Married & rushing? - Page 3

minDyG · #31 07-27-2009, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

Your school sounds more like the exception than the rule.

As has been said, even if you don't have something formally scheduled every night, you and your sisters are going to want to be hanging out with the chapter- as many of us have been said, this was the best part and the part that made us grow closer.

Is your husband going to be okay with you being gone every night and sometimes the entire weekend? If so, that's an interesting marriage. Actually, that doesn't leave a whole lot left to consider as a marriage.

You don't know her situation. What if her husband works nights? People schedules don't always coincide, but that doesn't mean their marriage is anything to look your nose down at. As to being gone for a weekend a few times a semester, any solid marriage takes into consideration that it is comprised of two individuals who sometimes need a break from each other anyway--so that shouldn't be anything to worry over.

cbm · #32 07-27-2009, 01:36 PM

Also keep in mind that just because an organization is open to accepting married members does not mean that you will get a bid.

If you are basically looking for girlfriends and more of a social life, you really should look into another group, either on or off campus...like Junior League which is geared more toward married women. Just joining a sorority does not give you automatic friends. You still have to have things in common with the girls, and things to bond over in order to make a friendship. Just joining a sorority does not guarantee you'll have friends. Like someone above stated, I'm not sure that I would have been so accepting of a 25 year old married friend when I was 18 and just starting college - there just aren't that many common interests.

agzg · #33 07-27-2009, 01:58 PM

Alright, that's enough. This isn't the forum for discussing someone's marriage. The question has been answered to the best of our ability when we don't know the OP and don't know her campus.

budger1984 · #34 07-27-2009, 02:09 PM

Thank you to everyone. You have all given me a great deal to think about and I'm sure I will make a decision that is best.

rococobaby · #35 07-31-2010, 04:13 PM

What do you guys think of a girl who is 19 and married rushing??

KSUViolet06 · #36 07-31-2010, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rococobaby

What do you guys think of a girl who is 19 and married rushing??

Every school is different, so it really depends on the school/chapter.

Keep in mind that there probably won't be a lot of 19-year-old married women in recruitment, so it would definitely stand out if you attend a more traditional Greek school where the actives are usually non-married 18-22ish year olds.

If your school is a more traditional Greek community, members might wonder what you have in common with them, since you're married.

They might worry that you won't participate like everyone else and you'll think "I don't have time for this silly new member activity, I have a husband at home."

If there are houses, also consider that many chapters require members to live-in at some point. As a married woman, you obviously wouldn't be able to do that.

You should also consider your partner and whether he is comfortable with the social aspects of greek life at a Big 10 university. How do you plan to handle that when it comes time to attend socials?

Just some things to think about prior to rushing.

Barbie's_Rush · #37 07-31-2010, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rococobaby

What do you guys think of a girl who is 19 and married rushing??

A married 19 year old sophomore who is planning to transfer sounds like just the thing every chapter needs.

rococobaby · #38 07-31-2010, 05:43 PM

Thanks so much for your input, it's really helpful to hear other people's opinions. It is a more traditional Greek school, but in general students there are fairly accepting. I feel like I still have a lot in common with girls my age except for the interest in finding a boyfriend (which I'm more than happy to be rid of!). That's not to say that I look down on girls as immature if they're not married or engaged. I really hope that I can show people I do want to be treated just like any PNM... I don't think I would have the attitude where I would think an activity was stupid or irrelevant just because I'm married, that's just not my personality at all.

Are houses with live-in policies 100% strict about it? I know at the school I currently am at (as opposed to the one I'm hopefully transferring to) there are exceptions for girls like me.

As for my husband, he is definitely supportive of me joining greek life. As for socials, ect. he would be fine with me going, because he trusts me. If it was possible to bring him as a date to a social that would be great, but if not he would be fine with it. We're both comfortable with sometimes having time apart and attending social events alone if the occasion calls for it. I'm grateful for your concern though :]

KSUViolet06 · #39 07-31-2010, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rococobaby

Thanks so much for your input, it's really helpful to hear other people's opinions. It is a more traditional Greek school, but in general students there are fairly accepting. I feel like I still have a lot in common with girls my age except for the interest in finding a boyfriend (which I'm more than happy to be rid of!). That's not to say that I look down on girls as immature if they're not married or engaged. I really hope that I can show people I do want to be treated just like any PNM... I don't think I would have the attitude where I would think an activity was stupid or irrelevant just because I'm married, that's just not my personality at all.

Are houses with live-in policies 100% strict about it? I know at the school I currently am at (as opposed to the one I'm hopefully transferring to) there are exceptions for girls like me.

As for my husband, he is definitely supportive of me joining greek life. As for socials, ect. he would be fine with me going, because he trusts me. If it was possible to bring him as a date to a social that would be great, but if not he would be fine with it. We're both comfortable with sometimes having time apart and attending social events alone if the occasion calls for it. I'm grateful for your concern though :]

Every chapter has its own live-in policy. If the chapter has one, I would assume that they plan to enforce it.

I don't know whether chapters make exceptions for that (mine didn't).

I'm saying this just to say that a chapter with a live-in requirement might pass on a married PNM because she wouldn't be able to live in.

rococobaby · #40 07-31-2010, 05:54 PM

Oh okay, thanks for clarifying. You're so helpful!

KSUViolet06 · #41 07-31-2010, 07:39 PM

Here's a married PNM recruitment story that is worth reading (it has a different ending):

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=98988

rococobaby · #42 07-31-2010, 09:42 PM

woo awesome! thanks, i'm still working out how to use search so you are extremely helpful yet again!