues if they joined sororities other than AEPhi, but she would not permit them to apply to any college that didn't have an AEPhi chapter - which meant they were forbidden to apply to a lot of excellent schools. For all her efforts, none of her daughters actually went AEPhi.

[Splash]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

So would that possibly qualify as "a thing"?

Don't know what you mean but my question still stands.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

One of my fellow chapter founders has an aunt who is an AEPhi. She didn't quite go so far as to refuse to pay her daughters' dues if they joined sororities other than AEPhi, but she would not permit them to apply to any college that didn't have an AEPhi chapter - which meant they were forbidden to apply to a lot of excellent schools. For all her efforts, none of her daughters actually went AEPhi.

FWIW, I wasn't permitted to go any school without my legacy chapter - and then I went ADPi instead.

I suppose I'm a bit guilty of this: I've told daughters of close chapter friends that, if they go ADPi, they get the choice of my pins. Here's hoping that this is the year that I lose a pin!

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Really? It's still AEPhi's policy, unless something has changed that I don't know about. (Note that I went to a school where recruitment was not super-competitive. In my entire time as an active, I never even saw a rec. A legacy would pretty much have had to torch the rush room to get cut after open houses.) Is this a side effect of the current release figures method, or is it because there are so many more legacies attending college now than there were 20 or 30 or 40 years ago?

I would assume it's a combination of rfm and the geometric increase in the numbers of legacies with each generation. When you have more legacy pnms than invitations available for the second round of recruitment, you have no choice but to cut some legacies. I assume that most groups' policies are to provide some kind of special consideration for legacies, but sometimes automatically passing a pnm on to the second round is no longer possible.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by honeychile

FWIW, I wasn't permitted to go any school without my legacy chapter - and then I went ADPi instead.

I suppose I'm a bit guilty of this: I've told daughters of close chapter friends that, if they go ADPi, they get the choice of my pins. Here's hoping that this is the year that I lose a pin!

Bribery versus extortion?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Splash

I have a question for you all about legacies. If I knew some super important legacy was going through (example, her twin sister is currently in the chapter, her mom was in the chapter, her great ancestor started that particular chapter of the organization, etc), I would probably be hard pressed to cut her. As long as she wasn't rude and obnoxious, the fact that maybe she didn't have a good conversation flow with one of the members wouldn't make me want to cut her, while as for any other girl it would be. There are no guarentees, obviously but I think a huge connection like that is more important. This is not the situation for all people, but I wouldn't, would you?

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

I would assume it's a combination of rfm and the geometric increase in the numbers of legacies with each generation. When you have more legacy pnms than invitations available for the second round of recruitment, you have no choice but to cut some legacies. I assume that most groups' policies are to provide some kind of special consideration for legacies, but sometimes automatically passing a pnm on to the second round is no longer possible.

^^^This.

I tend to think that as long as a legacy isn't glaringly terrible or an obvious bad fit, then she deserves a chance. If there are spots avail. and the legacies seems to fit well, I don't think anyone is saying that chapters should just go cutting them just because.

However, the decision is not so cut and dry at bigger schools. At some SEC schools, there are chapters that could fill an entire NM class with JUST legacies. So you just have to start cutting them.

There may not be anything wrong with any of them. In fact, most of them might be excellent young ladies, but you just cannot keep them all and expect to have room for non-legacies as well.

[qbt1990]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

So would that possibly qualify as "a thing"?

hahahaahahaha. SO GOOD