Marriage while a member?

[Jen]

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Originally posted by ariesrising:
Would it be OK for her to get married and be expecting a child? Would this type of rule be national, or flexible from campus to campus?

My understanding is that the rule would be national, as dictated by that group's Head Office. If a sorority woman was to get married while still attending university, she is deemed to be of "alumna status". I would say the same for her pregnancy, whether within wedlock or out of wedlock. I believe that historically, the reason is perhaps they feel that when women get married or become with child, their priorities will change somewhat, and that the sorority may not have as "active" of a member as they once had. However, I also believe that some HQ are re-examing this "rule", and married girls won't necessarily be automatically deemed alumnae if they still in college. I think KKG is one group that is re-examining their rules on this.

Pnguintrax, if you're out there, this sounds like a question that you could definitely share your expertise with us!

[PenguinTrax]

I know that my fraternity will allow a married sister to remain part of the collegiate chapter or become an alumna. If she is still attending classes full=time, she can stay active in the collegiate chapter. I don't know of any restrictions regarding pregnancy, but I personally can't imagine someone staying active in a collegiate chapter while expecting - your priorities would not be on the chapter.

Some NPC groups require collegiate members that marry during school to become alumnae. I have no idea about pregnancy. My gut feeling is that if an unmarried woman were to become pregnant and decide to have the child while in college, most likely the chapter would ask her to transfer to alumnae status.

Barb

[blu_theatrics]

just curios?

But what a pregnancy or marriage really hurt the chapter that much? (If that comes across wrong, I'm sorry. I just personally can't see why you can't do both.

Obviously she will have to take time to spend with her husband and/or child, but is it that much of a strain?

what about people who live with their boyfriend vs. being married?

I'm not trying to say anything is wrong with this rule or anything, I just am not a member of a GLO and therefore have never heard of this rule and I was curious.

[Siobhan]

While no one in my chapter has ever been married as an active, I know that my international allows it. I have met a few girls from different chapters who are active and married. As far as the baby thing goes I'm not sure, but I'm sure if you can get married the baby thing wouldn't be a big problem.

it really just depends on the sorority, not on NPC rules as a whole. there is a girl in my chapter who just recently had a baby and she is still considered active.

[SoCalGirl]

I think married members & moms are given Alum status out of courtesy not as punishment. Since priorities radically change. Being an alum gives you more flexibility where as having active status there are too many things that you'd have to miss. For instance we have 40hrs of workshops before rush. Then rush is another 40hrs. Absolutely mandatory! There has to be MAJOR probs to get out of it.

[SoCalGirl]

STEP 1- Contact you Greek Life office and ask them if they're interested in having another on campus. With 60 girls it certainly sounds as if there's a need

STEP 2- Contact the National Office of which ever type of sorority your looking into and ask their policies.

STEP 3- Work your ass off. Keep your eyes on the prize.

GOOD LUCK!!!

[SoCalGirl]

OK so obviously my previous post was not meant for this thread.

I've never been able to edit or delete my posts so Moderator feel free to trash it and this one. The computer always tells me that the password is wrong when I try to edit. But it's just fine for posting

[Texas Alum]

I do not know about the national position, but the chapter constitution of my house (NPC) states that an active sister may not be married, period. A sister that gets married before the end of her active period immediately is of alumnae status.

I personally agree with it -- for my own chapter... maybe that is the answer? that the national councils should let the chapters decide for themselves on this position.

[equeen]

Perspective from an national, non-NPC sorority: one of our members married while she was in college, and remained active until she graduated. Yet another member was divorced and returning to school (after service in the military). *shrug*...as long as there is committment to A.S.K.'s ideals and goals, I don't think it should matter! My opinion, sisters who are making serious life decisions such as marrying or having children may have a lot of rich, unique perspective to bring to a chapter. It's valuable to both a sister and the chapter she's active in.

------------------
equeen
A Lioness has her Pride!
@>--;--
Alpha Sigma Kappa - Women in Technical Studies

[9 Pearls]

I don't get it. If you are already a member, why can't you be married in the NPC? If you are still in school, why would you want to go alumnae when your sisters are in school. It is possible to have a husband and/or husband and baby and still remain active. Is this a social thing where she won't be able to party anymore, because it sounds absurd. If she can't manage them in school, then what makes them think she can manage the work of an alumnae chapter, a job, and family?

[AlphaChiGirl]

Originally posted by 9 Pearls:
I don't get it. If you are already a member, why can't you be married in the NPC? If you are still in school, why would you want to go alumnae when your sisters are in school. It is possible to have a husband and/or husband and baby and still remain active. Is this a social thing where she won't be able to party anymore, because it sounds absurd. If she can't manage them in school, then what makes them think she can manage the work of an alumnae chapter, a job, and family?

In my opinion, it's not so much a social thing--it's not because "she won't be able to party anymore". It's just that, in NPC groups, so much of life centers around the house (in many cases, not in all of them)...which, if a member gets married, she won't be living or eating in the house, so she won't be able to enjoy the full benefits of membership.
Also, there's an issue of commitments. Like someone posted earlier, Rush workshops and retreats, not to mention Rush itself can take up a lot of a member's time, sometimes 80-100 hours during Rush period (which can happen more than once a year!). This seems like an unrealistic thing to ask of a married woman, with a family...who's got other priorities than her sorority--like, school, and her family, and possibly work. Being inducted as an alumnae member isn't a punishment.


What do NPHC groups do for women who are married during the course of their collegiate careers?

[blu_theatrics]

I though you didn't have to live in the house, and besides what if you live with your boyfriend in an apartment or something, what's to really say that there is less of a time commitment to someone you are living with?

Does this same rule apply for males who get married in the IFC?

[33girl]

Originally posted by blu_theatrics:
I though you didn't have to live in the house, and besides what if you live with your boyfriend in an apartment or something, what's to really say that there is less of a time commitment to someone you are living with?

Does this same rule apply for males who get married in the IFC?

It all depends on the campus....if you are at a school that has the big 100 person houses, Alpha Chi Girl's answer is correct.

But if you are at a school with no houses or off campus houses, it would be more feasible. All our houses were like this. We had married members and members who lived with their sweeties and it wasn't a big deal.

A lot of chapters (and some nationals) have a bylaw that sometime in your college career you must live in the house or suite for a year or a semester (depending on the timing of dorm contracts). They can make exceptions though, for people who are married, commuters, RA's, or have to live in a dorm to keep their student loan.

I would think the same would apply to guys. Guys?