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Welcome to our newest member, dartyparty |
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08-17-2009, 04:51 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn
I have to say this. It's a little hard to take the PNMs and moms who come here to complain about having had no options/being cut when the truth is most of them admit they DID still have one or more chapters left on their party schedules when they dropped. But of course it was the dreaded "I just felt like I didn't fit in/click with chapter/s."
Those of us who have been on Greekchat for any length of time know that you're not complaining about being cut from the "top tier/beautiful model/rocket scientist/fraternity favorite/insert your tent talk hyperbole here chapter." It's because you didn't want the "struggling/smallest/fatty/ugly/lamest/insert your tent talk smash and bash here." The PNM was too good to be one of those.
You know what? Those were the women who wanted you; poor GPAs, lack of recs, poor social skills, out of state residence, body odor or other real or imagined issue. The truth is, the PNM rejected them and rejected the Bama Greek system. The Bama Greek system did not reject them.
Oh, and I am kind of astonished that anyone would think a 3.0 GPA coming out of high school equates with Phi Beta Kappa type expectations.
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This is why I <3 LadyLonghorn.
Seriously peeps, at the end of the day you/your kids are free to accept/decline any invitations.
But when you have options and drop out, you kind of forfeit the right to complain about the process.
I can sympathize with the moms whose kids are cut completely, but if your kid just decided that she didn't like her remaining chapters and dropped out, it is hard to feel sorry for them.
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi
Lakers Nation.
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08-17-2009, 05:09 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Land of Chaos
Posts: 9,250
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Thank you, Lady Longhorn - you expressed what I've been thinking, but was unsure how to start that conversation. You did it well, and I appreciate it.
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Gamma Phi Beta
Courtesy is owed, respect is earned, love is given.
Proud daughter AND mother of a Gamma Phi. 3 generations of love, labor, learning and loyalty.
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08-17-2009, 05:17 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: U.S.
Posts: 3,322
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06
Do you feel that the Bama Panhellenic does a good job of communicating to PNMs that THEY need to be securing recs?
I know that there are sometimes issues with some SEC schools continuing to perpetuate the myth that "it's the CHAPTER'S JOB to get recs for PNMs."
Note: not saying that the chapters NEVER do this, but the sororities generally aren't going to do it.
I also know that there's a resolution stating that they HAVE TO say that, but I really think that that needs to be changed.
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At least on its web site Bama's Panhellenic encourages PNMs to get recs:
http://www.uapanhellenic.com/recomme...nformation.php
The statement's not as strong as it could be, but at least it's a little better than the "it's the sororities' responsibility" horseshxt we still see some places.
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08-17-2009, 05:34 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Atlanta area
Posts: 5,372
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn
I have to say this. It's a little hard to take the PNMs and moms who come here to complain about having had no options/being cut when the truth is most of them admit they DID still have one or more chapters left on their party schedules when they dropped. But of course it was the dreaded "I just felt like I didn't fit in/click with chapter/s."
Those of us who have been on Greekchat for any length of time know that you're not complaining about being cut from the "top tier/beautiful model/rocket scientist/fraternity favorite/insert your tent talk hyperbole here chapter." It's because you didn't want the "struggling/smallest/fatty/ugly/lamest/insert your tent talk smash and bash here." The PNM was too good to be one of those.
You know what? Those were the women who wanted you; poor GPAs, lack of recs, poor social skills, out of state residence, body odor or other real or imagined issue. The truth is, the PNM rejected them and rejected the Bama Greek system. The Bama Greek system did not reject them.
Oh, and I am kind of astonished that anyone would think a 3.0 GPA coming out of high school equates with Phi Beta Kappa type expectations.
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Zing!
But yeah, I think you are fundamentally correct.
I was a formal rush drop out and took it ridiculously hard, so I really do sympathize and recognize the experience, especially right now if you're living in a freshman women's dorm, is emotionally challenging.
But keep it in perspective: if you still want to be Greek you can get involved, meet all kinds of people, and re-rush. I think the "once cut, always cut" rule is a myth at a lot of chapters, particularly in the era of RFM when chapters have to release girls they actually liked a lot.
And you know what? You don't even have to be Greek. The majority of students aren't, and they still love the Tide and the Capstone. Dust yourself off and move forward rather than looking back at recruitment.
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08-17-2009, 05:43 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UGAalum94
And you know what? You don't even have to be Greek. The majority of students aren't, and they still love the Tide and the Capstone. Dust yourself off and move forward rather than looking back at recruitment.
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THIS.
I get that at these schools, rush is before school starts and it pretty much IS your life for a week and it comsumes you. So if things don't go your way, it's tough.
What I think people forget is that these are HUGE universities and once school starts, here comes the 80% of the population who could care less about recruitment and won't bat an eyelash at you getting cut (because they probably don't care).
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi
Lakers Nation.
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08-17-2009, 05:46 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Posts: 4,575
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nacre
My daughter was in this boat. She quit rush this year after her one preference party. She felt like it wasn't right for her.
She has a 3.5 GPA, good activities and was a competitive dancer on a national level. Her down side - she is from out-of-state and doesn't know a single person at Bama. We had a very hard time getting recs.
In April, she went to an LSU Panhellenic tea. She was told the group couldn't write her recs because she was going to an out-of-state school. So we asked friends, teachers and neighbors. (Hours of work!!!) I was told by everyone I asked that it is the Chapter's responsibility to secure recs for the PNMs. I was informed over and over that if a house likes a girl and they don't have a rec of file, during rush they will put the girl in a room to meet an alumna. The alumna will interview the girl and then write a rec. Impression is that this is the best way to get a rec. Most friends and neighbors felt like it was a waste of time to write her one.
I'm a Kappa and this spring's issue of The Key had an article about membership. The article stressed that it is the Kappa's responsibility to secure a reference of a girl. Foolish me, I figured Kappa's philosophy was probably the norm.
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In Louisiana the alums usually do the recs without requests from the girls (at least that's how my DG friends in the town where my family is from gather and do them). Here in AL, they don't much do that. Each woman is on her own. I'm surprised though that the alums there don't know that as we get a lot of LA girls at Bama. You don't say where in LA you are from but there are several alum Panhellenics there that could have helped. I'm sorry you got such bad advice. It is frustrating when you aren't familiar with a campus. Perhaps she'll be able to go thru as an upperclassman....if she's still interested.
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08-17-2009, 05:52 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magnoliacurious
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YAY.
I noticed that there are a few NE Ohio girls in there (from Hudson, Brecksville, etc!)
__________________
"Remember that apathy has no place in our Sorority." - Kelly Jo Karnes, Pi
Lakers Nation.
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08-17-2009, 05:58 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Atlanta area
Posts: 5,372
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Awesome! I now can check the results of my RIF girls off from the Alabama group and move on to facebook, well, I hate to use the word "stalking" but call it what you will, UGA.
(Yeah, I really do want to know, and I want to know right away.)
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08-17-2009, 06:00 PM
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Heart of Dixie
Posts: 1,008
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Please forgive me if this comes across as snippy, but I get a bit frustrated by the continual claims that it's all Panhellenic's fault for not educating PNMs. Now granted there are a lot campuses that do not do a good job and keep giving out bad info year after year, but IMO UA's Panhellenic has been doing a very good job of trying to inform PNMs about the process or at least getting the info out there. It is up to the PNMs to look for the information and attend the different functions where information is available.
I also get frustrated by PNMs and/or parents who rely on information from an alumna who graduated 10-20 years ago and hasn't been active helping with Recruitment since. Or worse, those who attended other schools who think they know how Bama or for that matter how any other campus Recruitment operates. Times change. NPC Rules have changed. I/natl policies have changed. Campus Panhellenic policies change. Numbers of women participating in Recruitment change (higher or lower) which forces structural changes. Chapter policies change. Competitive standings change. Need I go on?
I assume most HS seniors researched the different colleges before deciding where to apply to and/or attend. I assume they did not rely on word of mouth about how competitve the school admissions process was or whether it provided a quality education. Why don't more PNMs research Recruitment?
Just to prove my point, please check out the UA Greek Life Webpage about sorority recruitment. On the right hand side you will find additional links to webpages and Powerpoint presentations with loads of information including:
- "Sorority Life at the Capstone" presentation featured at Bama Boundthat includes 17 pages of info
- Parent's Presentation featured at Panhellenic Preview Weekend with 29 pages of info
- Information regarding letters of recommendation with a link to a separate webpage that includes info and links to all the I/natl sorority websites and NPC's Alumnae Panhellenic list
- 2009 Sorority Recruitment Guide (aka Rush Book) with tons of info
In addition, the Alabama Panhellenic Association has its own website loaded with info.
Spring Panhellenic Preview Weekend is probably the most informative pre-recruitment time. Not only are there general overview presentations, but also each sorority has a table with representatives to answer questions. Also there are tours of all the Chapter houses with members present to answer questions and meet pre-PNMs there as well. On top of that, Chapters have Meet 'n Greet type functions on the Friday evening beforehand, though they do require an invitation.
As for the continual claims that out-of-state PNMs have little chance of getting a bid at UA, well we don't have stats yet for this year however according to PowerPoint from this past Bama Bound (aka Freshmen orientation) presentation:
Quote:
In 2008 over 50% of the fraternity and sorority new members were from out-of-state.
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/rant
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08-17-2009, 06:02 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,132
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Thanks to the creators of the Alabama Bid List for referring to Alpha Phi as "Alpha Pi."
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Carolina in my mind
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08-17-2009, 06:04 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Where stately oaks and broad magnolias shade inspiring halls
Posts: 2,109
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One of my MIF girls went Gamma Phi Beta!
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08-17-2009, 06:09 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 509
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I think we got her!
Quote:
Originally Posted by UGAalum94
Awesome! I now can check the results of my RIF girls off from the Alabama group and move on to facebook, well, I hate to use the word "stalking" but call it what you will, UGA.
(Yeah, I really do want to know, and I want to know right away.)
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I just read the bid list and I think we got our big legacy!!!
__________________
Alpha Gamma Delta
University of Georgia
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08-17-2009, 06:10 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: somewhere down in Texas
Posts: 22
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I just want to say out of state girls can and do get good rushes and pledged good houses. My daughter from Texas - and her friend from her school both rushed a couple of years ago. She and I worked hard to have both recs and letters for each sorority. I even went online to the national website for a sorority we don't really have in Texas and got someone from this area to write her a rec. Before she started, I encouraged her to keep an open mind and look around. Every round she had the houses she wanted to go back to and pledged what people consider a good house. Her friend did as well.
She did have a friend who did not do as well, but she did not have all the recs and really concentrated on one house. BIG MISTAKE. I know this year there were a lot of Texas girls and I heard that alot had great rushes.
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