AI Sponsor Dilemma

melbelleb · #1 04-19-2011, 03:14 AM

Hi there! I'm 30 and headed into the Alpha Chi Omega AI process. My sponsor is (um...was?) one of my good friends from college. However, she was pregnant with twins, and just experienced a very traumatic and very early delivery. She has been told that her miracle babies will be in the nicu for probably another 4+ months, and to expect physical challenges when they eventually come home. I am supporting her, crying and laughing right along with her at this time, but this poses a problem for my potential AI. (And seriously, I feel awful for even thinking about this while she has all of that going on) I am IN NO WAY GOING TO BRING THIS UP TO HER---this is why I'm asking here. Would it be better to wait until she is able to be my sponsor...potentially a year+ from now OR is it possible to find a new sponsor? I truly cannot ask her to refer me to someone right now, so would I contact the nearest alum chapter?
Thank you!

IrishLake · #2 04-19-2011, 05:09 AM

Does it really matter if you wait a year, or until whenever she feels ready to focus her attention on less important things??? My god, it's not like you're going to miss the mixer with the XYZ's because of it. You're 30 years old, act like it.

pixell · #3 04-19-2011, 07:07 AM

By moving forward without her, you are saying that joining this sorority is more important than your friendship with her. I'd be wary that this could ruin your friendship with her if you move first.

My opinion:
If I were in an alumnae chapter and presented a potential AI that put a sorority she's not even in above a long term friend, I wouldn't want her as a sister.

SWTXBelle · #4 04-19-2011, 07:26 AM

It would depend on the way A Chi O does their AI program. If like Gamma Phi you are extended an invitation by the chapter, and not an individual, I would ask the chapter for guidance. It may be that they have a policy in place.

I don't see this as "CHOSE YOUR FRIEND OR THE SORORITY!!!". I would hope that she is joining Alpha Chi Omega for many reasons, and not just because her friend is one. It would be possible to continue her involvement with the chapter AND support her friend - just as she would for any sister.

Senusret I · #5 04-19-2011, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

It would depend on the way A Chi O does their AI program. If like Gamma Phi you are extended an invitation by the chapter, and not an individual, I would ask the chapter for guidance. It may be that they have a policy in place.

I don't see this as "CHOSE YOUR FRIEND OR THE SORORITY!!!". I would hope that she is joining Alpha Chi Omega for many reasons, and not just because her friend is one. It would be possible to continue her involvement with the chapter AND support her friend - just as she would for any sister.

^^^ This is what I was thinking.

LouisaMay · #6 04-19-2011, 09:09 AM

Wow...my heart goes out to your friend. I pray all goes well.

I would give it a little bit of time, and then as others said, the chapter may be able to advise you. Actually, they may already have some steps in mind. I don't know A Chi O's AI process, but your friend may be able to provide a signature and let others fulfill the more time-consuming elements of her role.

Just continue to be a great friend! If you are loving and supporting this woman in genuine ways, I highly doubt that a grown woman with her mind on her sweet babies will accuse you of 'only loving her for her letters.'

Good luck!

DeltaBetaBaby · #7 04-19-2011, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melbelleb

Hi there! I'm 30 and headed into the Alpha Chi Omega AI process.

As in, you asked your friend about it? Or, as in, she has introduced you to the chapter? Or, as in, you've been extended an invitation to membership?

DubaiSis · #8 04-19-2011, 01:21 PM

Even the person in the middle of the crisis of a lifetime needs to change the subject once in a while. Give it a little time and talk to her about it in a casual way - I know you're too busy to focus on anything else right now. Should I have someone else sponsor me so you're not burdened with it?

I also don't see this as some sort of choose me or the sorority issue. And depending on how AXO does their AI, the sponsor might not be critical. Ask someone else if you KNOW someone else who you can ask, or ask her some time when you're just chatting.

33girl · #9 04-19-2011, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

As in, you asked your friend about it? Or, as in, she has introduced you to the chapter? Or, as in, you've been extended an invitation to membership?

Exactly what I was going to say. If you've been going to alum chapter meetings w/ her for a while and know some of the sisters, one of them might volunteer to sponsor you so things don't get held up.

But if you aren't at that point yet - i.e. if your friend is the only sister you know - WAIT. Let her take the lead.

GreekGirley · #10 04-19-2011, 09:45 PM

Agree with the 'mention it casually' idea. Maybe something like, "Hey, is there anything I can help you out with these days? I know you've got a lot going on right now. In fact, I was thinking, maybe we should wait on the AI thing until your life is settled down a bit. What do you think?"

Then, she'll have the opportunity to tell YOU how she wants to proceed. I don't think it's 'bad' of you to bring it up. Honestly, it's probably just the farthest thing from her mind right now. And, if she's a close enough friend and excited enough about AXO to want you to be an AI, then she'll welcome your enthusiasm for the process.