Decided to rush last minute- a couple of questions - Page 3

Titchou · #31 10-01-2012, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady

NOT trying ot stir trouble, just curious.... How do the chapters find out that the PNM is married, other than asking through the grapevine? Is that kind of question on the registration form for rush? It would be tragic for her to get a bid, only to find out later that she is ineligible to be initiated.

From her rec????

ChioLu · #32 10-01-2012, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Boys, booze, bible, and bank account.

Wow -- wished these had been forbidden when I went thru Rush the 1st time.
At 1 chapter, I got asked what my father did and how much money he made ...!
(I replied, "Enough" -- I was horrified someone could even ask.)

DeltaBetaBaby · #33 10-01-2012, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChioLu

Wow -- wished these had been forbidden when I went thru Rush the 1st time.
At 1 chapter, I got asked what my father did and how much money he made ...!
(I replied, "Enough" -- I was horrified someone could even ask.)

I was asked what my parents did, with no direct reference to money, it still made me very uncomfortable, because why else would you ask it?

naraht · #34 10-01-2012, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Boys, booze, bible, and bank account.

Ah. Who are they dating, do they (or how much do they) drink, what religion are they and how much money do they/their parents have? Right?

thetalady · #35 10-01-2012, 05:43 PM

The group that you hope to receive a bid from has no live in requirements, right? I wish you luck!

DeltaBetaBaby · #36 10-01-2012, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naraht

Ah. Who are they dating, do they (or how much do they) drink, what religion are they and how much money do they/their parents have? Right?

Yeah, it's just a sort of mnemonic for issues that a good rusher steers away from.

TheNxtNancyDrew · #37 10-01-2012, 06:09 PM

Don't forget Bush/Barack, aka politics! I think that's the real reason we can't elect Romney... No B!

GeorgiaGreek · #38 10-01-2012, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I was asked what my parents did, with no direct reference to money, it still made me very uncomfortable, because why else would you ask it?

I've never thought of it as a weird question to ask. I know other people think it's tacky/taboo, and I avoid doing it myself, but I don't get offended when people ask what my parents do.

DeltaBetaBaby · #39 10-01-2012, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGreek

I've never thought of it as a weird question to ask. I know other people think it's tacky/taboo, and I avoid doing it myself, but I don't get offended when people ask what my parents do.

I think it is all about context. If there is something that leads into it, sure, but as an opening question, no.

MysticCat · #40 10-01-2012, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheNxtNancyDrew

Don't forget Bush/Barack, aka politics! I think that's the real reason we can't elect Romney... No B!

Just go with "ballots."

33girl · #41 10-01-2012, 09:13 PM

Thanks, because I was going to think of a fun word for Romney

In all seriousness, if this organization does give you a bid...you need to let them know you are married. I hope that in this day and age being married isn't forbidden in any NPC groups, but you never know, and it would be rotten on your part to make them unknowingly violate policy.

And beyond that...they need to know this info, from your mouth, unless you're never going to introduce them to your husband. Don't "assume" that they checked your Facebook and so everything is hunky dory.

DeltaBetaBaby · #42 10-01-2012, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

\ I hope that in this day and age being married isn't forbidden in any NPC groups, but you never know, and it would be rotten on your part to make them unknowingly violate policy.

I am shocked that it is even a possibility! Do we actually know of groups that have this rule?

honeychile · #43 10-01-2012, 10:08 PM

Alpha Delta Pi used to have that rule, but I think it's been removed.

As for the bucks, look at it this way: what if a bid is given to someone who truly cannot afford it? Maybe it's literally thousands of dollars, by the time housing, dues, parlor fees, etc are all counted. There may be some people better prepared to pay for the sorority experience.

And if you only knew how much I hate, hate, hate writing that, but it's a reality. Even on my campus, there was one house that was so much more expensive than the others that they basically only took legacies and the rich girls!

DeltaBetaBaby · #44 10-01-2012, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile

As for the bucks, look at it this way: what if a bid is given to someone who truly cannot afford it? Maybe it's literally thousands of dollars, by the time housing, dues, parlor fees, etc are all counted. There may be some people better prepared to pay for the sorority experience.

I agree, but this is better probed in a different manner (e.g. presenting financial info and asking about any questions/concerns).

ASTalumna06 · #45 10-02-2012, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I agree, but this is better probed in a different manner (e.g. presenting financial info and asking about any questions/concerns).

This!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGreek

I've never thought of it as a weird question to ask. I know other people think it's tacky/taboo, and I avoid doing it myself, but I don't get offended when people ask what my parents do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile

Alpha Delta Pi used to have that rule, but I think it's been removed.

As for the bucks, look at it this way: what if a bid is given to someone who truly cannot afford it? Maybe it's literally thousands of dollars, by the time housing, dues, parlor fees, etc are all counted. There may be some people better prepared to pay for the sorority experience.

And if you only knew how much I hate, hate, hate writing that, but it's a reality. Even on my campus, there was one house that was so much more expensive than the others that they basically only took legacies and the rich girls!

To ask what someone's parents do in order to find out how much money the PNM has is a flawed system. Maybe the PNM's parents have all the money in the world, but they don't intend to hand over thousands to their daughter.. or maybe the parents don't have the best jobs, but the PNM has been saving her money since the tooth fairy first left her a dollar under her pillow.. or maybe you can't really tell from their profession how much they make. Using my dad as an example - if I told you what he did for a living, you'd probably think he didn't make much money at all. But he's been with the same company for 40 years, and they definitely take care of their employees. He does VERY well. But at the same time, it's not as though he hands over any money to me.

And aside from the financial aspects, I think it's weird to bring up parents in any way, shape, or form nowadays. The nuclear family is no longer the norm. The Huxtables and Cleavers are in many ways a thing of the past. What if someone asked you what your father does, but your father ran out on you and your mother after you were born? Or what if you were asked about your mother, but she had passed away a year earlier from cancer? Or what if both of your parents just got divorced? Or what if one of them was just laid off? Or what if you were asked what your father does, but you actually have two mothers?

In addition, some people simply don't have a good a good relationship with their parents. I've had sisters that cringe at the mention of their parents. I knew of one sorority member whose father physically abused her. I had one sister whose parents tried to control everything she did, and they didn't show up to her wedding and objected to the whole thing because they didn't like her husband.. for no flippin' reason. I feel like parents/family is a topic to stay away from unless the PNM brings it up.