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Old 08-26-2022, 10:57 PM
lake lake is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 417
Years ago I worked at a group home with at-risk adolescents, and there were some dress code guidelines (pretty loose ones). When residents (usually girls) would question certain rules I would just encourage them to be mindful that other people notice them too and have reactions beyond who they think they're dressing for.

For example, a girl wants to look "cute" in class for a boy she has a crush on, or she wants to impress guys her age that she meets out, etc. However, along the way, she's probably turning on somebody's grandfather too, or a friend's father, or even (God forbid) a family member.

Their responses to me were usually something along the lines of, "Ewwww, lake! That's gross!" My answer was, "That's life!" and to just assume that's what's probably going on. It's not their "fault" and they're not responsible if someone acts inappropriately towards them beyond just a private reaction. But someone is probably going to have some sort of reaction that they might not think about or want to think about. If they're okay with that, fine. Dress how you want (when you're an adult).

I'm sure the women in the OP's example want to attract the attention of fraternity men and other guys (around their age). I bet they feel "empowered". But the peripheral comments and attention ARE very creepy! And it's not a good look for the sororities. These women aren't just representing themselves. But I understand how some in that age group wouldn't see it that way. I don't envy the advisors or other person(s) who have to try to explain it to those women.
Delta Delta Delta

Last edited by lake; 08-26-2022 at 10:59 PM. Reason: typo
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