Alumnae Initiation and NPC Rules?

[sunysister1234]

My original question seems to have been dumb so I deleted it so I don’t accidentally upset anyone else. Im sorry.

[Titchou]

No. Just no. That's your answer. If by some hook or crook you got initiated into the other group, once it was found out both would terminate your membership. Perhaps if you can't locate an alum group to participate in you should look at non NPC groups such as Beta Sigma Phi, PEO or other local orgs.

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by sunysister1234

Hello - Im going to be kind of vague on here and I fear my question may upset some people but I figured it never hurts to ask as I am simply curious. I attend a small state school with only 2 NPC orgs on campus, the semester I rushed (as a sophomore transfer) it was Fall 20 and Covid was a thing. Only one chapter was recruiting and I received a bid and have since been and initiated member of my chapter. Our NPC relations are to put it frank - awful, no one talks to eachother in each org and it’s basically just a bunch of drama over who slept with who’s boyfriend and petty things I don’t totally understand because I stay out of it. Here is where my dilemma comes into play - I went through new member ed virtually and just recently had my first in person semester (spring 22) with my chapter being “real again”. I have learned new things about my sorority as a national organization and as a chapter that im not so sure I agree with or represents myself and my values. I only have 1 semester left before I graduate early to student teach so I don’t particularly want to disaffiliate but I want to be involved in something bigger than myself after I graduate. I went through recruitment because I idolized sorority women growing up and all I ever wanted was to be a strong sorority woman who participated in philanthropy, made a different, had friends and had fun. I want this experience beyond college and I know I can’t get it in my current organization - We have weak alumnae groups and our national office does nothing to support us besides asks for donations. I don’t know where to begin but I want out - With this I was wondering, is there anyway another NPC organization would go through the Alumnae Initiation process with me despite NPC “law” saying I cannot? Im sorry if this is a dumb question I just don’t know what else to do or where to turn or who to talk to.

Originally Posted by Titchou

No. Just no. That's your answer. If by some hook or crook you got initiated into the other group, once it was found out both would terminate your membership. Perhaps if you can't locate an alum group to participate in you should look at non NPC groups such as Beta Sigma Phi, PEO or other local orgs.

True, that.

[carnation]

Sunysister, I see that you are reading the AI forum in spite of what you were told.

[sunysister1234]

Ok I see my post upset some people - I was just curious and am now reading the forum simply because I’m curious as I didn’t know AI was a thing until last night when I found this forum. My original reasons for searching on here was wanting to know about Alumnae involvement and how to be involved in Panhel after I graduate.

[andthen]

Originally Posted by sunysister1234

Ok I see my post upset some people - I was just curious and am now reading the forum simply because I’m curious as I didn’t know AI was a thing until last night when I found this forum. My original reasons for searching on here was wanting to know about Alumnae involvement and how to be involved in Panhel after I graduate.

I will add in my $0.02. Once you've been initiated to an NPC org you can't say I'm done with you ABC, I want to be a member of XYZ even after you graduate. This has been a standing rule for a long while and there's simply no way around it when you went through your initiation ritual you most likely made a promise/vow to the org with some other meaningful words as a part of your sisterhood.

Just because you don't particularly care for your chapters, the dynamic, or what ever issues your particular chapter might have. Your only option if you hate it that much and don't feel like your values align with the overall organization then you can resign your membership but that still will make you ineligible to join another NPC org.

FWIW..alumnae life is a lot different than collegiate life. Once you graduate depending on where you live there might be an alumnae chapter where you end up living, and you might have the chance to meet a variety of sisters from different backgrounds and different chapters, with a similar bond of sisterhood. Also there are alumnae panhellenics in some areas too that participate in volunteer and social activities.

[sunysister1234]

Thank you for your advice on the differences between collegiate and alumnae experiences. I am hoping that alumnae experience will help and allow me to do what I wanted with during my sorority time. I appreciate your help.

[FSUZeta]

If there is no alumnae chapter of your sorority where you will live when you get a job, you might look into joining the alumnae Panhellenic chapter if your city has one. You would still have a camaraderie of sisters, albeit Panhellenic ones. In addition, you might look into Jr League or Junior Service League-the different committees offer a sisterhood feeling.

[SWTXBelle]

Honestly, I found my alumnae panhellenic chapter involvement to be every bit as rewarding as my alumnae chapter involvement. It's great working with other NPC members.

[AnchorAlumna]

Even the most active alumnae group will never be as active as a collegiate group. There are simply too many other demands on our time and resources. If you're close to a collegiate chapter, you could volunteer to work with them. That's one of the MOST rewarding things I've done, and they will take ALL your time if you let them.
But probably best to seek out other involvements as an adult.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

If there is no alumnae chapter of your sorority where you will live when you get a job, you might look into joining the alumnae Panhellenic chapter if your city has one. You would still have a camaraderie of sisters, albeit Panhellenic ones.

This exactly. I joined alumnae Panhellenic in my city when I first moved here as there was no active alumnae chapter of my sorority and the women were great.

I’m not sure what you learned about your national group that you and your “values” don’t agree with, but as far as locally, the past two years have been a great big hot mess and most likely not indicative of what sorority membership is really like. Try going into this fall with an open, non-judgmental attitude and you might be surprised.

P. S. If the “values” part is a coded way of saying I didn’t realize this sorority was historically Jewish and you’re Christian, I guarantee you the women wouldn’t have offered you a bid if it made a difference.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Even the most active alumnae group will never be as active as a collegiate group. There are simply too many other demands on our time and resources. If you're close to a collegiate chapter, you could volunteer to work with them. That's one of the MOST rewarding things I've done, and they will take ALL your time if you let them.
But probably best to seek out other involvements as an adult.

LOL! My alumnae group has an event every.single.week! I have to pick and choose which to attend or I'd go crazy!

FSUZeta & 33girl, spot on!

[LouisaMay]

I understand how powerful discontentment can be. I also know that the picture you have of the sorority experience as a collegian can obscure your vision of what the future can look like! Your alumnae experience truly is what you make it. If you desire a life that is filled with sorority experiences, you can absolutely fill your time up!

Join an alumnae chapter that isn't very active and volunteer to organize an event that interests you. Having been in an AC continuously for 15 years, I can pretty much guarantee that they will be happy for your enthusiasm.

Find the Alumnae Panhellenic in your area. Even if they aren't super active, doing a little with them PLUS a little with an alumnae chapter adds up to more involvement for you.

Volunteer for your organization. I used to work in volunteer placement for ASA, and it was so fun to help match people's skills and interests with the needs of the sorority. There are little jobs and big jobs. Local jobs and work done virtually. Find your place!

If you aren't happy with the way the inter/national leaders run things, start volunteering now and make a difference. You are a member of this group, and you said that your desire was to be a strong sorority woman. The strongest thing a person can do is work toward change with focus and humility.

I hope you build a sorority life that you love!