Random Wedding Thread

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by AOEforme

This. We will have a three year engagement and I started dieting (the healthy way) about a month post-engagement. I've been dieting for a year and a half now.

Part of it is that, yes, I want to look damn good in that dress. (I have a picture up on my mirror). A bigger reason is the fact that I want to look good for my husband .

The main reason is that, while my weight was OK according to BMI, my eating habits were trash. I want to spend 60 healthy years with my husband-to-be, rather than 20 sick ones.

-----

Also, what physician does this to a bride-to-be and keeps his/her license? Seriously.

It is also a way to do some prevention to live longer, therefore putting even more behind the vows (if one chooses): in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part.

I think it could be an interesting way for couples to connect more before a marriage, and learn more about each other as well as building new traditions. Food is often a key component in ethnic background or gatherings, and trying new foods or learning to prepare foods in a healthier way or that are important to your spouse or partner may avoid some bumps down the road, but also promote bonding. Even if it is just going for a walk after dinner, especially if there is a dog that needs exercise, can be the time to talk about the day and continue with kids or other family members. I was pretty serious with a guy who was very athletic and our sporting interests were on either end of the spectrum, but we decided to take ballroom dance lessons and share that activity, which seems like an activity that ties in well with wedding preparation.

[KSUViolet06]

Observation:

Just as all other aspects of life have etiquette, there is appropriate etiquette for communicating with potential wedding vendors.

If you're getting married, do yourself a favor and read up on how to appropriately communicate with vendors you're interested in BEFORE you start looking around.

For example: If you are interested in Florist ABC, and you email them, your first communication should not include:

1. I love your work but you're out of our budget.
2. Do you have any deals or discounts?

Asking for a deal or discount is rude. So is contacting an obviously out of budget vendor. They give you ballpark numbers (ex:"Wedding coverage by Patty Photographer starts at $2,900") for a reason.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Asking for a deal or discount is rude.

Can you elaborate? Do you mean it's rude to flat out ask for a discount without expecting a compromise? Because I agree that would be a bit unrealistic.

I understand that vendors have to protect their prices because if word gets out that they gave so and so a special price because they asked for it, they don't really have a leg to stand on when others ask for that price. Straight up asking for a discount probably won't get you far.

However, it's totally acceptable to negotiate with vendors (which I guess is a bit different than flat out asking for a discount). For example, once my florist went over everything I wanted to do, I found that it was out of my budget. I asked what we could do that bring the price down. It meant that I had to be willing to modify the centerpieces, but she was able to come up with a really good solution that fit into my budget but will still look beautiful. A good vendor is willing to work with you to get your business and make sure you're satisfied.

[joliebelle]

Originally Posted by lovespink88

Can you elaborate? Do you mean it's rude to flat out ask for a discount without expecting a compromise? Because that would be a bit unrealistic.

I took it to mean that if you know this vendor is way over your budget, don't contact/ meet with them and expect them to lower their prices to fit within your budget.
The photographer I fell in lurve with is way over our price point, so I won't be bothering to contact her because I know I'd never be able to afford that much on pictures. Nor would I expect her to lower her price point to fit into our budget

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lovespink88

Can you elaborate? Do you mean it's rude to flat out ask for a discount without expecting a compromise? Because I agree that would be a bit unrealistic.

I understand that vendors have to protect their prices because if word gets out that they gave so and so a special price because they asked for it, they don't really have a leg to stand on when others ask for that price. Straight up asking for a discount probably won't get you far.

However, it's totally acceptable to negotiate with vendors (which I guess is a bit different than flat out asking for a discount). For example, once my florist went over everything I wanted to do, I found that it was out of my budget. I asked what we could do that bring the price down. It meant that I had to be willing to modify the centerpieces, but she was able to come up with a really good solution that fit into my budget but will still look beautiful. A good vendor is willing to work with you to get your business and make sure you're satisfied.

Originally Posted by joliebelle

I took it to mean that if you know this vendor is way over your budget, don't contact/ meet with them and expect them to lower their prices to fit within your budget.

What joliebelle said is what I'm referring to. It's rude to waste a vendor's time when they're out of your budget and even more rude to suggest that they "haggle" with you in order to get your business.

However, I do think that what you're describing with your florist CAN cross into rudeness territory if one is not careful. Example: if you had still insisted on Expensive Floral Arrangement with your Moderate Arrangement budget, THAT would be rude (as you're suggesting that she do Expensive Arrangement labor/time for Moderate money.) Or if you had asked for a deal on Expensive Arrangement instead of changing your flowers to something more affordable.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

However, I do think that what you're describing with your florist CAN cross into rudeness territory if one is not careful. Example: if you had still insisted on Expensive Floral Arrangement with your Moderate Arrangement budget, THAT would be rude (as you're suggesting that she do Expensive Arrangement labor/time for Moderate money.) Or if you had asked for a deal on Expensive Arrangement instead of changing your flowers to something more affordable.

I get what you're saying. I wouldn't call it rude, I would say that person is extremely unrealistic/stupid.

I guess I get defensive because I've been on the other end of that (being treated rudely by a vendor). I'll avoid the long story, but in short, the store I bought my dress from lost my crystal belt, showed absolutely no empathy for the situation, acted like I was at fault somehow, and failed to follow up on my complaint until left a comment on their Facebook page, for all the world to see. I'm sorry, but if I just spent thousands of dollars at your store and you eff up, I deserve a little empathy and respect.

Clearly it left a bad taste in my mouth, lol

[KSUViolet06]

Loving chic courthouse elopements/elopement photography right now:

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by AOEforme

This. We will have a three year engagement and I started dieting (the healthy way) about a month post-engagement. I've been dieting for a year and a half now.

Part of it is that, yes, I want to look damn good in that dress. (I have a picture up on my mirror). A bigger reason is the fact that I want to look good for my husband .

The main reason is that, while my weight was OK according to BMI, my eating habits were trash. I want to spend 60 healthy years with my husband-to-be, rather than 20 sick ones.

-----

Also, what physician does this to a bride-to-be and keeps his/her license? Seriously.

I think you are misusing the word "dieting". I think you've created a more healthy lifestyle for yourself, which is different than "dieting" and which is also the only way to permanently lose weight or gain health benefits.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Observation:

Just as all other aspects of life have etiquette, there is appropriate etiquette for communicating with potential wedding vendors.

If you're getting married, do yourself a favor and read up on how to appropriately communicate with vendors you're interested in BEFORE you start looking around.

For example: If you are interested in Florist ABC, and you email them, your first communication should not include:

1. I love your work but you're out of our budget.
2. Do you have any deals or discounts?

Asking for a deal or discount is rude. So is contacting an obviously out of budget vendor. They give you ballpark numbers (ex:"Wedding coverage by Patty Photographer starts at $2,900") for a reason.

I do understand what you're saying, but I don't think asking whether they have deals or discounts is really what you mean. Lots of tuxedo places have deals where the groom's tux is free if the wedding party is over a certain number. It was common when I was getting married for florists to "toss in" the throw away bouquet for free (pun intended...lol). Photographers packages often include extra things if you get a more expensive package. I consider those things to be "deals". Overall though, your point isn't only true for wedding vendors. It is true for everything. When I was getting quotes for my bathroom remodel, I chose to go with a contractor who let me do all the shopping for the fixtures, vanity, tub, etc. but just gave me a quote for the labor. That way I could make it work with my budget by going low end for one thing so I could go high end for something else.

[KSUViolet06]

No, I get that sometimes vendors throw in little freebies. I'm talking about communicating with vendors with no advertised discounts, telling them that they're out of your budget, and asking for them to come down on their prices.

Ex: If someone's package price for photography starts at $4,000, it's rude for you to email them like "Hey, I love your work, but you're a little out of our budget, do you have any discounts?" or "hey guys, would you be willing to shoot my wedding for $3,300?" Or even worse, booking a consult with them and asking them in person.

[lovespink88]

Two months!!!

*channeling Ant...*

[DreamfulSpirit]

Lovespink, have you sent out your invitations yet? I'm just curious because I am invited (as I got the Save the Date) to a wedding on June 30th as well but have yet to receive an invitation. I also know for a fact they haven't mailed any out yet.

When I got married last year (my wedding was June 11th), I had my invites out in Mid-March. I may have gotten them out slightly earlier than most because I had 80-85% out of town guests, but I thought I had timed it about right.

[KSUViolet06]

I came across this engagement shoot while researching something else for a client:

http://www.stylemepretty.com/austral...-photographer/

Yes, really.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I came across this engagement shoot while researching something else for a client:

http://www.stylemepretty.com/austral...-photographer/

Yes, really.

That really squicks me out. If she wanted him to be a Superhero, vampire/werewolf, or alien I don't think I would have been quite as disturbed.

[joliebelle]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I came across this engagement shoot while researching something else for a client:

http://www.stylemepretty.com/austral...-photographer/

Yes, really.

Hmm. Reminds me of the wedding that was Twilight themed (He even changed his last name to Cullen) and the resulting bridal pics.

[KSUViolet06]

I found it creeptastic. Just wanted to know if it was just me. lol.