Rushing as a Veteran

[Wolfpackmarine]

I've searched the forums, and the only threads really dealing with anything military was either about ROTC or high school kids joining up and thinking six years down the line about joining a frat, so they didn't really fit my situation.

Anyways, I'm a marine rifleman, active duty 4+ years and getting out hopefully this spring. I am applying and will attend University of Maryland if I'm accepted. I am considering joining a fraternity, but have some reservations.

My interest in joining comes from two facts. First, having been gone for over four years I no longer really know anyone going to UMD, nor in my hometown for that matter. Most everyone I went to highschool with recently graduated and are now pursuing there careers and have moved out. By the time I actually do go to school, anyone I would know still in the area probably aren't the kind of people I want to hang out with.
Second, marines (infantrymen especially) are a pretty hatefull bunch of guys. I've spent the last four years looking down on most college kids mainly out of jealousy for what I don't have (freedom, vacations, access to plenty of good looking women). I really don't want to be that bitter asshole vet that hates on everyone when I go to school.

I'm hoping that joining a fraternity will give me some kind of social life and a network of friends that I can kind of rely on. In the military I was never that far away from friends I could drink with or do whatever, I'm kind of looking for that close-knit community when I go to school.

I have reservations about joining because I've developed a fairly high sense of self respect; and Im worried about being percieved as "boot" or being treated like shit while pledging. I've got no problem being the new guy, but Im not going to be anyones bitch. Perhaps the media missportrays how fraternities really are and thats not an issue but still. I just really don't feel like coming out of the marines after 4+ years, having accomplished and experienced a lot, just to have some 19 year old kid talk shit to me.

Does anyone have any opinions or advice they could offer? And does anyone know any veterans in fraternities and how they've adjusted or are treated?

Thanks

[als463]

Originally Posted by Wolfpackmarine

I've searched the forums, and the only threads really dealing with anything military was either about ROTC or high school kids joining up and thinking six years down the line about joining a frat, so they didn't really fit my situation.

Anyways, I'm a marine rifleman, active duty 4+ years and getting out hopefully this spring. I am applying and will attend University of Maryland if I'm accepted. I am considering joining a fraternity, but have some reservations.

My interest in joining comes from two facts. First, having been gone for over four years I no longer really know anyone going to UMD, nor in my hometown for that matter. Most everyone I went to highschool with recently graduated and are now pursuing there careers and have moved out. By the time I actually do go to school, anyone I would know still in the area probably aren't the kind of people I want to hang out with.
Second, marines (infantrymen especially) are a pretty hatefull bunch of guys. I've spent the last four years looking down on most college kids mainly out of jealousy for what I don't have (freedom, vacations, access to plenty of good looking women). I really don't want to be that bitter asshole vet that hates on everyone when I go to school.

I'm hoping that joining a fraternity will give me some kind of social life and a network of friends that I can kind of rely on. In the military I was never that far away from friends I could drink with or do whatever, I'm kind of looking for that close-knit community when I go to school.

I have reservations about joining because I've developed a fairly high sense of self respect; and Im worried about being percieved as "boot" or being treated like shit while pledging. I've got no problem being the new guy, but Im not going to be anyones bitch. Perhaps the media missportrays how fraternities really are and thats not an issue but still. I just really don't feel like coming out of the marines after 4+ years, having accomplished and experienced a lot, just to have some 19 year old kid talk shit to me.

Does anyone have any opinions or advice they could offer? And does anyone know any veterans in fraternities and how they've adjusted or are treated?

Thanks

While it's out of my lane to talk to you from a fraternity rush perspective, I can talk to you about your attitude as a veteran (since I'm an Iraq veteran) who wants to pledge. I joined my sorority AFTER returning from Iraq and I somewhat felt like you but, you have to recognize if you go into the house with that kind of attitude (i.e. "No punk 19-year-old better tell me what to do. I fought for my country.") you are going to have a hard time finding people who want you to join their organization. Remember that there are TONS of great men in fraternities now or who have since graduated that are also military men! My fiancé's fraternity honors its brothers in many ways. In fact, there are some fraternities that were founded by military men. From the perspective of a veteran rushing, I want you to go in with an OPEN mind. Also, don't act like you are above anyone--regardless of how much life experience you have.

Also, thank you for serving your country! HOOAH!

[KillarneyRose]

Wolfpackmarine, I know a couple of prior enlisted guys who got appointments to the Naval Academy so they had to do the whole plebe year thing even though they'd been in the navy or marines already for a couple of years.

You'd think they'd really resent being yelled at and ordered around by guys younger than them and certainly without as much experience. But, to a man, they said that it was easy because they'd already been exposed to pressure situations so having to recite the day's menu or chopping corners were really no big deal. Plus, they were mature enough to know that it's not something to be taken personally.

Obviously, being a plebe and being a pledge isn't EXACTLY the same thing but I think there are enough similarities that you could draw a comparison.

I think you would have a lot to offer a fraternity and you should give it a shot

[lulutnl3]

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

Wolfpackmarine, I know a couple of prior enlisted guys who got appointments to the Naval Academy so they had to do the whole plebe year thing even though they'd been in the navy or marines already for a couple of years.

You'd think they'd really resent being yelled at and ordered around by guys younger than them and certainly without as much experience. But, to a man, they said that it was easy because they'd already been exposed to pressure situations so having to recite the day's menu or chopping corners were really no big deal. Plus, they were mature enough to know that it's not something to be taken personally.

Obviously, being a plebe and being a pledge isn't EXACTLY the same thing but I think there are enough similarities that you could draw a comparison.

I think you would have a lot to offer a fraternity and you should give it a shot

Oh my goodness. You just gave me crazy flashbacks. Lmao I went to USNA for a year before I had to leave to take care of some family issues in Mexico. I know several men who pledged their fraternities (city-wide chapters?) after Plebe year. You just have to remember to be humble for one. And like minded guys drift together, so hopefully you are drawn to men who are more mature and you feel comfortable with. Also check with the veterans center on your campus and maybe see if any other veterans are in fraternities?

[Kevin]

My chapter is full of vets. If your concerned about degrading/childish/humiliating hazing, realize that most fraternities have done away with that. Just be up front with it during recruitment. Tell them you don't want that and they'll hopefully be honest enough to send you to the next house.

[amanda6035]

Like ALS, I can't speak on fraternity experience but I joined AXiD as a 23 year old second semester college freshman after serving in the navy for 4 years. I was a colony member. My first semester in school, there was only 1 sorority on campus and I refused to join - thought I had already done 4 years of conforming to someone else's rules and regulations, and was too old for the BS... however, after my first semester, I realized I was super lonely. All my friends from high school who were still in my area had graduated and were doing "big boy and big girl" jobs and I was just a freshman working part time. So when AXiD was colonizing on campus, and I had the opportunity to help build it, AND meet people at the same time, I realized it was a pretty good fit.

I agree with the "just be honest" advice. Don't be a jerk, and don't act like you're too good to play the games. You already know how to play silly games. Just smile and nod and be a good sport without letting them do dangerous/hazing stuff....

Thank you for your service!

[*winter*]

As a (now ETS'ed) Guard veteran, we've had many of our guys join fraternities, both before and after serving in Iraq. I know the fraternity was a huge source of support for the guys who deployed after they joined. There are probably other brothers at UMD who have had experiences similar to yours.

I was 21 when I joined my service sorority...with some different life experiences than the younger members. I found my "niche" with some older sisters and had a lot of fun.

You lose absolutely nothing for trying.

I'd also recommend checking out ROTC, even for a semester. There is no commitment, it's fun, its easy, and you will meet up with a lot of prior service people.

[pshsx1]

Understand that when you join a fraternity, you will be at the bottom of the totem pole, for lack of a better term. What I mean is that you will be learning a lot about the fraternity from guys who may not have as many life experiences as you do. But, one of the beautiful things about Greek Life is that we all grow together. What you don't know, you'll learn from the more seasoned members and you'll also have the opportunity to teach what you know to them and the new members that come after you. You won't be treated like a 17 or 18 year old, though, because you aren't one.

Having served in the military, you already know you're not going to take any bullshit, so just don't put up with any. I'm sure you'll have a good handle on how to see through any BS someone tries to feed you during recruitment. Like Kevin said, be upfront and honest while rushing and they'll hopefully do the same. Good luck!

[DGTess]

Remember that you chapter president, rush chairman, and pledgemaster will likely ALL be your age or younger. That doesn't necessarily make them either bad or good, but you have to be willing to take from them what the other pledges take from them.

[Wolfpackmarine]

Thanks all for the advice. I'm looking forward to giving this a try.