Recruitment Heartbreak

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[Titchou]

And so why do you have mistakes if the computer dropped you??? Sweetie, someone may have told you that but it doesn't happen

[FSUZeta]

Don't beat yourself up. You need to love yourself and be your own best friend. If you feel confident and happy, people will pick up on that. If you think you are going to mess up, folks will pick up on that too.

Have you made friends with any sorority members? Have you joined any clubs on campus? Done any volunteer work? How are your grades? Those are all going to matter. If you have gone to class and stayed in your room you may want to put yourself out there this semester, get involved on campus and wait to rush in the fall. You need to have something other than simply a warm body to offer.

[KSUViolet06]

I mean, I think everything I do is a mistake, I always find something wrong with what I do, could be playing a song on guitar or giving a speech - I'm always too hard on myself - it's possible I did nothing wrong and just didn't get invited back because the computer system was screwed up. I mean, I overthink everything and even now i'm absolutely FREAKING out for Spring but at the same time I'm more confident if that makes sense.

I'm going to say this as nicely as possible because this is a common myth that is perpetuated by PNMs. The computer glitch.

The computer software does not just "lose people."

Even if (by some strange occurrence) there is any hint of a screw up or a missing PNM who was supposed to get an invite, chapters back up EVERYTHING and have the info available to correct any errors.

Ex: If Suzie by some stretch of the imagination was supposed to be on your invite list and you see that she's not, you're going to be the first to let her Rho Gamma know that there may have been a computer mix up and get her invite to her. No one is going to say "the computer messed up and there's no Suzie on our list. Oh well."

The chances of you just disappearing from the system are slim.

I'm not sure why the chapters chose not to invite you back but I can almost guarantee that you didn't just disappear from ICS.

Either way, no need to beat yourself up.

Consider what you can do differently next time.

Good luck!

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Have you made friends with any sorority members? Have you joined any clubs on campus? Done any volunteer work? How are your grades? Those are all going to matter. If you have gone to class and stayed in your room you may want to put yourself out there this semester, get involved on campus and wait to rush in the fall. You need to have something other than simply a warm body to offer.

Yeah, as of now I know about six members of one of the sororities and I talk to them daily. I'm an executive officer (read: leadership position) in our school's Paranormal Investigation group and a member of our pagan club, I have a 2.8 GPA and volunteer at my home town's humane society and help with fund raising on campus whenever I can by donating to other events and such when clubs host them. I also went out and bought all new clothes for rush so I can dress better, and I've been working on conversation skills.

And in reply to KSUViolet06, my Gamma Chi did later tell me we had almost 180 girls rushing - there was no way everyone was going to make it past house tours and it's possible I was part of just a very large round of cuts. I figured the computer thing was them just telling me a lie to soothe me, but in reality I'm so hard on myself I had it drilled through me head they must've just not liked me or I didn't stand out enough.

This time around in Spring I'm determined to fix my mistakes.

[KSUViolet06]

Another thing to consider. You say you have a 2.8.

If the majority of PNMs at your school have, say 3.0s and above or are all dean's list level PNMs, a 2.8 is not impressive. I'd work on your grades.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Another thing to consider. You say you have a 2.8.

If the majority of PNMs at your school have, say 3.0s and above or are all dean's list level PNMs, a 2.8 is not impressive. I'd work on your grades.

I'm trying, believe me. That 2.8 was after taking a winter class. (I literally had ONE horrible class this past semester - I'm a second semester freshman that is sophomore standing in credits because of IB (like AP) exams that gave me college credit before actually taking classes) If I don't make it in Spring, I'm trying again next fall. I understand everyone is offering advice and I have no right to get snarky or defensive or whiny about ANYTHING because you nice people are only trying to help, (and I appreciate it) I just feel like maybe I shouldn't have posted anything at all because I feel like now I definitely don't have much of a chance. It's been my dream to be Greek since I was really little, and I'm just terrified that will never happen.

I'm really very sorry if it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm just so scared about upcoming rush since the first time threw me off my feet.

[Titchou]

The way recruitment works is that there is a place for EVERYONE who makes it to pref - unless you are at Indiana - which you aren't. Don't ever listen to that story. The computer program they use allows for that.

A 2.8 is rather low. i'd be more worried about that.

[KSUViolet06]

I'm trying, believe me. That 2.8 was after taking a winter class. (I literally had ONE horrible class this past semester - I'm a second semester freshman that is sophomore standing in credits because of IB (like AP) exams that gave me college credit before actually taking classes) If I don't make it in Spring, I'm trying again next fall. I understand everyone is offering advice and I have no right to get snarky or defensive or whiny about ANYTHING because you nice people are only trying to help, (and I appreciate it) I just feel like maybe I shouldn't have posted anything at all because I feel like now I definitely don't have much of a chance. It's been my dream to be Greek since I was really little, and I'm just terrified that will never happen.

I'm really very sorry if it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm just so scared about upcoming rush since the first time threw me off my feet.

Also, if you are scared, you're probably going to come off super awkward in parties.

Besides, if you don't even like yourself, why should anyone else?

[Griffins&Quills]

Think of recruitment, formal or not, like a job interview. You need to really put your best foot forward. You don't need to go out and buy all new clothes or designer labels, but you need to look presentable and put together. This means outfits that are coordinated and look good together and are seasonably appropriate. You need to have brushed, tamed hair. A little makeup never hurt either. Even if you're someone who doesn't wear makeup, some lip gloss and mascara can really make a difference.

You have to make an impression. After appearance comes conversation skills. You need to be fun and nice and engaged in your conversations. Be confident. You need to act like you want to be there and you're eager to learn more about their sorority (but not to the crazy-stalker level, i.e. don't wear head to toe ABC sorority colors and symbols and recite every fact about their history to them). You also have to consider what is and is not appropriate conversation for recruitment. I don't know how your recruitment is structured but generally, the conversations are pretty light to start off with, how's school going, what dorm are you living in, what classes are you taking, to more serious for preferential, like why can you see yourself fitting in at our house, what would make you a good member, what do you hope to accomplish by joining XYZ, what roles/positions do you see yourself taking on, etc.

And then, as others have said, GRADES are a very important factor. Most NPC groups require a 2.5 minimum nationally but there may be other higher requirements. I can really only speak for my organization's requirements. And just because a 2.5 is required, doesn't mean that's what your campus uses. Your campus panhellenic could require a 3.0. And if there are 100 other outstanding PNMs with volunteer activities out the wazoo that are involved and confident, why should they take a chance with a grade-risk like you? So those are all things you need to consider when the time comes.

Ask yourself what went wrong last time, and how can you improve upon it this time?

[thetalady]

Yeah, as of now I know about six members of one of the sororities (Andy Hurley as I coded it, I believe) and I talk to them daily. I'm an executive officer (read: leadership position) in our school's Paranormal Investigation group and a member of our pagan club, I have a 2.8 GPA and volunteer at my home town's humane society and help with fund raising on campus whenever I can by donating to other events and such when clubs host them. I also went out and bought all new clothes for rush so I can dress better, and I've been working on conversation skills.

And in reply to KSUViolet06, my Gamma Chi did later tell me we had almost 180 girls rushing - there was no way everyone was going to make it past house tours and it's possible I was part of just a very large round of cuts. I figured the computer thing was them just telling me a lie to soothe me, but in reality I'm so hard on myself I had it drilled through me head they must've just not liked me or I didn't stand out enough.

This time around in Spring I'm determined to fix my mistakes.

Do you know how many of the 180 girls who participated in rush ended up in chapters? I am just wondering if quota at your campus is pretty small.