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  #1  
Old 08-11-2016, 09:24 AM
willala willala is offline
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I got cut from a bunch of houses and I don't know why

I'm rushing at UGA so recruitment can be competitive but not overly so. I don't have any connections to greek life and I'm not from the area so I recognize I am at a disadvantage. However I got recs for the majority of the houses from alumnae. I have a very high GPA, I was involved in NHS and 4H in highschool, I have been riding and competing in horseback riding since I was a young girl, and I worked for several months at an animal hospital (I'm pre vet). I felt as though I had a strong resume going into recruitment. I don't mean to sound conceited or narcissistic but I do know that looks are taken into account and I feel that I am a very pretty girl. Although I don't have the stereotiypical sorority girl look, I have a nice body and a pretty face and I know how to apply makeup. When I was talking to the girls, there were some houses where conversation was a little awkward but most of them I thought I really connected with. Going into round two, I was confident that I would get bids from more houses, but the majority of the houses, especially the "top tier" houses dropped me and I just can't figure out why. It seems like all the girls I talked to wen tot double the houses I went to. Even girls that I felt had much less to offer than me. Again I don't mean to sound conceited but there were several girls that got invited back to very difficult houses that were less attractive and less involved in highschool. I feel like it was something big for so many houses to drop me but I just can't figure out what I did wrong.

Sorry for such a long post, but thanks in advance for any advice you can offer!
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  #2  
Old 08-11-2016, 09:40 AM
AOIILisa AOIILisa is offline
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I'm going to stay in my lane because I have no experience with large competitive recruitments, but here's a thread from people that do that may help you out. Any house at UGA is good, so hang in there!

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=135221
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  #3  
Old 08-11-2016, 09:48 AM
jolene jolene is offline
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I never went to UGA, but had friends who rushed and dropped out of recruitment (this was before RFM). They were blonde, very pretty, good GPAs, activities, etc. but didn't get invited back to where they wanted so they dropped. One met a GPhiB in class and through her joined via informal rush. One never joined a sorority, but her little sister transferred to Ga State due to homesickness and joined mine. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that you're not alone. UGA rush is brutal. Those other girls may have known sisters in those houses so they had someone inside pulling for them or maybe they were legacies? Hang in there and you'll find a Greek home. This happens to a lot more girls than you'd think. Peruse the recruitment stories.
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  #4  
Old 08-11-2016, 09:52 AM
NoDak NoDak is offline
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I went into the Recruitment experience with virtually no knowledge of what it entailed. I had the resume and the leadership experiences. I was a first-generation Greek. I had no family members or friends who were Greek who could provide advice.

In addition, I was one of those silent but observant types. I didn't know that while the active members of each chapter were telling me about their sisterhood and activities, that I should in turn be doing the same. I did not even attempt to convince them that I would be an ideal member, I did not know that it mattered. I did not realize that by keeping my head down and creating the best darn crafted project for their Philanthropy round did little to let them know who I was, what I had hoped for, what I could contribute. When it was all said and done I was full of regret and rejection.

While this may not have been what happened for you during recruitment, it was, in hindsight what hampered me from having what some would consider as a 'successful' recruitment. I am writing this mostly because I know there are other women who are in your same situation. Despite the fact that I may not have had the recruitment that I would have hoped for, the organization that I initiated in was one that I approached with full intensity and I am still very active with them as an alumnae and national volunteer 15+ years after I walked through the first recruitment door. I made the best of it and now I could not begin to imagine my life anywhere else.

You will likely never know why you were released when you were, but what you can do is look forward on how you can be the best member of the chapter who saw something valuable in you. Find the chapter where you feel at ease and comfortable and ignore the stereotypical signs of superiority. How you can be the best sister with all of your pledge sisters and all of the other members that you will become friends with? Tiers are an extension of a high school hierarchy and once you graduate and move on to other parts of the country you realize that the national organization as a whole is what matters more because you have sisters virtually everywhere. Four years is a short time frame within a lifetime of involvement.
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  #5  
Old 08-11-2016, 09:55 AM
sdtennisgal sdtennisgal is offline
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Willala: I am not a regular poster here on GreekChat, but I just happened to see your post this morning, and I just wanted to try to give you a hug via the internet. Here are some thoughts (in no particular order):

1. Concentrate on the houses that have invited you back. They see things in you that make them interested in having you as a sister.
2. What is done is done, so don't look back. If you continue on with Greek life, you will see "...on the other side" that the recruitment process requires the houses to release a certain number of girls each round. Nobody on here can tell you why you were released, so just move forward. The worst thing you can do is compare yourself with other girls going through right now. You have no idea what their circumstances might be.
3. Rejection sucks. Any sort of rejection. But recruitment can be brutal. You mention you have a stellar GPA and lots of activities. But you attend UGA. Absent some really unusual circumstances every student entering UGA (...and UT, and UCLA, and UW, etc.) is going to have a really high GPA and outstanding activities.
4. Concentrate on point number 1 above. It is hard to see other girls with full schedules, but who knows what will happen to them tomorrow? Put the negativity out of your mind. If you visit the houses you have left still fixated on the sting of getting cut at other houses, there is a chance the "real you" might get masked by that negativity. I am not familiar with the UGA Greek system, but I can pretty much guarantee that all of the houses are stellar.
5. Finally: See point number 1 above.

Hang in there. There was something about your post that makes me think you are a really sweet girl (which is why I responded, instead of being a responsible mom and start my son's breakfast immediately). My guess is you have a lot to offer the groups that invited you back, and they have a lot to offer you. Again, see point number 1 above.

Good luck with the rest of recruitment!
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  #6  
Old 08-11-2016, 10:37 AM
BraveMaroon BraveMaroon is offline
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I rushed at UGA back when it was still rush, and I got cut *hard* after first round, and again after second round, and again.... you get the idea. I made it through prefs, got a bid and lived happily ever after.

Granted, this was a long time ago.

You will never know why you got cut, and honestly, who cares? It's probably nothing you did, so don't obsess over it.

Hang in there, enjoy the houses you have left. You only get one bid, so stay in the game and focus on what's on your party list.
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  #7  
Old 08-11-2016, 11:07 AM
KDCat KDCat is offline
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Hang in there.

There's nothing wrong with you. Don't worry about why you were cut. It doesn't matter why they cut you. It really doesn't. Groups have to cut down their lists, and some groups have to make severe cuts. That has nothing to do with you. They may have really liked you, thought you would make a fine sister, but couldn't invite you back because of a whole bunch of reasons. (You are a legacy. You aren't a legacy. You are not in a sport and we need more athletes this year. You are in a sport and we have too many athletes. Whatever.)

By the end of recruitment, everybody is cut from all of the houses, except for the ones that they pref at. (1-3 at UGA?) And then they are cut again, down to one. Panhel only allows one bid per person. Everybody is going to get cut the same as you, sooner or later in this process.

Focus on the groups that you have left on your list. Give them a chance. Don't even think about who cut you. Think about the great opportunities you have with these other groups.

And don't even worry about what people say about "top houses" or "top tier." It's ridiculous high school stuff based on stereotypes. You're not in high school anymore, so don't let other people's high school behavior affect how you think and feel. Every house has terrific women in it, and every house has people who will be your lifelong friends.
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  #8  
Old 08-11-2016, 02:13 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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UGA Rush is extremely competitive; I'm not sure where you got the impression that it wasn't.

It sounds like you still have invitations left. I encourage you to finish the week and treat the houses you have left as if they are the only ones on campus. If you're open minded, I'm positive you'll find a home! Now that you know it's a competitive rush, you can hopefully appreciate that the chapters that have invited you back see something amazing in you for their sisterhood. All houses at UGA have to release girls, no matter what you may have read on any gossip sites. Also, look around at the other PNM's in line with you at these houses. They are the ones who will become your pledge class and future best friends and roomates.

I remember searching for answers as to why I got cut back when I rushed. What I can tell you from the "other side" is that unless girls are specifically cut for grades, reputation, etc, most of the time the houses would have liked to keep inviting you back if they could have invited more girls. There isn't anything "wrong" with you, per se.
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  #9  
Old 08-11-2016, 02:35 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Likely since you weren't prepared you weren't ready for how crazy the first round of rush is and it hurt in your conversation, having "worked" on having a casual smile even while you're freaking out, etc. Having pleasant and yet memorable conversation with these girls who you don't know under a din of chaos is all but impossible. And yet some girls seem to be able to do it, all while maintaining perfect posture and not a drop of sweat.

Keep your head up. Every chapter there is good. You don't need to have had a full schedule to find your sorority home. You don't need to have even had a mostly full schedule. It only takes one. Trust that you'll be fine, even if it seems like you're taking the leftovers. You're not. Every chapter has to make huge HUGE cuts after each round. I know this is a ridiculous request, but try not to take it personally. Just because they couldn't invite you back doesn't mean they wouldn't have liked to.

Let us know! We all want you to succeed. And believe it or not, the sorority women there also want you to succeed.
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  #10  
Old 08-11-2016, 08:15 PM
thetalady thetalady is offline
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First, UGA not "overly competitive"? Where on earth did you get that idea? Every major SEC university sorority rush is incredibly competitive.

All of the advice you have been given is spot on. So.... head up, smile on your face and focus on the houses that you still have invitations to. They are the ONLY ones that matter now.

Think about some good questions that YOU can ask the actives. Engage them in the conversation. Actives are often as nervous as you are. Making it easier for them to get to know you will help. Let us know how it goes and good luck!
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  #11  
Old 08-11-2016, 09:44 PM
SimplyMe SimplyMe is offline
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All SEC schools are competitive and unfortunately you go to one with many chapters. When I went through recruitment at my SEC school I had no idea what I was getting into. I'm a 1st generation with a good resume and I didn't do an extensive amount of research about greek life before recruitment. I knew they were supposed to value leadership and grades but I didn't realize they cared less about my resume and more about just chatting with me. I thought my 1st round went great. I came back to find only 2 houses on my list.
What you have to do is think about why you're going through recruitment. If it's truly to find it a sisterhood then it doesn't matter how many houses you have left. Put your all in the ones you do have left. I did that and had those two until the end. I knew I'd be happy in either which is why when I didn't receive the one I preffed, it was okay. I'm happy with the greek experience I've had.
Give the houses on your list a chance. Go to each party and be the best version of yourself. Focus on the connections you're making. List your preferences by where you feel you'd be more at home. Even if you don't have that feeling left keep going. Odds are you won't find your home though COB so you may as well accept a bid once you make it to pref and really throw yourself in and try. You'll regret quitting now and wondering what could have been instead of trying and knowing for sure.
Everything will be okay. Rejection hurts. But the chapters that are still on your list see something in you. They picked you. So the least you can do is try to figure out what they saw.
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  #12  
Old 08-12-2016, 01:41 AM
willala willala is offline
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Thanks everyone for all the advice! It's really helped me feel better! Right now I still have one house left that I absolutely love. The others on my schedule, not so much. I'm just concerned that this house will drop me as well. I thought things went well at round two but I'm worried that I could be reading the situation wrong as I did with round one.
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  #13  
Old 08-12-2016, 05:52 AM
tcsparky tcsparky is offline
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Willala, the advice you have been given is terrific. As one poster above said: There are NO "bad" chapters at UGA. The chapters are very large, so even if you are not in love with the other chapters on your list, and your top pick drops you, KEEP GOING- there will be women in those chapters you can connect with. You just might not meet them during Recruitment. Every chapter at UGA will offer an amazing experience, Homecoming activities, mixers with Fraternities, philanthropy events, Sisterhood activities, etc...... You will meet women in any chapter with whom you can become friends, and you will make friends with Greek women in other chapters.

My advice is this: Stick it out til the end, accept your bid if offered one, and give it your best. Formal Recruitment your Freshman year gives you the best chance to get a bid.

Let us know how it goes!!!
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Old 08-12-2016, 08:23 AM
DGTess DGTess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willala View Post
Thanks everyone for all the advice! It's really helped me feel better! Right now I still have one house left that I absolutely love. The others on my schedule, not so much. I'm just concerned that this house will drop me as well. I thought things went well at round two but I'm worried that I could be reading the situation wrong as I did with round one.
Keep an open mind for all of them, not just the one you absolutely love today. It is astonishing how different chapters can touch you later in the week. Give every one the same chance to impress you that you want them to give you to impress them.
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  #15  
Old 08-12-2016, 12:13 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Do NOT put yourself in an all or nothing position. They are ALL good. If you get cut by your favorite please do yourself a favor and stay in. You are judging them on superficial things. The chapters are huge and there is absolutely positively 100% for sure girls in every single chapter who could be among your best friends for the rest of your life. You just haven't met them yet. They see something in you; do them the same courtesy.
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