Thoughts from Someone Who Went Through Formal Recruitment

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by Anonymity

I wasn't looking for a top chapter. I was looking for a right fit and if that's where I end up next year I'll accept it.

The only reason I wanted certain chapters was because they seemed to be the prime example of what a sorority should be. It's silly but I thought they wanted me too. They had such strong bonds of sisterhood. They weren't just best friends they were like sisters. They called each other out on their BS and would get into silly arguments. I just didn't get that from the two sororities that invited me to Pref. Night. Even my rho chi told me she was surprised I wasn't invited to her chapter's pref. night (this was all said after I withdrew). I wasn't looking for a top chapter. I was looking for a right fit and if the more "awkward" chapters is where I end up next year I can decide what to do then.

Look, I've got to be honest here: if you want to find ANY sisterhood, you'd better start looking THIS year. What I get from your post is that no, you didn't want a "top" chapter in the dictionary sense of the term, but you didn't want some specific chapters for whatever reason. So I really think that you need to decide (sooner rather than later) whether or not you have any intention of being Greek in college. If the answer is yes, you simply must be Greek, I wouldn't wait a year. You have a much better chance now than you would next year (and also, you really can't get your GPA up much between your junior and senior years. Too many grades already).

I understand your desire to want to see all the chapters again, I really do, but you're just too far along in college for that to be a truly reasonable plan.

[DubaiSis]

^^^The kid knows what she's saying.

And PS-I hope your sisterhood is everything you were hoping it would be, Melinda!

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

^^^The kid knows what she's saying.

And PS-I hope your sisterhood is everything you were hoping it would be, Melinda!

OMG, yes! I am still on cloud nine from big/little revelations the other night!

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by Anonymity

They had such strong bonds of sisterhood. They weren't just best friends they were like sisters. They called each other out on their BS and would get into silly arguments.

??????? You got all that from several chapters in a couple rounds before preference?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

??????? You got all that from several chapters in a couple rounds before preference?

Um, yeah exactly...speaking of calling BS

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

^^^The kid knows what she's saying.

And PS-I hope your sisterhood is everything you were hoping it would be, Melinda!

cosign!

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

??????? You got all that from several chapters in a couple rounds before preference?

This is the fallacy of rush. Girls who are better at it make it look like their sisterhood, their friendships, hell, their mere existence is somehow BETTER than those of other girls. But as I've said here ad nauseum, it's the system we're stuck with and girls who can't see the big picture are going to continue to suffer from the illusion (allusion? delusion?). I would contend that there is ZERO correlation between the quality of a chapter's ability to rush and their sisterhood, friendships or long term benefits. So what do you do? Suck it up and trust the process is the best I can come up with.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by Anonymity

I wasn't looking for a top chapter. I was looking for a right fit and if that's where I end up next year I'll accept it.

I wasn't looking for a top chapter. I was looking for a right fit and if the more "awkward" chapters is where I end up next year I can decide what to do then.

Translation: If I have to settle next year to be Greek, I will, but now, I still think I have a chance with my fave chapters.

OP, your chances with your fave chapters are gone. Forever. You'll be lucky to get a bid from either of the two you "didn't connect with" next year. If you're willing to accept a bid from one of those chapters NEXT year like you say, why wouldn't you pursue your chances with them THIS year?

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

This is the fallacy of rush. Girls who are better at it make it look like their sisterhood, their friendships, hell, their mere existence is somehow BETTER than those of other girls. But as I've said here ad nauseum, it's the system we're stuck with and girls who can't see the big picture are going to continue to suffer from the illusion (allusion? delusion?). I would contend that there is ZERO correlation between the quality of a chapter's ability to rush and their sisterhood, friendships or long term benefits. So what do you do? Suck it up and trust the process is the best I can come up with.

I 100% agree. There is no correlation. Really, truly, not everyone is a perfect rusher. Not everyone is a perfect public speaker, nor is everyone perfect at arts and crafts, nor does every rushee seem like the perfect person. If you're basing your decision to enter Greek life on some illusion (yeah, I'll stick with illusion) of a "perfect" sisterhood which comes off as perfect during a rush party, then no, you'll never find what you want. If you're willing to dig deeper and go to an informal party (which, honestly, is a lot less pressure cooker-y), then you may be surprised what kind of sisterhood you'll find.

All I can say is that, in the brief moment when I chose to be brave and put myself out there-after a difficult week of formal recruitment-for three weeks of informal recruitment, I made one of my best decisions ever.

[Anonymity]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Translation: If I have to settle next year to be Greek, I will, but now, I still think I have a chance with my fave chapters.

OP, your chances with your fave chapters are gone. Forever. You'll be lucky to get a bid from either of the two you "didn't connect with" next year. If you're willing to accept a bid from one of those chapters NEXT year like you say, why wouldn't you pursue your chances with them THIS year?

I'm sorry but I don't really appreciate the way you're giving out your advice. I do thank you for taking the time to explain everything because I'm very new to the Greek community. I'm really thankful that everyone that's posted in this thread has taken the time to tell me to go through informal recruitment so that I will have a chance to see what the Greek sisterhood is like. When informal recruitment comes around I will definitely go and check it out. I know the events for informal recruitment are more intimate and I hope to get a better idea of what the chapter is like.