Does this mean I won't get a bid?

[pagie14]

(( I cut out this whole first paragraph for the whole identifying information thing, so sorry if the rest doesn't make sense, thanks all for answers! ))

Then, I come on here and see all these people saying "Oh, all of the homecoming queen cheerleaders with 5.0 GPAs are going to get rejected because all of the girls rushing are like this!"
Um... What? Well that could be an issue.

I understand the kind of girl sorority life attracts, but does that mean that any girl who wasn't number one in her class, head cheerleader and prom queen extraordinaire won't get a bid? I may not be these things, and I wasn't the most popular girl in my high school, but I was never unpopular or teased for anything. I'm friendly and I'm not shy, definitely not when it comes to first meeting someone. I believe I'm pretty. But I wasn't prom queen, and I didn't really aspire to be- I want to be a part of a sorority because of all the other stuff, not because I want to be in some kind of royal standing with the rest of the school.

I plan to go to a large SEC school. My cousin, who rushed at another school where Greek Life is important, said she was confident I'd get a bid. But this has me worried! I just want to be a part of this- Will my lack of stereotypical traits that apparently 'every other girl' has be my downfall? Please help

((Oh, a big thing is that I didn't hold a lot of leadership positions in my main extracurriculars, but a lot of the reason for that is because I've had jobs both this year and last year, which are the two main years of holding office in most clubs and such! Will this be a huge issue?))

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by pagie14

So before coming on this website, I wasn't TOO concerned about not getting a bid. I mean, I have an okay GPA (Approx 4.3, weighted on a 4.0 scale). I'm not socially inept, and I'm generally pretty good at first impressions. I'm confident with how I look(most of the time... We all have those days!). I've been involved with theater for much of my life and I've been playing volleyball throughout all of high school. I've earned a few national awards for merit. I'll have almost 200 community service hours by the time I graduate, although I don't think this is as good as it should be. I went to a school with only like, 800 people in the entire high school. Still, I thought I was okay...

Then, I come on here and see all these people saying "Oh, all of the homecoming queen cheerleaders with 5.0 GPAs are going to get rejected because all of the girls rushing are like this!"
Um... What? Well that could be an issue.

I understand the kind of girl sorority life attracts, but does that mean that any girl who wasn't number one in her class, head cheerleader and prom queen extraordinaire won't get a bid? I may not be these things, and I wasn't the most popular girl in my high school, but I was never unpopular or teased for anything. I'm friendly and I'm not shy, definitely not when it comes to first meeting someone. I believe I'm pretty. But I wasn't prom queen, and I didn't really aspire to be- I want to be a part of a sorority because of all the other stuff, not because I want to be in some kind of royal standing with the rest of the school.

I plan to go to a large SEC school. My cousin, who rushed at another school where Greek Life is important, said she was confident I'd get a bid. But this has me worried! I just want to be a part of this- Will my lack of stereotypical traits that apparently 'every other girl' has be my downfall? Please help

((Oh, a big thing is that I didn't hold a lot of leadership positions in my main extracurriculars, but a lot of the reason for that is because I've had jobs both this year and last year, which are the two main years of holding office in most clubs and such! Will this be a huge issue?))

We can't tell anyone for SURE whether they will get a bid.

However, every single girl in a large SEC Greek system isn't a Homecoming Queen.

Also, quota is set by the number of women in recruitment, so there is no such thing as "too many girls rushing." That's a myth.

I will say though, that not every girl is going to get a bid to her number 1 choice, though. Some get their second or third. So it helps if you are open-minded. The most disappointed women are typically the ones going in ONLY WANTING two or three specific chapters. Then when they are cut from them, they are upset.

All of that to say, good luck!

[jolene]

Also, some of these 'prom queen' types have never dealt with rejection so if they get cut by their top two houses after first round they drop out. Get as many recs as you can and keep an open mind. I'd be willing to bet if you are open to all of the houses with your qualifications, you'll get a bid. You've got an excellent GPA, extracurriculars and if you are reasonably attractive and friendly, you should be fine. Yeah, I'm sure there are certain houses at certain schools where you need to have a good buddy in the org to be given a bid, but keep an open mind. Chapters at these schools are HUGE and you'll be able to find your niche.

My niece who went through recruitment at Alabama (HUGE recruitment) wasn't a legacy at any of the houses on campus (our chapter there is inactive) and she had a successful rush and joined Kappa Alpha Theta. I actually think she signed up at the last minute.

[ComradesTrue]

Yes, building upon what KSUViolet says...

It is true that at SEC and Texas type recruitments you will be surrounded by girls who were Homecoming Queens, GPAs through the roof, and accomplishments like crazy. However, not everyone will have those qualities.

The issue arises when those high academic, high involvement, been-told-their-whole-lives-how-beautiful-they-are PNMs get to college they often have never faced disappointment or rejection. Many of them expect to have their pick of 18 different sororities. When inevitable cuts happen to these PNMs some do not handle it well.

For them, it's not that they didn't get a bid. It was that they may not have gotten a bid to the one or two houses that they deemed worthy of themselves.

PNMs such as yourself usually fare just fine. Go in with realistic expectations and be open to any chapters that invite you back. Please realize we can only speak in generalities though.. we have no way to know for any specific PNM.

Good luck!

[Katmandu]

Yep, what they said.

The Average potential new member is active, attractive, has good grades and is socially adept. She will often excel in at least one area: sports, theater, cheer, queenliness, community service, student council, etc. and many excel in several.

The problem comes when this average potential new member doesn't realize that she is now average, not the queen bee of Rydell High, and isn't open to the vagaries of recruitment at a big school. Big school recruitment means that each chapter can pledge only a fraction of the 1500+ potential new members.

If you stick it till the end, see the good in all of the chapters, don't listen to tent talk, which is typically based on 20+ year old stereotypes, and decide to dance with the ones who invite you, you will most likely be fine!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Katmandu

which is typically based on 20+ year old stereotypes

These stereotypes are old enough to buy beer!

[jolene]

Additionally, if you get invited to houses you originally weren't keen on, think about it this way: They loved YOU. They saw something in *you* that made them think you'd be an asset to their chapter. Tent talk is unreliable and as Katmandu said, usually based on reps from YEARS ago. Go with your gut and where you make a connection.

[pagie14]

Thank you all so much Yes, I'm definitely not narrowing it down to very few- The only thing that I plan to cut from my prospects are those which I find lack in the whole sisterhood thing, as that's kind of my main goal. I plan to stay in it until the end, for better or for worse, and see where that takes me.

[33girl]

Even if a group seems lacking in sisterhood during rush, it may just be nervousness. I wouldn't assume this chapter doesn't have close or loving relationships. Now if sisters keep looking at each other like they're strangers or have no clue of each others' names that might be another story

[KerriMarie]

Originally Posted by pagie14

Thank you all so much Yes, I'm definitely not narrowing it down to very few- The only thing that I plan to cut from my prospects are those which I find lack in the whole sisterhood thing, as that's kind of my main goal. I plan to stay in it until the end, for better or for worse, and see where that takes me.

That attitude will take you far! Good luck with rush - or should I say break a leg!?

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Even if a group seems lacking in sisterhood during rush, it may just be nervousness. I wouldn't assume this chapter doesn't have close or loving relationships. Now if sisters keep looking at each other like they're strangers or have no clue of each others' names that might be another story

Well.........if a chapter has 400 girls in it, they really may be strangers.

[33girl]

I would hope they could at least know each other by sight. But in a chapter that large, I think determining whether or not they "lack.sisterhood" is impossible in any way.

[GratefulGramma]

Beloved Granddaughter was home schooled, all the way through. She never went to Summer camp, they didn't have cheerleaders. She was in a few organizations, did some reasonable volunteer stuff. She goes to a fairly large SEC school (a SENIOR!!!), had only a few rec letters, and found her perfect fit. It can be done.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Well.........if a chapter has 400 girls in it, they really may be strangers.

Not necessarily.

[DubaiSis]

The takeaway should be seriously, if you want to be in a sorority, accept the invitations you get and stick with it. For most girls rush is neither magical nor a dream. You're making friends and that is not instant. Also how often have you met a lifelong friend and knew it in 10 minutes? Roll with the process and trust that the friends and the connection will come. With time.