Boyfriend?

[Udelhunny]

I'm rushing spring semester, and I'm excited to make the lifelong friends I know I'll make with the sisters, but I have one concern... Is it practical or even possible to have a boyfriend going into greek life? I've been with mine for nearly three years, and although I've balanced my relationship him and with friends before, I'm worried that I'll have to make some sort of choice.
Thanks for any advice you can give me!

[AKAtude]

I remember when I first got to college and told my boyfriend at the time that I wanted to eventually pledge a sorority, he was not supportive of the idea at all. Fortunately, that relationship ended. Later on I began dating the guy who is now my fiance. He was always supportive of my decision. He was there for me before, during, and after the initiation process.

I would suggest that you get an idea of his feelings towards the greek system. Does he consider it a positive or negative thing or is he indifferent? You will definitely make new friends, but don't neglect your boyfriend or your relationship. That was one mistake I made. I got so caught up in greek life at the time that I wasn't the girlfriend that I should have been. Fortunately for me, my fiance has always been patient and understanding and we were able to work through all of that.

So, just keep the lines of communication going, don't neglect him, don't let outsiders influence you, and don't let them interfer in your relationship.

Good luck!

[Udelhunny]

thanks- that helps

[GammaPhi-WI girl]

I know your exact fears and worries. I just joined a sorority last semester. My boyfriend of 4 years was not to thrilled with the idea because he realized the large time commitment that it involved, but I had a heart to heart conversation with him and told him that I really loved being part of the whole thing and now he is much more understanding about the whole situation. I really want to run for an office this semester and I discussed that with him also, he was a bit disappointed but realized that it is what I really wanted. You must also do the same for yourself. Boyfriends are great, but you have to do what is right for you, or you may one day regret the decision.

[ZChi4Life]

Udelhunny, I think that you just have to be open and honest w/ your boyfriend. Just let him know that this is something that you want to do and that it would mean a lot to you if he supported you through it. In my situation, not only was I in the process of joining a sorority, but I was chartering a chapter of my sorority on my campus. So I had to make an even bigger commitment than most others that join a chapter already established. My boyfriend at the time honestly thought sororities were stupid. He didn't see the point of going through all the "hoops" to get in a group that you call "sisters". He obviously was NOT educated on greek life like myself. But, once he saw how serious I was about it, he backed off and eventually began asking me how the process was going or if there was anything he could do for me.

So I think you just gotta show your bf that you are serious about joining a sorority and I'm sure that he'll support you through it. He might not like it at first, but that may be due to his lack of knowledge about greek life. If he's against it, he may just be thinking of all the stereotypes that are involved. Just assure him that those things rarely are true and that joining a sorority will be a great benefit to you and your college experience. It's funny but sometimes guys need a little assurance too just like us Good luck and I hope everything works out w/ you and your bf!