do's and don'ts sophomore pm?

[jjen]

ok im rushing as a sophomore next fall and i need some advice. girls have told me not to go out AT ALL. and to completely refrain from partying because sororities will look down at that. this seems dumb because they go out, and im not a crazy partier by any stretch. im on the road to make good grades but is there anything i should absolutely do or not do?

[KSUViolet06]

It depends on your school.

According to your past posts, you're at Bama and if sorority members are telling you not to, you need to take their advice.

I find it's best to avoid going out at most schools, because wherever you go, sorority members will be there. Should you make a drunken scene or something ridiculous, they WILL see it.

[BlueCarnation]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It depends on your school.

According to your past posts, you're at Bama and if sorority members are telling you not to, you need to take their advice.

I find it's best to avoid going out at most schools, because wherever you go, sorority members will be there. Should you make a drunken scene or something ridiculous, they WILL see it.

Very good advice. Also, be very careful about what you post on Facebook, etc. People will see what you write and your pictures, and even if they are going out and partying, they still may not appreciate that you are.

[jjen]

wow. i kinda figured going out was a way to meet girls. im not a big drinker infact i can count the times ive truly been drunk on one hand. so is it really a good idea to just never go out?

[agzg]

Originally Posted by jjen

wow. i kinda figured going out was a way to meet girls. im not a big drinker infact i can count the times ive truly been drunk on one hand. so is it really a good idea to just never go out?

Prior to recruitment? Yes. The less negative attention you bring on yourself, the better.

You may know that you can count the times you've gotten drunk on one hand, but they don't.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by jjen

wow. i kinda figured going out was a way to meet girls. im not a big drinker infact i can count the times ive truly been drunk on one hand. so is it really a good idea to just never go out?

No one said NEVER. We just said before recruitment (i.e. next summer and fall time).

I mean, you can do what you want.

But just be aware that the things you say/do when out could potentially affect your recruitment.

I personally do not think that going out to bars/frats/etc is the venue in which you want to meet sorority women. That's probably the worst.

You want to meet them in other settings like class/other organizations/etc.

Do you want to be "Jenny that I met in class" or "Jenny that I met at *insert fraternity or bar here*?"

I would prefer to be "Jenny I met in class."

This is all up to you, though. Good luck!

[33girl]

I think it's kind of ridiculous to tell someone to spend her entire freshman year as cloistered as a nun. If that's the price you have to pay to be in a sorority, I would say the hell with it.

Right before recruitment - yes, tone it down. But I think to say "don't go out all year" is ridiculous.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think it's kind of ridiculous to tell someone to spend her entire freshman year as cloistered as a nun. If that's the price you have to pay to be in a sorority, I would say the hell with it.

Right before recruitment - yes, tone it down. But I think to say "don't go out all year" is ridiculous.

I don't think anyone said NOT EVER.

I mean, if you can't hold off on going out from like the start of school to recruitment, then being in a sorority is probably not that important to you.

As far as this year goes, I am realistic enough to know that you can't spend all of freshmen year sitting on your dorm.

However, I'd be smart about it this year and keep a low profile.

I also would not make going out your primary interaction with sorority women. That's not a good idea.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by jjen

ok im rushing as a sophomore next fall and i need some advice. girls have told me not to go out AT ALL. and to completely refrain from partying because sororities will look down at that.

She didn't give a timeline here - it sounds to me like people are telling her not to go out all year.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

She didn't give a timeline here - it sounds to me like people are telling her not to go out all year.

I took this to mean that they were telling her not to go out closer to recruitment.

I can't imagine anyone advising a PNM to refrain from going out AT ALL during freshman year.

I can see someone telling you to just be extra careful about partying, especially as a sophomore at an SEC school (mentioned in previous posts).

I mean, as a soph, it's already going to be potentially difficult, why add the problem of going out and getting crazy and becoming "that girl?"

[33girl]

She is a freshman now - that's why I thought they are telling her all year.

[Zillini]

I'm not going to tell you to not go out at all throughout the year, just be smart about it. Sorority girls (and fraternity guys) talk to each other and they have long memories. Do not let yourself ever get embarrassingly drunk. Don't be seen in a 21+ bar because you aren't 21. Don't be "that girl who practically lives at the XYZ fraternity parties or ____ bar." Don't be "that girl who picks up a different guy every time she goes out." Be aware of the crowd you hang out with. If they're obnoxious drunken tramps even if you're not, there can be guilt by association. "Oh, she hangs out with those girls." Keep your Facebook pix and comments tasteful.

More importantly, make your grades. At a bare minimum shoot for at least Panhellenic Average which last spring was 3.24. Get involved on campus! Your resume needs to be as strong in college as it was in HS. If it isn't, folks will assume all you did your freshman year was either party or sit in your dorm room and that you would do the same thing your sophomore year. Remember Recs are as important for Upperclassmen as they are for Freshmen.

Also, try to meet/become friends with as many sorority women as possible. Obviously that will help during actual Recruitment, but they can also get you invitations to the spring Teas where you can meet more members. Attend open sorority or Panhellenic events like philanthropy fund raisers or educational speakers. Attend Crimson Tidings (new last year) around Christmas which is a walking tour of all sorority houses. Attend the spring Panhellenic Preview Weekend. Keep in mind you want to show you're interested and excited, yet at the same time you don't want to come across as desperate.

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by Zillini

I'm not going to tell you to not go out at all throughout the year, just be smart about it. Sorority girls (and fraternity guys) talk to each other and they have long memories. Do not let yourself ever get embarrassingly drunk. Don't be seen in a 21+ bar because you aren't 21. Don't be "that girl who practically lives at the XYZ fraternity parties or ____ bar." Don't be "that girl who picks up a different guy every time she goes out." Be aware of the crowd you hang out with. If they're obnoxious drunken tramps even if you're not, there can be guilt by association. "Oh, she hangs out with those girls." Keep your Facebook pix and comments tasteful.

This is really good general advice for ANYONE, not just the OP. Nobody wants to be "that girl/guy". Just try and be responsible and smart with your actions.

[bostongreek]

i met a couple freshmen from our most recent pledge class at a party a few weeks before recruitment, and by the end of the night knew i wanted them to be my sisters because they were so much fun and presented themselves well, even when there was alcohol involved.

just be smart about whatever you do. no one likes the girl who can't control herself.