Young & Married

[WVU alpha phi]

Originally Posted by babygirlash

Thank you everybody for your posting your comments. Fortunatly for me I live with my husband and also have all of my family around me that supports my decision on trying to join a soroity. They offer to help with my child through out my college period. I am going to purse to the soroity that I do choose. The worst thing that could happen is they say NO. But I will never find that out until I try!!! I think that by being married to my childs father would be a postive that a soroity would look at, not a negiative. Thank You all!!!

I think having a child will be weighed negatively. I don't know one person in my school's Greek system who had a child. Maybe it happens elsewhere, but it definitely is not the norm. Your life as a wife and mother is 100% different from that of a typical college student.

A girl in my pledge class was 23 or 24 and received a bid because she was a legacy. She never hung out with the rest of the pledge class, who were a bunch of 18 and 19 year olds, and eventually dropped out of the sorority within a year. If age makes that much of a difference, I'd think motherhood would be even worse.

[Zillini]

I don't want to sound harsh. You may be a wonderful person, wife, mother and student and those are where your priorities should lie. Things like new member meetings, chapter meetings, hanging out at the chapter house, late nights pomping homecoming decorations, recruitment and those workshops, swaps with fraternities, fill in the blank isn't where you should be spending your free time now. Spend it with your husband and child. You'll never get these early years of your child's life back, enjoy them while you can. I recently lost a child and I would do anything to have had more time with her.

[Blue Skies]

Originally Posted by Zillini

I don't want to sound harsh. You may be a wonderful person, wife, mother and student and those are where your priorities should lie. Things like new member meetings, chapter meetings, hanging out at the chapter house, late nights pomping homecoming decorations, recruitment and those workshops, swaps with fraternities, fill in the blank isn't where you should be spending your free time now. Spend it with your husband and child. You'll never get these early years of your child's life back, enjoy them while you can. I recently lost a child and I would do anything to have had more time with her.

Zillini, I am so sorry for your loss.

Babygirlash, your little boy needs you. I am an elementary school teacher, and I see so many young children who are desperate for attention because their moms are pulled in so many different directions. Your son will grow up so quickly, that you could blink and you'd miss it. Give yourself the gift of his childhood. Later, when he's a little older, you can investigate community sororities such as Beta Sigma Phi. But for right now, just enjoy your beautiful little boy. JMO

[babygirlash]

Originally Posted by OTW

Academics. Community Service. Leadership. Sororities tend to favor on those things.

Being married to your baby's daddy? I'm not sure if that even falls on their "Good Candidate for Membership" checklist.

No one is asking for brownie points to enter a soroity. I want to work hard just like anybody else. I understand what every body is saying. All I want is a chance. The worst thing they can say is NO.

[33girl]

If you attend a VERY untraditional school where the sororities contain returning students, married students etc and typical college social activities are a very small part of it, then give it a try.

But if you go through rush and they tell you that there are mixers every Thursday, fraternity parties that members are "encouraged" to attend on the weekends, and many all-Greek philanthropies to be attended, I would not join. You'll either be away from your baby far too much, or paying for something you can't fully enjoy. Lots of bonding gets done at social events and if you're always hanging back or unable to attend, you'll miss the whole point of being in a sorority.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by babygirlash

No one is asking for brownie points to enter a soroity. I want to work hard just like anybody else. I understand what every body is saying. All I want is a chance. The worst thing they can say is NO.

What type of sorority are you trying to join?

There are NO NPC sororities at Technical schools. I could be wrong, but I don't believe there are any NPHC sororities at technical schools either.

If there are no sororities on your campus, you can't join one and there won't be anyone there to tell you 'yes' or 'no'.

[LAblondeGPhi]

I'm so confused by the OP's thread and post.

OP - Maybe you should consider joining an organization through Alumnae Initiation. Some NPC organizations (mine included) have a process by which to join as an alumna member. This a good option for women who attended a college without a Greek system, or who simply missed out on the chance.

It sounds like your options (for many, many reasons) are limited if you're thinking about joining almost any social sorority as an undergraduate member.

Service GLOs are a whole other ballgame. Check with your school's Student Life/Organizations office.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by LAblondeGPhi

I'm so confused by the OP's thread and post.

OP - Maybe you should consider joining an organization through Alumnae Initiation. Some NPC organizations (mine included) have a process by which to join as an alumna member. This a good option for women who attended a college without a Greek system, or who simply missed out on the chance.

I know you meant well, but I feel the need to point this out:

AI is not for EVERY woman who for whatever reason didn't join in college.

It's also not something you can just "apply for."

It's more like an honor for certain women who have contributed to the sorority or for a woman whom the sorority feels is so worthy that they should make an exception to the normal mode of joining (collegiate recruitment) and initiate her as an alumna.

It's occurrence across the sororities is extremely rare (a handful of women per year).

It's more of an exception to the rule, not something that is available to every woman who didn't join in college.

So it's not really something that should be suggested for PNMs on GC, simply because it's not something that is for everyone.

See the AI forum if you need more info.

[als463]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

What type of sorority are you trying to join?

There are NO NPC sororities at Technical schools. I could be wrong, but I don't believe there are any NPHC sororities at technical schools either.

If there are no sororities on your campus, you can't join one and there won't be anyone there to tell you 'yes' or 'no'.

I will say that PennTech (Pennsylvania College of Technology) does have some NPCs...and some National Fraternities...I'm pretty sure. If we are talking about something like ITT-then, I agree. It all depends.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by LAblondeGPhi

OP - Maybe you should consider joining an organization through Alumnae Initiation.

Dear God, no.

[cbm]

I also do not understand what a married mother (although somewhat young) would have in common with single 18-21 year olds. Yes, we did philanthropy and study together, but a huge part of sorority life is social and meeting with fraternities for mixers and date parties. I just don't see how a lot of this would be appealing to a young married woman.

Also - I could be totally off base, but I seem to remember either my school / NPC or chapter limiting recruitment to unmarried undergraduates. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? (Probably not or else it would have already been mentioned!)

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by cbm

Also - I could be totally off base, but I seem to remember either my school / NPC or chapter limiting recruitment to unmarried undergraduates. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? (Probably not or else it would have already been mentioned!)

I don't know if it was just my chapter or my entire GLO, but I do remember that we could only pledge unmarried women into our chapter. **

However, I pledged over 15 years ago so that rule (whether it was local or international) could have changed since then.

**I can't remember anyone under the age of 30 who was married on my campus anyway, so it wasn't ever even an issue.

[minDyG]

A married girl pledged my chapter the semester after I did.

To the OP: As a married mother who went early alum, I empathize with your desire to still feel a part of the group, and want to find time and inclusion in the things other girls your age are a part of and able to enjoy. On the other hand, the words of those who've already posted are true: your priorities now rest elsewhere. There are plenty of other organizations available that will allow you to fulfill your need for social interaction and/or philanthropic participation. Give those a try.

[OhSeven]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

I don't know if it was just my chapter or my entire GLO, but I do remember that we could only pledge unmarried women into our chapter. **

However, I pledged over 15 years ago so that rule (whether it was local or international) could have changed since then.

**I can't remember anyone under the age of 30 who was married on my campus anyway, so it wasn't ever even an issue.

I feel like it's this way still... I had a conversation with someone in my chapter when I was pledging about how we couldn't be married, as a joke. My school has a pretty traditional greek system, though, so it is definitely assumed that no girls rushing are married... I doubt any are engaged either..

[LAblondeGPhi]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I know you meant well, but I feel the need to point this out:

AI is not for EVERY woman who for whatever reason didn't join in college.

It's also not something you can just "apply for."

It's more like an honor for certain women who have contributed to the sorority or for a woman whom the sorority feels is so worthy that they should make an exception to the normal mode of joining (collegiate recruitment) and initiate her as an alumna.

It's occurrence across the sororities is extremely rare (a handful of women per year).

It's more of an exception to the rule, not something that is available to every woman who didn't join in college.

So it's not really something that should be suggested for PNMs on GC, simply because it's not something that is for everyone.

See the AI forum if you need more info.

Originally Posted by kddani

Dear God, no.

Ok, points taken. I failed to adequately express how rare the process is, and that it is something primarily undertaken by close family members or very close friends with existing members - AND for women who have demonstrated outstanding qualities that would make her an asset to the organization. These qualities really have to shine.

Babygirlash - just to clarify, alumnae initiation is generally for women who already have some significant tie to women in an organization, if the organization event supports alumnae initiation at all.

Though, I will say that I have always had a tendency to think that a significant portion of the rarity of AI is due to the lack of interest from potential initiates. I don't know of too many grown women who are willing to go through the process.