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  #16  
Old 09-25-2009, 11:59 AM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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My advice to you would be see if the one you rejected is still accepting members and see if they would consider accepting you belatedly. I think you've gotten the picture from the posts above that "I'm too good for most of the sororities on my campus" just doesn't fly.

Maybe there was a valid reason for not putting that house on your pref card, but if it was popularity, colors, shape of the letters, there was a girl there with red hair and I hate that, I'd do some real soul-searching and get over it. 25% of a chapter is made of it's new members. There was a reason they wanted you, and being a part of a sorority is such a great thing that being in a less than the top tier house is still worth it. Plus, as stated above, if they need a little push in social standing, you can always help improve that once you're in.

Good luck. I hope you can come to terms with your situation soon because if it's a fairly competitive school, going through FR again probably won't garner you better results.
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  #17  
Old 09-25-2009, 12:44 PM
AXOrushadvisor AXOrushadvisor is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cstatebabe View Post
ETA: Just read some related posts so sorry if y'all don't want to respond. :-) Words of encouragement are always accepted though!

I just went through formal recruitment and came away with upsetting results.

I only listed one chapter on my pref card (out of two) and ended up not getting a bid. I'm not going to lie...I'm pretty bitter about the whole process. I feel like formal recruitment is so superficial and I don't get why I wasn't chosen. I feel like I'm the type of person who could fit into any of the "popular" houses because I'm nice and have the same interests as many of the other ladies (fashion, communications, cheerleading, and dance were big ones I had in common with the women I talked to).

I'm a sophomore at a moderately competitive school for Greek life (7 chapters). I'm tentatively planning on going through informal recruitment this winter.

Do you ladies have any advice for me? I've been uncharacteristically self-conscious about everything since recruitment.
This is the business of recruitment that I don't care for. Cstatebabe, I hope that when you single intentional preferenced that you got advice from your rho chi that you would be limiting your chances for a bid. If not shame on the rho chi. You should have been fully informed of the consequences of the decision you were about to make. BTW, I think it is ok to suicide as long as you know you would not like the other Chapter and would rather be bidless then join the other group- that is the chance you take.

Recruitment is a mutual process and sort of a numbers game. No one can predict how it will all turn out- including the Chapters. I totally understand your frustration with not receiving a bid. Please know that if you were at any preference party you were liked enough to be on the bid list, but the quota of the Chapter was filled prior to getting to your name on the list. Being a sophomore may have had a hand in that - when all things are created equal (your equally cute, involved, fashionable ect) most Chapters will want to take Freshman. It is simply because most Chapters have a whole class from the year before who are sophomores and they need freshman to continue the legacy of the Chapter.

Informal recruitment is usually less competitive and stressful, but a lot of the "popular" houses wont participate because they will be above total (the total amount of women allowed in any single Chapter) Good luck to you and I hope you find a home.
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  #18  
Old 09-25-2009, 01:24 PM
ellebud ellebud is offline
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From the perspective of two generations of recruitment: I am sorry that things didn't turn out the way that you wanted. It is heartbreaking when you don't get what you dreamed would be your destiny. When I went through recruitment I pledged the least desirable house, the Jewish house. I am still friends with some of my sisters today. We have all seen each other through good times and really bad times including cancers, death, (the bad) marriages and July 4th weekends(the good). My daugther pledged a very top tier house at the same extremely competitive university. I hope that she, many years from now, will be able to hold her sisters' hands through the bad and joyful times. THIS is what sisterhood is about.

(Oh, and if you had joined a house where fashion, popular television shows etc. weren't the big thing...consider it an opportunity to initiate the less fashionable/culturally saavy into the modern world.)

Last edited by ellebud; 09-25-2009 at 01:45 PM.
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  #19  
Old 09-25-2009, 03:35 PM
Leslie Anne Leslie Anne is offline
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Originally Posted by ellebud View Post

(Oh, and if you had joined a house where fashion, popular television shows etc. weren't the big thing...consider it an opportunity to initiate the less fashionable/culturally saavy into the modern world.)
Love it.
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  #20  
Old 09-25-2009, 09:37 PM
als463 als463 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cstatebabe View Post
ETA: Just read some related posts so sorry if y'all don't want to respond. :-) Words of encouragement are always accepted though!

I just went through formal recruitment and came away with upsetting results.

I only listed one chapter on my pref card (out of two) and ended up not getting a bid. I'm not going to lie...I'm pretty bitter about the whole process. I feel like formal recruitment is so superficial and I don't get why I wasn't chosen. I feel like I'm the type of person who could fit into any of the "popular" houses because I'm nice and have the same interests as many of the other ladies (fashion, communications, cheerleading, and dance were big ones I had in common with the women I talked to).

I'm a sophomore at a moderately competitive school for Greek life (7 chapters). I'm tentatively planning on going through informal recruitment this winter.

Do you ladies have any advice for me? I've been uncharacteristically self-conscious about everything since recruitment.

Seriously? What is up with all of these posts of girls who go to schools at either competitive southern schools or go in as upperclassmen, yet they feel they are TOO GOOD for certain GLOs? If you REALLY WANTED to be Greek, you would have placed BOTH names on your card. I don't feel bad for you. I am going to come off as the harsh B**** on here (and generally I try to post every now and then), but I just can't keep my mouth shut on this stuff. It is good you have some great people on GC that will try and make you feel better, but you won't get any sympathy from me. Maybe next time you should realize that being a member of ANY NPC is a privilege in itself. All of the NPCS have something great to offer. You took your chance. You blew it! Good luck with Informal rush.
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  #21  
Old 09-26-2009, 07:04 AM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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Originally Posted by als463 View Post
Seriously? What is up with all of these posts of girls who go to schools at either competitive southern schools or go in as upperclassmen, yet they feel they are TOO GOOD for certain GLOs? If you REALLY WANTED to be Greek, you would have placed BOTH names on your card. I don't feel bad for you. I am going to come off as the harsh B**** on here (and generally I try to post every now and then), but I just can't keep my mouth shut on this stuff. It is good you have some great people on GC that will try and make you feel better, but you won't get any sympathy from me. Maybe next time you should realize that being a member of ANY NPC is a privilege in itself. All of the NPCS have something great to offer. You took your chance. You blew it! Good luck with Informal rush.
I just pretty much gave this same sentiment in another thread. I'm sick of girls coming here and whining about how pretty and popular they are and how only the "desperate" or "unpopular" houses want them. You know what? If the "pretty" and "popular" houses didn't want you, then you may just not actually be as pretty and popular as you thought you were, and those houses that you thought were "beneath you" - they're Greek - you're not.
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  #22  
Old 09-26-2009, 08:19 AM
Leslie Anne Leslie Anne is offline
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Originally Posted by AlphaFrog View Post
I'm sick of girls coming here and whining about how pretty and popular they are and how only the "desperate" or "unpopular" houses want them. You know what? If the "pretty" and "popular" houses didn't want you, then you may just not actually be as pretty and popular as you thought you were, and those houses that you thought were "beneath you" - they're Greek - you're not.
This!
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  #23  
Old 09-26-2009, 09:02 AM
Katmandu Katmandu is offline
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When I look at the "average" pnm coming through recruitment at Miami, she ranges from attractive and put together to stunning, she is typically slender, academically strong, stylish and accomplished, with a boatload of HS activities and honors on her resume. Not all of these 900 women can pledge the same two or three chapters. Some pnms who believe they only belong in the "popular" chapters deal well with reality and go on to have a great greek experience with one of the many excellent groups on campus. (all of them). Others drop, feel insulted or rejected and miss out on a fun ride with a "lesser" chapter that has a full slate of social and philanthropic activities and a great alumna experience.

It is a difficult moment when you discover that you are not the only star in the room. Most of us experience this in first or second grade, and are stronger for it, but some of us learn it much later, when the stakes are higher than whether you are chosen to be eraser monitor or selected for the Bluebird reading circle.

The answer to the question, "What is wrong with me?", is, "Nothing, really. You just didn't want to dance with the one that asked you."
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  #24  
Old 09-26-2009, 09:14 AM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Originally Posted by Katmandu View Post

The answer to the question, "What is wrong with me?", is, "Nothing, really. You just didn't want to dance with the one that asked you."

This!
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  #25  
Old 09-26-2009, 09:40 AM
indygphib indygphib is offline
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Originally Posted by AlphaFrog View Post
I just pretty much gave this same sentiment in another thread. I'm sick of girls coming here and whining about how pretty and popular they are and how only the "desperate" or "unpopular" houses want them. You know what? If the "pretty" and "popular" houses didn't want you, then you may just not actually be as pretty and popular as you thought you were, and those houses that you thought were "beneath you" - they're Greek - you're not.
*rousing round of applause*
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  #26  
Old 09-26-2009, 09:47 AM
texas*princess texas*princess is offline
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Originally Posted by OTW View Post
Hun, don't be bitter if you didn't even bother giving the 2nd house a chance. But, that's the chance you took by only listing one.

Good luck with informal recruitment. But keep in mind that maybe only a few houses out of 7 will be participating. There could be a chance that the "popular" houses are done recruiting until next fall. If you get rid of the "I can only see myself in the popular houses" mindset, you might have a better chance of getting that bid.
Totally agreed.

If the "popular" houses are really all that popular, they might be participating in recruitment in the Fall. I think if you really wanted to be Greek you would have given the other house a shot... esp. since you're a sophomore @ a moderately competitive school
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  #27  
Old 09-26-2009, 10:01 AM
AXOrushadvisor AXOrushadvisor is offline
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Well Said!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katmandu View Post
When I look at the "average" pnm coming through recruitment at Miami, she ranges from attractive and put together to stunning, she is typically slender, academically strong, stylish and accomplished, with a boatload of HS activities and honors on her resume. Not all of these 900 women can pledge the same two or three chapters. Some pnms who believe they only belong in the "popular" chapters deal well with reality and go on to have a great greek experience with one of the many excellent groups on campus. (all of them). Others drop, feel insulted or rejected and miss out on a fun ride with a "lesser" chapter that has a full slate of social and philanthropic activities and a great alumna experience.

It is a difficult moment when you discover that you are not the only star in the room. Most of us experience this in first or second grade, and are stronger for it, but some of us learn it much later, when the stakes are higher than whether you are chosen to be eraser monitor or selected for the Bluebird reading circle.

The answer to the question, "What is wrong with me?", is, "Nothing, really. You just didn't want to dance with the one that asked you."
LOVE THIS! You are so right. I always feel there is a place for EVERY PNM IF you fully participate. I would not listen the the "tent talk" because the majority of it is not true.

I have said this before, but I'll say it again. A similar situation happened to my niece when she went through recruitment. Beautiful, 4.0, Captain of the dance team, popular- all around perfect for any Chapter on her campus. The problem? None except she is reserved. Had the perfect recruitment going into Preference and then was dropped by all the "good" houses. She was left with two great Chapters who were not "top tier" I got the call in tears and I told her "you have two options if you want to be Greek" She went to 2 preference parties listed 2 on her bid card. She got a bid from her first choice and guess what? Her whole pledge class was a group of GREAT girls that had the same thing happen to them. Guess what else? She became involved, made a difference and 5 years later it is considered a "top house" on campus. Everyone can not be in the golden house of the moment- that is what recruitment is designed to do- spread out the PNM's to ALL the houses.

I'll get off my soap box for now
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  #28  
Old 09-26-2009, 10:04 AM
Blue Skies Blue Skies is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cstatebabe View Post
ETA: Just read some related posts so sorry if y'all don't want to respond. :-) Words of encouragement are always accepted though!

I just went through formal recruitment and came away with upsetting results.

I only listed one chapter on my pref card (out of two) and ended up not getting a bid. I'm not going to lie...I'm pretty bitter about the whole process. I feel like formal recruitment is so superficial and I don't get why I wasn't chosen. I feel like I'm the type of person who could fit into any of the "popular" houses because I'm nice and have the same interests as many of the other ladies (fashion, communications, cheerleading, and dance were big ones I had in common with the women I talked to).

I'm a sophomore at a moderately competitive school for Greek life (7 chapters). I'm tentatively planning on going through informal recruitment this winter.

Do you ladies have any advice for me? I've been uncharacteristically self-conscious about everything since recruitment.
SIP'ing ("suiciding" one chapter) is very risky indeed. Many women who do it fully understand (and are comfortable with) the possibility of not being greek. You made it through to preference with two houses, one of which you liked, so I wouldn't call your rush unsuccessful. The bid matching process just didn't work out as you had hoped. It happens. As others have said, your sophomore status might have hurt you to some degree.

If you go through informal, do it with a VERY open mind. Sometimes a house that you feel iffy about is actually a very good match. I would forget about the notion of popularity and just focus on whether or not you can be friends with these women. Sure, women can talk for hours about nail polish colors, fashion, etc., but try to have more in-depth, meaningful conversations with your rushers. These are the women who would be there for you should you suffer a serious misfortune in college, a bad breakup, etc. Give them a chance to play that supportive role for you...and you for them.

Having said that...sometimes there just isn't a match. Most college kids manage to have fun whether inside or outside of a greek organization.

Good luck to you.
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  #29  
Old 09-26-2009, 10:46 AM
texas*princess texas*princess is offline
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Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor View Post
LOVE THIS! You are so right. I always feel there is a place for EVERY PNM IF you fully participate.
I agree with most of your post, but this can be misleading.

I DO agree that when a pnm "fully participates" she maximizes her chances of receiving a bid, but that doesn't necessarily mean that there is "always" a place for "EVERY PNM" if they do so.

There are great women who are smart, beautiful, involved in community service, has a ton of extra-curriculars, etc. on their resume that might make it all the way to the end but end up getting cross-cut or slipping through the cracks every year on a lot of campuses.

Fully participating in recruitment doesn't really mean there will be a place for you, it just means that you are maximizing your chances of finding a place.
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  #30  
Old 09-26-2009, 03:57 PM
AXOrushadvisor AXOrushadvisor is offline
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Originally Posted by texas*princess View Post
I agree with most of your post, but this can be misleading.

I DO agree that when a pnm "fully participates" she maximizes her chances of receiving a bid, but that doesn't necessarily mean that there is "always" a place for "EVERY PNM" if they do so.

There are great women who are smart, beautiful, involved in community service, has a ton of extra-curriculars, etc. on their resume that might make it all the way to the end but end up getting cross-cut or slipping through the cracks every year on a lot of campuses.

Fully participating in recruitment doesn't really mean there will be a place for you, it just means that you are maximizing your chances of finding a place.
You are right it is not guarantee, although with quota additions I'm finding less women are being cross cut and more are being placed if they fully participated.
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